It’s our first human vs. human matchup. In one corner stands the mighty Viking. In the other, Gus CHIGGGGINS! We go right to the pros and cons and ask you, the fan, who would win in a fight… to the death! Indeed, QUIEN ES MAS MACHO?
The poll is at the top of the sidebar to the right. Voting for each contest is open until the end of the day that it's posted. Voting is closed on this contest. The Viking won with 79 percent of the vote.
-Experienced in forcible entry
-Large axe makes cleaving limbs a relative snap
-Able to set multiple huts aflame with one torch
-Able to get large groups of men to row in unison
-Odin tied with Asmodeus for highest rating in Dungeons and Dragons “Dieties and Demigods” Handbook
-Crude outfit of baby seal and baby human pelts keeps body warm
-Once portrayed by Tim Robbins
-Again with the fucking braids
-May be named Leif
-Representative of my favorite team, which means you will almost certainly vote against him just to piss me off
-That “Pathfinder” movie was total dogshit. Step it up, Karl Urban
-“Rainbow Road” to Valhalla kinda queer
-Travel to Scandanavia so terribly expensive these days
-Unstoppable when he knows gold be near. GOLD, I TELLS YA! GOOOOOOLD!!!!
-Lived in Bay Area before it got all “gayed up”, likely has never had to befriend lesbian chef couple living next door
-Unafraid of losing two remaining teeth
-Able to transmit any number of then-fatal contagious gastrointestinal diseases to opponent, including smallpox
-Antecedent to the hobo, likely knows rudimentary “Hobo Magic”
-Draws energy from delicious pregame meal of raw wolverine innards with side of “branch stew”
-Feet exceedingly well calloused
-Under current US laws, only legally allowed to pan for gold at Knott’s Berry Farm
-Beard in dire need of trim
-May have polio
-Excessive dry skin will crack and bleed at any kind of joint movement
-Can’t hear you. SPEAK UP, SONNY BOY!
Soundtrack from any Ken Burns Documentary
Voting closes at the end of the day. Let the battle begin. ENTER THE OCTAGON!