Monday, March 3, 2008

KSK Field Trip – Las Vegas Gun Range And Firearms Center


The Las Vegas Gun Range And Firearms Center is located right on the outskirts of the city, well off of the strip and out of range of almost all tourist activity. To get there, you have to take a cab, watching out the window as the hotels quickly zip out of view and the residential portion of Vegas, which seems to consist of nothing but townhouses and large, empty parking lots, comes sharply into focus. This is the part of town that houses all the dealers, all the waiters, and everyone else who makes a living in town by taking your money. And the Firearms Center is where they go if they feel the need to have deadly force available to them at a moment’s notice.

I left my beer can in the car when we pulled up. It was my fifth or sixth of the day.

There were 10 of us in the bachelor party. So instead of taking a normal cab to the gun range, we all paid $60 to pile into an enormous stretch limo that was powered exclusively on biodiesel fuel. I was a bit scared we might run out of Mazola on the way. So here we were, a bunch of cityfolk, some with long hair, pulling into a gun club in a limo designed to save the planet. Not the best first impression to make.



The driver told us the gun club was fairly new, having only opened within the past year. But it looked like it had been there forever. The first thing I saw when we walked in was a table that showcased three long-range sniper rifles. All of them gave you the ability to blow a man in half from well over a 1,000 feet away. Next to the rifles were the armor piercing bullets they used. Each one was roughly the size of a Coke bottle. As a demonstration of the rifles' efficiency, a one-inch thick piece of steel scrap with a giant bullet hole going through it had been placed on the table. It's the orange thing in the picture below. I could have put a banana through the hole. I wouldn't fight in any sort of Colombian rebel army if I were you.


We were not allowed to touch the sniper rifles. But we were allowed to touch the thousand or so other guns lying around the place.


My experience with guns, up until this point, had been fairly limited. The only gun I had fired previously was a .22 caliber rifle when I went to Camp Deerhorn in lovely Rhinelander, Wisconsin. We were only allowed to shoot while lying on the ground. If we got good, we were given a red star and allowed to shoot from our knees. If we mastered shooting from the knees, we got a blue star and were allowed to shoot while standing. If we mastered shooting while standing, we got a gold star.

I never even got my got my red star. But I didn’t have to go through all that bullshit at the Las Vegas Gun Range. That shit is for fags. All I needed was $115 and I got Package #6.


With Package #6, you get to shoot a full magazine from four separate machine guns: An Uzi, a Tommy Gun, a M16 (the one they used in “Heat”), and a Mac 10. You also get to shoot two rounds from an Israeli Desert Eagle, which may very well be the deadliest handgun in the world.


Fuck and yes.

While we waited for the range to open, we checked out some of the gun accessories around the store. You could get, of course, customized targets to shoot at. Osama was a popular one. I'm sure there was a Rosie O'Donnell one stashed somewhere in the back. But there were others as well.



I’m almost certain the photos taken for the “hostage” series of customized targets were not photoshopped. They really had to pose Ron Jeremy digging a gun barrel into the side of little junior’s head there. Suck it up, kid. You wouldn’t be that position if you had had a Desert Eagle of your own. The one with the guy protecting his nuts was billed as the “Ladies Choice” target, though I wondered why the Bullseye was on the guy’s chest and not his little clay pigeon.

Our instructor for the day was a man named Ed (not his real name). He couldn’t have been more than 22 or 23 years old. When we walked in, Ed was boasting to one of the other employees about his ability to load a magazine quickly. He then told one of the employees he would strangle him to death with his own intestines. He was joking, of course. It didn’t make us any less uncomfortable. I’m quite sure he could smell the liberalism on us.


Ed brought us all into the range.


“Have any of you fired a machine gun before?”

About two of us raised our hands. I did not.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind. As long as you aren’t Muslim.”

None of us were Muslim. Phew!

“You are going to be handed a fully loaded machine gun. Keep the barrel of your gun pointed down range at ALL times. For the MAC 10, NEVER let up on the trigger. This gun is designed to fire the entire magazine. If you let go of the trigger, it’ll raise up on ya. A lot of places will not let you fire an entire magazine, but if you want to empty your clip and fuck some shit up, that is AWESOME.”

