Monday, March 10, 2008

Another Seven-Diamond Specimen, Governor Spitzer?

I know what it's like to be a man of integrity. Despite what the papers and, on occasion, the authorities have had cause to say about me, I'm an honest businessman and, you, a servant of the people.

It appears our arrangement may have landed you in a spot of hot water. For this, I am sorry. When entering into such a transaction, I'm afraid there's the expectation of a considerable amount of risk for someone of your position. Xiochita tells me of your many positions.

You have been a valued customer, to be sure. Your night-long sessions with the Diabolical Diana at $5,500 an hour put me in pink Gators for life.

I hope with arrival of your sudden legal trouble there won't be the temptation to tell the authorities of our dealings. It would accomplish little to palliate your predicament. I also think the consequences could be somewhat dire for your loved ones, as well as your friend and fellow client, Mr. Umenyiora.

Many have called you something of a latter-day Eliot Ness. I suppose I should have foreseen this being something of a problem. There can't be two of us, you see. I mean, look at my hat! The role was clearly mine for always.

21 comments:

Big Daddy Drew said...

Many of called you something of a latter-day Eliot Ness

"Let's do some good... hookers."

twoeightnine said...

Damn you quick. It's almost like you had the inside information on him hiring a girl to visit him when he was in DC.

My Insignificant Life said...

"There can't be two of us, you see. I mean, look at my hat! The role was clearly mine for always."

So very true, but Elliot Ness wore Burgundy color shoes.

/well, they looked that way in The Untouchables

Nashville Steeler Fan said...

Today, thousands of people around the country are celebrating Client #9!

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

I love my pink gators.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Anyone know the conversion rate between diamonds and smirres?

naptown drew said...

If Spitzer had dealt with I'm a Pimp Named Slickback, none of this would've happened.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Not by coincidence, the diamond rating was established by determining just how many diamonds you have to buy Mrs. Spitzer after the press conference.

My Insignificant Life said...

I think Kobe set the base line for Diamond buying.

/realizes basketball reference, but only way to make the point

Nashville Steeler Fan said...

client #8 was.....Bill Belichick

J said...

Ahh, the heterosexual heir to the McGreevy throne...

Leaking Geek said...

I guess, unlike Wade, the Guv WAS VERY COMFORTABLE at a club. The Emporer's Club, that is.

/TOUCHABLE

smurphette said...

Love the possible irony of Spitzer getting slammed with RICO charges, since that was probably his most powerful tool during his career as a prosecutor. Also, love Eliot Ness in The Untouchables with the 3-piece suit.

Nashville Steeler Fan said...

Love the possible irony of Spitzer getting slammed with RICO charges, since that was probably his most powerful tool during his career as a prosecutor..

he blatantly abused his power in my biz...heres a makers on the rocks to you..elliot, we hardly knew you!

Mongo said...

@nashville

Bellichik only goes for the married ladies...

If it ain't cheating, it's not worth doing.

BEHM777 said...

(Bleep)ing Giants fans!!! Win the Super Bowl and just lose all sense of everything. Spitzer is a putz.

Pale Writer said...

Sonofabitch looks like Marlo Stanfield.


/pisses on Cheese.

Jackin'4Beats said...

You're with me hooker.

E. Jason said...

Question- What does $5,500/hr get you?

And would you be spoiled for regular sex afterwards?

Spud Randall said...

How much spritzer could Spitzer swallow, if Spitzer could swallow spritzer?

Wormfather said...

You've got to love how Silky keeps popping up. It's last year's Off Season Adventures of Michael Vick. When OSAoMV started he was just a moron who smoked weed. He blossomed into a full recuring story. I feel like Silky has the same potential.

Anyway, it's quite ironic that after Spitzer resigns (I'm sure he will), all the governors in the tri-state area will have originially gotten their position because their boss resigned.

WV: jovpee (I dont even know what to make of that)