Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Florio Didn't Write It, So It Must Be True!

BREAKING JEWS NEWS!!!


I'll believe it when the police find Peter King's bloated corpse hanging from the rafters.


UPDATE: Favre's bro tells Mississippi newspaper it's true.

34 comments:

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

Peter King looks up from felating Tony Romo, a single tear rolls down his fat red little cheek.

devang said...

I'll let Bretty go when you pry his penis from my cold dead hands (or my warm moist, apple pie filled mouth).

The Last Unitard said...

The cheese is dead! Long live the cheese!

quiet strength said...

Dust in the wind...all we are is dust in the wind...

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

@QS - I see Brett as more of a Posion fan myself, or Ratt.

Jim U. said...

Just when the Bears figured out how to beat him...

Special Agent Dale Cooper said...

Somewhere John Madden weeps alone in the dark while slitting his wrists

Pemulis said...

can we get a pool going on which week the packer fans will turn on aaron rodgers and hate his guts?

quiet strength said...

Can I get Week 15 of 2005?

Pemulis said...

as a starter damnit!

devin hester's speech coach said...

I will have to boycott ESPN for the next few weeks to spare myself the sappy tributes.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Chris(bmgd), I'm going to have to disagree with you there... Brett is clearly an Alan Jackson/Tim McGraw fan. I can see him exiting the stage from his acceptance speech to the tune of that "Live Like You Were Dying" song.


(Incidentally, I totally woke up with the theme music from "My Blue Heaven" in my head... how random is that?)

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

I can see that. Of course I have a little hate for Allan because he bought my parents old house, bull dozed it and built a big ass mansion.

Also Mrs. Ankiel I have my tickets for the Cards vs. Red Sox, I need to know a good place to go before and after the game( ie cheap place to drink).

the great bambi said...

screw that, favre's on a tractor in his fields right now listenin to garth brooks wail about "friends in low plaaaaces where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away...and i'll be ok"

at least that's what i imagine the peter kings and john maddens of the world imagine

Hank Wackman said...

He's just like a kid out there, retiring like that. I bet he'd retire for free! Brett, sir, you'll be missed.

All I can say is "thank God for Tony Romo."

UeckersEats said...

Aaron Rodgers is out buying like, twelve bottles of Dom Perrignon to put on ice for later. Yeah, A-Rog is gonna get some 'sconnie girls & celebrate tonight!

Shoopmonster said...

Dear Brett,

At last you have left all this foolishness behind so we can once again be together.



Sincerely,

Vicodin


P.S. There's plenty of beer to wash me down with.

Spud Randall said...

Doesn't he do this every year?

And as long as we're picking his favorite country song its obviously She Thinks My Tractors Sexy.

Uzo Ometu said...

Brett Favre is gone! Damn!

Did anybody see that coming this season after the year they had?

I guess he really wanted Randy Moss.

Uzo
www.TheSportsWatchers.com

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Chris, that's the series in June, right? I'm thinking of going to that as well, for obvious reasons. Shoot me an email when it gets closer and I'll hook you up with the hot spots (I live up the block from Fenway, so that's my stomping grounds). If you head 10 stops or so down from Fenway on the Green Line, there's a plethora of $1 and $2 draft specials to be taken advantage of. Not that I would know anything about those.

Rally Monkey Spanker said...

I can't wait for the ESPN Top 10 Brett Favre Plays special, hosted by Chris Berman. Hopefully we get to vote on our favorite.

And only 6 more months until we get Favre in every pre game show so we can watch the verbal falatio.

/sharpens screwdrivers to drive into eardrums

5150 said...

Today is a sad day.

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

Mrs. Ankiel - that would be correct. After air fare and hotel I think 1 and 2$ draft specials are all I am going to be able to afford.

quiet strength said...

Hmm...I hadn't meant to start a Brett Farve Musical Flame War. But if I'm guess Farve's musical preferences, I'd say he's more of an Travis Tritt, Aaron Tippin, George Strait, and Sammy Kershaw kind of feller. The folk who follow the Hank Williams style of country music. He'll get frisky with a little Sawyer Brown before games though.

Otto Man said...

In Peter King's fantasies, a sweaty shirtless Brett serenades him with "Mississippi Queen."

RexyBack said...

YES!! YES!! I thought this day would never come!!

Today is going to be a great day for all people Bears-Affiliated, most hopefully this guy:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8WJsuM19-8c

Smitty Lite said...

Part of Favre's reason for retiring is that the Pack decided against trying to get Randy Moss each of the last two years, as Brett really wanted him.

I love how even though he's playing in a different division, and even a different conference, Moss is still screwing with the Packer fans.

The Troll said...

What's a Peter King?

dickey simpkins said...

Poor Bears fans, now where will they pick up those 2 wins a year?

Jez said...

I had a feeling he would retire. He was freezing his ass off those last two games. You can't be showing that if you want to play in Green Bay. Maybe the vicodin was keeping him warm back in the day.

Good run, man.

chronic hobbit said...

So when does Soldier Field get re-named to Favre Stadium?

Since he owns most of the passing records there and a career 12-3 record, it would be a fitting tribute.

/eat shit and die

quiet strength said...

What's his record against Eli Manning in NFC Championship games? Perhaps we should rename Wisconsin "Eliville"?

Rally Monkey Spanker said...

Favre just couldn't continue in a world where he had 0-1 playoff records against Eli AND Vick.

Oh, the horror.

LOV2H8 said...

@quiet strength
only if the Steelers can be renamed the "Larry Brown Steelers"