He wasn’t lying. They broke us up into two groups of five at the range. We all put on your safety glasses and headsets. I have never been around live machine gun fire before. When the first shots started to blaze, I almost shit my pants and wet myself simultaneously. Shell casings started flying out the side of the guns and bouncing off the partitions. Any buzz I had from the beer vaporized and was replaced with an astonishing sense of awareness. I have never paid such close attention to anything in my life. Not even my own penis.

“HOLY SHIT!”

The first gun I was handed was the Uzi. Because it was the first gun I used, I didn’t get a chance to fully appreciate it. One squeeze of the trigger and the magazine was gone in about a nanosecond. Same with the Mac 10. If I ever get shot to death, I want it to be from one of those two guns. At close range. I don’t want to have any time to process my own death. I managed to hit the target, but that was largely a happy accident.

Then I got the Tommy Gun, which allowed me to fire in short bursts. That gave me a little more time to savor the hot deadly action, and to take in the bouquet of the gun itself. I noticed that each gun had its own distinctive smell when it fired. And the Tommy Gun was a damn fine smelling gun. The last gun I got was the M16. I really wanted my toddler with me so I could pretend to use her as a human shield while I fired it, Tom Sizemore-style. No dice.

I reeled my target back in. Yup, that guy would have been fucking dead.

For the grand finale, we were escorted one by one into the booth to fire two rounds of the Desert Eagle. It was a .50 caliber. “It shoots through schools.” I was surprised it didn't transform back into Megatron after a few minutes. One guy in the party asked what the exit wound diameter of the Desert Eagle was. The answer was 15 inches. In other words, if you shoot a jackrabbit with it, no more jackrabbit.

The machine guns were loud. The Desert Eagle sounded like the final shot of Armageddon. If you shoot this gun without ear protection, your ears will fucking die. I’m not even sure it should be called a gun, because that doesn’t do it justice. It’s more like a very small bazooka. Even when I knew another shot was coming, I still jumped like a fucking girl whenever one of us fired it.

My turn was up. I was instructed to keep my arms locked and my feet parallel, a bit wider than shoulder-width apart (This is called the Icocseles Stance, or the "For Your Eyes Only" Stance). I was reminded not to grip the gun in such a way that my thumb would be placed right under the hammer and get torn off. It was surprisingly easy to let my thumb slide there. I had to concentrate really hard. I was also told to let the gun go up after firing, so that the recoil would not cause the gun to pistol-whip me on its own. One of my friends got a shell casing to the forehead after firing it that was ejected with such force that it drew blood. We were all jealous, because that would have been an awesome scar to have. “Yup, that was the ol’ Desert Eagle. She was feelin’ frisky that day, my friends.”

I’m not even sure my eyes were open when I fired the gun. BOOM! Miraculously, there was a hole in the orange area of the target.

“The gun didn’t stick on you," Ed said. "Nice job.”

I fucking rule. One more shot. BOOM! Another hole. I ended up the second best shooter in the group. I almost won a free hat. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME. Right, Ed?

“We had an Asian girl in here in heels last week. Couldn’t have been more than 100 pounds. And she fired that gun better’n ALL you clowns. And she may have been drunker!”

Shit.

So what did I learn in my time at the gun club? A few things:

-Anyone who bitches about gun control needs to go fire a gun sometime. Because guns are fucking cool as shit.

-I have spent the first 31 years of my life being a total fucking pussy. I’m basically a woman who happens to have a penis. All this time I've been doing things like starting a family and putting together a decent career. What a waste! I could have been fucking shit up the whole time.

-The Desert Eagle has absolutely no use as a practical weapon. If someone breaks into your home at night, and you have to bust out the Eagle to do some regulating, in the dark, against a moving target, with no ear protection, you will not only fail, you will also likely lose your thumb. And hearing. And LCD television.

-I could take down a liquor store if I really wanted to. But not a bank.

-One of my friends asked what they used for backing on the range to withstand the onslaught and prevent ricochets. Turns out it's made out of bulletproof steel set at an angle, so that the smoking hot slugs skip up into a tunnel and are deposited into a recycling container. That blew apart my theory that it was made out of Bounty paper towels.

-I’m sure Ed went home to his wife that night and said, “Honey, I just saw 10 of the biggest faggots in my life today.”

-No Hillary donors in that store.

-This was my first real gun experience, but I'll be sure from now on to act like I know EVERYTHING about guns: sneering at John Woo fight scenes, chastising criminals on the news for not using their guns safely, etc. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a goddamn expert now.

