Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Hello Citizen. Which Way to The Golden Gate Bridge?

What? Oh, no reason.

At a time like this I just feel like the unique vistas proffered by that span would have a soothing effect on my soul.

How warm would you say the water is this time of year?

Huh? Just curious. I'm often interested in seemingly arcane facts like water temperature and wind velocity and such. I kind of fancy myself the occasional marine scientist, you know.

When would you say there's the most boat traffic during the day?

Hey, hey. No need to pry. Wanted to know if, say, hypothetically, something were to land in the water there under the bridge, would there be someone there to drag that something to safety against its wishes.

Well, thanks for your help. How'd you like this watch? It even has his face on it. [Sobs] I won't be needing it anymore.

30 comments:

NORB!! said...

Comedy GOLD, Ape!

Now if PK would just follow through with it.....

UeckersEats said...

Oh, if ONLY he would. If only. (sigh)

Citizen 10Cane said...

You know he's making a Starbucks stop first.

Rick said...

Best Enjoyable/Aggravating Travel Note ever.

Grimey said...

Looks like there's gonna be a sequel....

dick_gozinia said...

Hey....he's still got Romo, who leads the league in smiling.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I'm telling you, PK is already all over Matt Ryan's shit. He'll be just fine.

J said...

we should be so lucky. AND I WILLL ALWAYS LOVEEE YOUUUUUU.

Note: the word verification for this comment included the word "fags"

Awesome? absolutely.

whopayschildsupport said...

All I have to say is Bears' fans everywhere are already drunk off their asses over this news. Now time to tell my calculus teacher to fuck off for rest of the day since hell is apparently freezing over anyways...

Awful Chief said...

He may be retiring from the NFL, but we all know that Brett Favre just loves to play the game of football. If PK picks up one of the dozens of suicide counseling phones on the bridge, the voice on the other end will surely advise him to travel across the western US, where his precious BF will be playing ball in a pair of Wranglers on a ranch with his buddies.

Kyle321N said...

dick_gozinia said...
Hey....he's still got Romo, who leads the league in smiling.


Hines Wald disaglee stlongry. He smirre ahrways. Unress lacist brog make fun of him.

devin hester's speech coach said...

Romo is also the early favorite to lead the league in boysih enthusiasm and game appreciation next year.

August West said...

Somebody better put John Madden on suicide watch, stat!

(Five One Eight) said...

If PK jumps, he'll end up in China.

Ben said...

This post reminds me of a conversation my friend and I had before the NFC Championship game, in which we said if the Pack lose then John Madden would jump off the Ben Franklin Bridge.

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

Darkness warshed over Peter King - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.

Pemulis said...

When I see Peter King I'm going to give him a big hug

bfreakin3 said...

http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1803441

I hope that's one of the last things he sees.

and unless you live in wisconsin and have to put up with all kinds of fellatio-disguised-as-news-about-favres-career like i do, it's a very good day.

H Cuz said...

Maybe if he hurries, PK can still get in on Favre's suicide-murder pact with John Madden.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I'm just praying for some Cheeseheads to stumble their way over here via the Google search-bots and start commenting. I'd love for us Massholes to be only the 2nd-most reviled commentors on here...

Marmatard said...

I'd love for us Massholes to be only the 2nd-most reviled commentors on here...

hahahahahahahahaha

feep said...

Leave Madden out of this. He hasn't followed football for years, why would he start now?

Seamus Furr said...

I guess this means they'll name a street after Aaron Rodgers in... 3... 2... 1...

The Unreliable Narrator said...

An earlier birthday present. Thank you, Favre's crippled sense of self worth. Your willingness to retire rather than play without Randy Moss is really telling of the kind of teammate you always were ---- me first ... you douchebags later.

smurphette said...

As a Favrophile over the years, I'll relate one story from late last season that I think says much about why Favre made the choice he made this week. Two nights before the Packers played Seattle in a playoff game, I was in Favre's home and the doorbell rang.

Guhhhhhh.

Otto Man said...

They made a movie about this. Deep Impact.

Marmatard said...

On the eve of Super Bowl XLII, Brett Favre's man-meat was jammed so deep into my rectum that I could feel my prostate twinge with every thrust. If I were asked what being in heaven felt like, that very moment would accurately describe it. It was beautiful.

And now for my aggravating/enjoyable travel note of the week. . .

Leaking Geek said...

PK plummets from the GGB and so will Starbuck stock.

/Coffeenerdness > Shame

devin hester's speech coach said...

The ESPN coverage is enough to make me throw up. "Grizzled Gunslinger." Pull your lips off his cock and shut the fuck up!

LOV2H8 said...

It's about time for 17 years of muffdiving pornstache that is A-Rod.