Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Homerism Regional 1st Round: No. 2 Bear vs. No. 7 Bronco. WHO YA GOT?











This opening round match-up pits ursa mighty against one of many retarded fucking horses we've got in the running in the mascot tourney. Will Mr. Bear get the chance to eat glue like Ralph Wiggum or will the Bronco learn for sure whether there is truth to the phrase "sweet like bear meat"? Only you can decide.. WHO YA GOT?

NOTE: The poll is at the top of the sidebar to the right. Voting for each contest is open until the end of the day that it's posted. Voting is closed in this contest. The Bear won with 89 percent of the vote.


Contestants

Bear_______________Bronco

Best Known For

Threatening America__________Bucking (and Levading)

Gravitates Toward

Salmon, Menstruating Women________Num, num, good salt lick

Possible inglorious end

Head mounted on wall_____Glue holding together your macaroni art

Name Appropriated By

Hirsute homosexuals_______Ford Motor Company

Country way of saying it

Barr_______Harse

Fans

"Godless killing machine" label appeals to atheists___Dee Mirich

Finishing move

Killing godlessly__________Running hopelessly

25 comments:

fallex said...

Man, that's sweeter than bear meat. I'ma marry her too.

+10 to the first to tell me who said that quote.

Otto Man said...

Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you.

Especially if you're a prissy harse.

SlideShow Bob said...

Theres a reason thery are the number 1 threat to America.

J said...

I think this outcome was predetermined just on the pictures provided... that and it's a fucking bear.

the great bambi said...

the only thing more dangerous than a bear is a bear led by a certain coach ditka...

DougOLis said...

Man vs. Wild > Sex And The City

Otto Man said...

I think this outcome was predetermined just on the pictures provided...

Yep. If it's Yogi Bear vs. a rodeo bronco, this goes the other way. That dude would get his head crushed in on his way to a pickanick basket.

The Lazer said...

You can only go with the namesake for mr. Grylls. It's the bear

quiet strength said...

That bear's pretty good. If you like...ten foot, 2,500-pound mascots with razor sharp claws and teeth...

5150 said...

Come for the Simpsons references, stay for the killings.

Pemulis said...

I'd like to send a warning. Anyone who is considereding doing a google image search for "gay bear" to then maybe link to a funny picture, should first make sure your safe search is off. that way you get pages consisting entirely of pictures of dudes blowing each other and/or holding their weiners.

Fake Bob Dylan said...

Horse. Just to be a dick.

smurphette said...

@dougolis: +1

throwbot said...

Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.

Animal Mother said...

Tiki Barber would like to take the credit for the bears 1st round victory.

Les Savy Ferd said...

depending on how big the octagon is, i'm pretty sure the horse's speed is useless here. Sure he might be able to deliver a solid kick to the head or two, but I'm picturing the big, drunken, godless killing machine takes this one.

Chip Fu said...

bronco takes this one.

because fuck you guys for giving him a #7 seed in a bracket where a crow is a #4. that's why.

digitaldan21 said...

Bronco.

Anything from The Simpsons, beat anything from real life. You wanna make if fair, you gotta throw up a pic of that bear from the Simpsons with his protective gear on. Until then, bronco, hands down.

Animal Mother said...

OJ Simpson votes Bears because Broncos will always let you down in your time of need. Especially the white ones.

Zac said...

Bronco pulls off the upset of the tourney here. Bears are out of style anyway, as any trip to your local seedy video store will tell you.

Man Bear Pig said...

Bears are the #1 threat to America ... I think they can handle Furious D.

Burrito Bros. Shits said...

A unicorn, maybe... A bronco, no way.... However if the two animals were trained circus animals, they would be more inclined to have the bear ride the horse.

denvergodfather said...

The Bronco better win or fucking Shanahan is going to fire everybody

dick_gozinia said...

Wait! I thought manbearpig was the #1 threat to america!?! Fucking Al Gore....

Lloyd said...

Fallex, that's The Creeper, baby . . . we know him as The Hamburger Pimp, though!