-The gun club has its tourist value, but there were plenty of folks there who were on the range specifically for training purposes. One woman was there with her boyfriend. He was teaching her to use a very small gun in a throwdown situation. I was happy I was not staying in Vegas for a very long period of time.


A taxi carrying a group of drunken retards that was extremely similar to our group pulled up just as we were leaving. Apparently, I am just another round in the clip, another one of the endless parade of jackass amateurs parading through Vegas’ living tribute to the Second Amendment. It makes you a little bit smaller, a little more insignificant.

Which, not by coincidence, a MAC 10 will do to you as well.

107 comments:

Captain Caveman said...

a M16 (the one they used in “Heat”)

It's also the one they use in -- oh, what's the word? -- ACTUAL WAR.

Jim U. said...

Ah, beer and guns. It's like peanut butter and jelly to those who live south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Spud Randall said...

The other way to keep the MAC from raising up on you is to hold it sideways and shoot it from a moving car.

the great bambi said...

don't use your fancy gun lingo here, you'll confuse BDD


and a gun is like having a second cock...if your cock could kill someone


and all this does is remind me of GTA San Andreas and the ammunation just outside of vegas/venturas...

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Sexiest post ever? Perhaps.

I fired a shotgun into a car when I visited Quantico a few years ago. That may be the closest I ever come to knowing what it's like to have a penis. A gigantic, deadly, metal penis, that is.

Skye said...

I always hated the M-16A2, when I got out of the Corps and joined the Guard I actually got issued an old M-16A1 with the full on rock and roll auto switch. That kicked ass, it helped that it had a 203 slung under it too.

For real fun Drew you need to get a chance to shoot Ma Deuce, the M2 .50 Heavy Machine Gun, that rocks like nobodies business, by far my favorite weapon that I shot in the service.

One last thing, I've been drunk several times in Rhinelander, WI. The fact that you know where it is sort of scares me.

TuckPendleton said...

Awesome. Reminded me of the story James Cameron told when he watched Sigourney Weaver gleefully go through weapons training for Aliens: "Another liberal bites the dust."

Big Daddy Drew said...

It's also the one they use in -- oh, what's the word? -- ACTUAL WAR.

Well la di da, Mr. Showoff.

devang said...

One guy in the party asked what the exit wound diameter of the Desert Eagle was. The answer was 15 inches. In other words, if you shoot a Tarvaris Jackson in the head with it, no more sucky QB.

Something to think about...

the great bambi said...

holding a desert eagle is to know, but for a moment, how rex grossman feels at every second of every day

Coggblogger said...

I was present for this. You WERE a huge pussy, Drew. But nothing compared to the squawling baby Thai woman I became when I fired the Desert Eagle.

Upstate Underdog said...

BDD, have you signed up for your NRA membership yet ?

God bless the 2nd Amendment. I might have to add this to my list of things to do when I'm in Vegas 3 weeks from now.

Shoopmonster said...

-Anyone who bitches about gun control needs to go fire a gun sometime. Because guns are fucking cool as shit.

As somebody who owns six guns and bought a handgun a week after their twenty-first birthday, I wholeheartedly agree. If I ever go to Vegas, this will be my only required stop. Maybe I could take down a brothel.

Pemulis said...

As someone who is a huge pussy, I am certain if I tried to fire one of those guns I would end up shooting myself in the face/foot/vagina

Otto Man said...

There’s no pussy here, just a dose that’ll make you wish you were born a woman.

Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you’ve got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. And the fact that I’ve got "Desert Eagle Point Five Oh" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence.

Now… Fuck off.

Robut M. Nixon said...

I maintain that the coolest gun I've ever fired was a WWII vintage M1 Garand. I don't care if it was in the middle of a sandpit in central Jersey...for those 6 rounds, I got to storm the beaches at Normandy.

Fuckin' Nazis.

Upstate Underdog said...

Gun Control Means Using Both Hands

smurphette said...

@futuremrs: That's funny, the only time I've ever shot a gun was at Quantico, too!

When I was a senior in high school I got to go to the FBI Academy to shoot guns for a science project. It was fucking awesome. My teacher told me to dress up, so I was wearing a summer dress. I also may have pretended that I was Clarice Starling shooting Buffalo Bill when I tried a Glock.

the great bambi said...

otto

i love how that quote comes from a movie called Snatch...ironyyyy

the great bambi said...

