Thursday, March 20, 2008

Yapcunt Regional: No. 3 Texan vs. No. 6 Brown. WHO YA GOT?


The specific and the abstract stare each other down, with former Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengal head coach and stadium namesake Paul Brown taking on a Texan, circa 1836-1845, when it was still a rugged frontier rather than a sprawling wasteland of high school football obsessed fat people.

Poll is on the sidebar to the right. Voting is open through the end of the day. Voting is closed. Paul Brown won with slightly over 50 percent of the vote, by a total margin of 12 votes, 718-706.


Contestants

Paul Brown_________Texan

Preferred game

Football_______Hold 'em

Has one

Life to live, which he already lived______Star on annoyingly omnipresent flag

Produced

Three NFL Championships_____Steers, queers

Interesting connections

Fired by Art Modell______Done by Debby

Sadly associated with

Unholy triumvirate: Browns, Bengals AND Ohio State___Texas, and extension, Mexico

Unfortunately sired

Mike Brown______LBJ, George W. Bush

Finishing move

Cursing Cleveland sports for eternity____Form a really fat militia

19 comments:

Upstate Underdog said...

I'm voting for the Texans because Stone Cold said so !

LD said...

W was born in Connecticut.

RexyBack said...

Is anyone else picturing Brown getting a Stunner?

J said...

done by Debby = insta-win!

sides said...

paul brown 3:16 says both my teams suck hard

Big Daddy Drew said...

OH HELL YEAH!!!!!!

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

Paul Brown wants you to get off his fucking lawn.

Otto Man said...

As Dubya's taught us, Texans tend to run away from the real fighting and stay at home to defend their state from, uh, Oklahoma.

I'm going with the Cleveland Steamer.

smurphette said...

So Punter accounts for 2/3 of the unholy triumvirate. Is that why he's so angry? I'm torn becaus my hatred for Texas and Ohio State is equally profound.

El Duke said...

I think this is going to be another landslide. (What!?) I said I think this is going to be another landslide. (What!?) I mean Texas has all the keys to victory, (what!?) more great people come from Texas, (what!?) like ol' Stone Cold (what!?), the Undertaker (what!?), umm, well that's about it, but that's all you need, and that's the bottom line because...well you get the rest.

J.L. White said...

Texan has rifle, Brown has clipboard.

Texan wins.

romolovescock said...

wow this is a close one. i voted brown, because i do hate the star on that stupid flag.

and lbj

Dale said...

Back in Paul Brown's day, real men wore shirts, not jewelry. They also didn't wax their arms and chest, and could wrestle bears.

I refuse to believe that the man that fathered two NFL franchises would lose to a hairless, oiled up gimp. Stone Cold didn't even drink all those budweisers he cracked open, he just poured them all over himself like a booze-wasting muppet.

/homerism

Kyle321N said...

I am voting for Paul Brown because he is like a real NFL player. Fathering 2 children with 2 diferent women (cities). The man spreads his seed! GO PAUL BROWN!

Jackin'4Beats said...

You hate long blow jobs? Oh what are we talking about again?

Team Captain said...

Texan is likely an illegal immigrant. I'm saying that DQs him from the tournament.

James said...

683 to 678! best vote ever...

Otto Man said...

Hell yes, James. What was the spread on this one?

Dale said...

That's your March madness right there. 706-718, go Brown(s)!