Reader Linda C. wrote to us this morning to let us know that the Patron Saint of our fair site gave birth to a baby girl Wednesday. The girl’s name is Kellen Kolber. I don’t think it’s much to ask Jesus to make sure that kid’s middle name is Suzy, or Sarah, or Shania, or Scrumpetina, something else that causes people to think of poop stains whenever they see her monogrammed towels.
We hear that mother and baby are both well. And that is fantastic. We’re genuinely jazzed for Suzy and her new daughter, and we wish them the very best.
Now, about that FIRST name. It begs the question of who the father might be…
Hmm. Too old. And how would he have time to hook up with Suzy when he's so busy fucking himself?
Hmm. Too green, although he does seem to enjoy the presence of children.
Possibly. If any epitomizes the phrase “young, dumb, and full of cum,” it’s our friend the Lieutenant here. But I still don’t think that’s quite right.
Oh yeah. We’ve got our culprit.