@ smurphette

does that mean you waved the gun wildly with your eyes closed and just pulled the trigger whenever?

Shoopmonster said...

If anybody ever gets the chance to shoot a TV, I highly recommend it. I also know a girl from Rhinelander, so that was a bit freaky.

dickey simpkins said...

I'd be more impressed if you could use a flamethrower. Also, I would probably vomit at the sight of a gun, so I'll stick to my good ol' crossbow.

John S. said...

robut m. nixon - I came here to say the same thing. Nothing like that "ping" to recall every WWII movie you have ever seen.

However, all in all, the M1 Carbine is the rifle you want if you "only have one."

Bouj said...

And I thought small arms training was required for all Las Vegas residents. You gotta know how to keep all the knuckleheads at bay.

Otto Man said...

If anybody ever gets the chance to shoot a TV, I highly recommend it.

If Elvis taught us nothing else, it's that any TV can be remote controlled if you have a handgun.

FTA said...

Donny, you're out of your element!

Otto Man said...

Oh, and that poster of Ron Jeremy and Macauley Culkin is clearly from Home Alone 4: The Cornholing.

smurphette said...

@bambi: Ha, no, I was actually pretty accurate for a first-timer (with the handguns - the machine gun, not so much).

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Smurphette, I'm embarrassed to admit that the very first sound that came out of my mouth after I fired my shot was "YEEHAW!" Needless to say, that did not jive with my preppy New England upbringing in the slightest.

smurphette said...

To be fair, do they even have a preppy NE expression for shooting a shotgun into a car? Considering that Quantico is in VA (and not in what we like to call northern VA) I think you were better off with the when-in-Rome approach.

the great bambi said...

futuremrs.

i doubt people will mind too much if what you do doesn't jive with preppy masshole, sorry new england, upbringing

fallex said...

It's also the one they use in -- oh, what's the word? -- ACTUAL WAR.

I hear they used 'em in the Persian Gulf Distraction as well.
/ducks

Jake said...

You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun, and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written down the side of mine should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now...Fuck off!

ASmith said...

When I graduated from college, my dad inducted me into the "Man Club" by taking me up into the hills and unloading round after sweet round of hot, molten steel into an old, rusty Buick.

Since that day, I have voted Republican.

Otto Man said...

To be fair, do they even have a preppy NE expression for shooting a shotgun into a car?

I believe they call that Peppering the Pheasant.

TurleyGirlie said...

I'm shocked we don't have more "wife was horrified" posts from BDD.


Also? The first time I fired a handgun (a .38) was when we were evacuated for Katrina for a month. It was FUCKING AWESOME.

I had some serious balls for months afterward.

Otto Man said...

When I graduated from college, my dad inducted me into the "Man Club" by taking me up into the hills and unloading round after sweet round of hot, molten steel into an old, rusty Buick.

Since that day, I have voted Republican.


Let's see...

Guns and violence. Contempt for the American auto industry. Thinly-veiled homoeroticism.

Yeah, that's a Republican all right.

dickey simpkins said...

otto man:

You mean great American patriot.

Rally Monkey Spanker said...

You should have tried going to school in the Midwest. I swear there was at least one gun in every room of my fraternity house. Shotguns, rifles, 9mms, .38s, SKS, AK47s, 22s, 223s. You name it, it was probably stored there illegally. All under the guise of "good hunting weapons".

I'm still surprised we never lost a pledge with those instruments of hazing around them drunken hillbillies.

Booder said...

If anybody ever gets the chance to shoot a TV, I highly recommend it.

I had the chance to shoot a big old console model with a 12-gauge double-barreled coach gun loaded with double-aught buckshot once. That _was_ completely awesome. I didn't have the balls to shoot both barrels at once though.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I feel like I'm learning so much about everyone today. It's beautiful, really.

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

n TN everyone carries a gun, hell I have like four stashed on my person at all times.

Also did the M16 have a unlimited clip like in HEAT as well?

Undead Zombie Horde said...

I could read "wife was horrified" inspired posts all offseason.

also, beer and firearms are not restricted to the South. That is as American as...well...beer and firearms.

Grimey said...

Sure, Drew, you shot a 50 cal Desert Eagle... but was it gold-plated?

the great bambi said...

who are you grimey? reggie nelson?

Tom Brady's Man Chowder said...

@ Skye- When Ma Deuce speaks,everyone listens.

I too have been to Rhinelander WI, I'm a little freaked out right now.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Grimey, that was awesome

naptown drew said...

@grimey

Not sure if I should admit this, but that store is Indy's finest gun shop. It's where I've always gone for my nut-checks since the age of 18.

quiet strength said...

@nd - Jamaal Tinsley agrees.

Unsilent Majority said...

I once shot a 12 gauge at a milk carton!

/total pussy

Otto Man said...

Great find, Grimey. Only $10 to rent a gun? How can I lose?

I went to the website and wasn't disappointed. Probably the first time I've ever seen "live bait" and "machine guns & silencers" listed side by side.

drozz said...

i thought they used m-4s in "heat". m-16s are just too long.

true about the hangover/buzz reducing effects of firearms: was staying outside NO during mardi gras;every morning, i was handed a shotgun and some boots. better than O2 and IV saline.

naptown drew said...

By the way, after you rent it, you don't take the fucking thing with you out of the store. You use it at their range and (are supposed to) give it back before you leave the store.

Although, about a decade ago a couple of people decided to test that theory and murdered the clerks. They left with a nice little supply. Since then the store has tightened up security and there's little chance of that happening again.

Spud Randall said...

ND- At the range I go to, the dude at the counter's got a 45 cocked and locked in case anyone get frisky.

The Pirate Sloth said...

KSK should take a field trip here this summer:

http://current.com/items/87302871_shooting_machine_guns?xid=%20%20%20200

J Money said...

I think my favorite part is Drew being proud of hitting the target... with machine guns.

quiet strength said...

As proud as I am of Indy, home of Don's Guns and the Indiana Pacers, we've got nothing on Texas .

Wormfather said...

Well BDD, it took almost a year but you have officially replaced "The Towel Spot" as my favorite submision. Mail this shit to the pulitzer commision.

This would have been the highlight of my day if it wasnt for the fact that I have to watch The Wire series finallie tonight.

:(

Big Daddy Drew said...

I think my favorite part is Drew being proud of hitting the target... with machine guns.

Let's see you try it, amateur!

Biggus Rickus said...

To illustrate the differences between services, as an Air Force enlistee I fired an M-16 for one day in basic training and pretty much never saw a gun again. Still, that day was easily the most fun of those six weeks.

WV: ldicck; speaks for itself I think.

Louis said...

Long range for a sniper rifle is 1,000 meters plus, not 1,000 feet.

Pemulis said...

not only have i not even ever held a gun, i dont even think i know anyone who owns a gun, except one friend who is a state trooper. does that really count though? anyway, i suddenly feel like im missing out on a huge part of life.

Wormfather said...

@pemulis

I'm in the same boat. All I can think about is the couple of times I've been paint balling. Then I think about how scared I wasnt. Then my friend told me that the pellets moved at 300 feet per second (compared to 500 for a bullet), still wasnt scared. Then I got hit for the first time. I was scared.

Now, I'm just proud of my pussiness.

Joel said...

My mother hung me on a hook once. . . .Once!

Ahh Joe Piscopo, I can barely remember back when he was still funny.

becky said...

you know what would have been a nice accessory to the firearms?

a sweet 'stache.

Pemulis said...

I'm wearing a mustache now. It's growin' in real good.

/hopefully not the only person obsessed with Safe Men

miamidiesel said...

@wormfather: sad to say, but The Wire series finale isn't on On Demand, so unless you've got some sort of hook-up you can't watch that shit until next Sunday. Can't wait to see how this ends.

As for my gun stories, when I went to my dad's village in a remote part of UP in India, my grandfather gave me a shotgun when I went to bed and told me that if I saw anybody in my room I didn't know at night, to blow them away (it's common for thieves/kidnappers to come by when they know there's people from out of the country around). So I spooned with the shotgun that night, then the next morning I got to go out and shoot some rotten potatoes in the fields to pieces. Getting so close to the shotgun, all I'll say is I was never more ashamed of the size or powerlessness of my penis. I also fired some sort of pistol at my cousin's wedding in India, but it didn't stack up to the shit BDD used. Now, I really need to go to a shooting range and make up for some lost time....

deafjeff said...

I'm starting to think Rhinelander is the first town on the only road into WI.

dick_gozinia said...

The one and only time in my life I ever fired a gun was at that range in Vegas. I shot a glock 9mm and a .45 caliber. I chickened out at anything bigger because I'm not a gun enthusiast but I am a giant walking vagina.

But my best friend who I went with was the happiest I've ever seen him in my life. He got in some quality time with the Desert Eagle and an M16. And even though that was about 6 years ago, he still mentions it monthly.

John S. said...

Here is the deal.

If you have never fired a weapon, do so. Even if you are, somehow, unaffected by the fun of it, at least you have the intellectual honestly to have tried something before dismissing it out of hand.

Pemulis said...

the only weapon I've ever fired was a catapult

Rickey Henderson said...

Bah you chearp pussy, you should've splurged to fire the M-60. Rickey is unimpressed by your armament selection

Skye said...

@deafjeff:

No you have to drive a good way to get up to Rhinelander, it's buried in the Northwoods.

It really isn't anywhere near a "main road"

@robut:

The M1 Garand is nice, I have one chambered for .30-06, I will say that my brother's M21 SWS though (which is a tricked out M-14) has become my new favorite rifle lately.

I feel I need to let out a "Yeehaw I love shooting! I am fucking crazy!"

the great bambi said...

this week's mock draft: weapons

futuremrsrickankiel said...

@the great bambi: I pick love! That's the greatest weapon any of us has!

Awful Chief said...

pemulis: if you don't quit with the "i'm not a gun person" comments, i'm gonna shoot you so bad that your cock spins around like a fuckin Stihl saw.

you're not the only one.

the great bambi said...

screw that, i saw captain planet, heart sucked, plus your love of KSK has done nothing to stop their patriot bashing...just saying...

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Ah, but fortunately my love of the Patriots is stronger than the strongest of Haterades.

the great bambi said...

and it did work wonders for romeo and juliet...

Dave said...

good example of what can go wrong while firing a desert eagle (if you're a 90lb teenage girl)

http://www.break.com/index/skinny-girl-owned-by-desert-eagle.html

Wormfather said...

@Bambi

They did a non-gun draft last year. But major props on the Captian Planet ref...god that little boy from south america did suck. Water, fire, wind, earth and LOVE. That was so fucked.

ASmith said...

The other forms of Captain Planet, without Heart, were much more awesome.

Like if Fire and Wind only showed up, then Captain Planet was just a whirling mass of fire wind -- so much more awesome than a Bolivian kid with a monkey.

the great bambi said...

seriously, if that had been a live-action show and i was the kid stuck with heart i'da bitched to the director and producers every day and probably started showing up drunk and coked out of my mind every day to the set, he was more worthless than tonsils or an appendex

BEHM777 said...

The Air Farce actually let their guys and dolls shoot a weapon in Boy Scout, I mean, Basic Training?

A Mossberg shotgun is my weapon of choice (for home security, of course).

Forgive me for not getting the link between firearms and manhood. I mean, any little faggot can pull a trigger...ask Andrew Cunanan.

FTA said...

As a man who has actually taken another man's life (even if it was just a muslim), I feel like I can speak some truth here. 1. It's a magazine, not a "clip". WTF, were you raised on the set of Colors? 2. You can think highly of that Desert Eagle all you want, but I'll let you have the pistol and I'll take my M16 and we'll call it a day.

BDD, you always keep me laughing. Even with the stuff that exposes you for who you are. I appreciate your honesty and talent.

Smello said...

Great story BDD. I miss guns. I haven't shot a gun since high school. We used to set up cans & shoot at them in the sand pits. I might have to force my nephew to take me skeet shooting the next time I'm home. He's the proud owner of many a weapon.

SlideShow Bob said...

if u wanna talk about a coll ass WWII waepon, u guys need to try a Browning. They only had 20 round clips but i gotta say the BAR is badass.

Big Daddy Drew said...

BDD, you always keep me laughing. Even with the stuff that exposes you for who you are.

Even already knows I'm a complete pussy. I don't think I'm hiding anything.

Jeff V said...

I love that on a sign with three words they managed to makea typo.

[should be gun gift certificates available]

Feta said...

If you want fun, you need to shoot an AK-47. I have on several occasions, and it's great. I've shot a couple different WWII rifles, and I actually own one (a Soviet Mosin-Nagant). Guns are great.

Gern said...

I'm sure you can do it many places, but here in Arizona you can go out in a hummer with a .50cal machine gun mounted on it and go out in the desert and blow away all sorts of cool things. In Vegas, I would've insisted on shooting one of those .50 cal sniper rifles. Talk about cool.

Kyle said...

Native Texan here, so I was raised around guns and I'm fully aware of how fucking badass they are. One time me and my dad made some bullets out of straight lead and went black powder shooting. Loud as fuck and puts out more smoke than kick, but you feel like a fucking mountain man.

On a side note Drew, the reason we get to have guns isn't to protect us from criminals but from the government going crazy and taking away rights, and that's something even liberals can get behind.

Spatula said...

The manufacturer of the Desert Eagle admits it's mostly sexy with unremarkable ballistics. You should have fired the .50 cal. Every year, my brother, father, and several friends go out to South Dakota and protect the world from prairie dogs. Last year they took my brother's .50. Apparently, you only have to get close to those plague-infested vermin to really fuck them up. I can hardly wait for this year.

Otto Man said...

On a side note Drew, the reason we get to have guns isn't to protect us from criminals but from the government going crazy and taking away rights

I'm pretty sure the Bill of Rights has been completely redacted by this point, so there's no real need to worry anymore.

Sssssssh. Go to sleep, America.

Colts and Hoosiers Fan said...

@ grimey

Holy shit I love that commercial. Every time I see it makes my day.

Kyle said...

Otto man, with every new thing Bush does, I wonder why liberals aren't organizing militias against him. Then I remember that liberals made it harder for people to get guns in the first place. Irony is a cruel mistress.

Jackin'4Beats said...

I've held a MAC 10 with a blast suppressant (heavy shit there) an AR-15 and a Desert Eagle, but have never fired any of them.

Yes, yes, I am a big fuckin' pussy. But I've always wanted to shoot a Desert Eagle so I might have to make that happen the next time I'm down south.

Jason said...

Okay. It's taken 98 comments to say this but, FUCK YES JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY!

Undead Zombie Horde said...

@Kyle: Maybe the only thing the far left and the far right can agree on is their disdain and mistrust of the U.S. government.

"Swayin to the rhythm of the new world order..."

Mike said...

a Tommy Gun!!!

I fucking came when I read this.

Did they give you a cigar butt & play "Danny Boy" while you fired that bitch?

Otto Man said...

Otto man, with every new thing Bush does, I wonder why liberals aren't organizing militias against him. Then I remember that liberals made it harder for people to get guns in the first place. Irony is a cruel mistress.

No matter what, our militias would be disappointing. Probably with a bunch of hippies toting giant paper-maché puppets and a dreadlocked douchebag with a Free Mumia sign.

Even then, as much as I fucking hate hippies, I'll take our idiots over the other side's.

Otto Man said...

Did they give you a cigar butt & play "Danny Boy" while you fired that bitch?

Those were my thoughts exactly.

Next time I'm in Vegas, I might just show up there in a purple bathrobe with that song on a tape deck.

"Seein' you mope around here ruins my, whaddya call it, "joy de veever"?"

Booder said...

While we're showing stupid yet relatively harmless Stupid Gun Tricks...

ouch

Nicholas said...

In Texas, they call this "Thursday."

horns27 said...

another native Texan here, and that old lady having a gun reminded me of my grandmother. born and raised in fort stockton, tx (a short distance from where No Country For Old Men was set/filmed), she carries a 9mm whenever she leaves the house. work, grocery store, walking her dog, everywhere.

whoever made the post about AK-47s being awesome, that is correct. my dad/grandfather own one, plus a desert eagle, thompson, AR-15 (basically a semi-automatic version of the M-16), m1 garand, a "slightly modified" shotgun, and loads of other stuff. not trying to make a list here, but by far the most fun gun to shoot is the AK. i convinced my dad when he was drunk once to let me bury it with dirt and fire it. still worked. probably wouldn't be able to say the same about the ar-15.

i am going to vegas in august and this is what i am doing the first day.

Greg Schuler said...

Someone's got the gun fever...

I second skye - Ma Deuce is the way to go. There is nothing like putting .50 cal down range. Headspace and timing...

I will disagree - I despised my M-16A1. It was older than me and was basically a museum piece when they issued it to me. I spent more time cleaning it to look good (if not function). At least the M-16A2 worked.

I would also second Knob Creek shoot - Info. The night shoot is particularly impressive - Link. Safety first.

Austin said...

Tank Johnson would be proud.