Monday, March 24, 2008

Your Updated Kill Kill Kill Mascot Bracket


Through one week of tossing darts at the board, the majority of the top seeds remain. We had a tight race between Paul Brown and the Texan but otherwise the races haven't been anything resembling close. We're (okay, I'm) hoping at least that as the field winnows down, we will have a few closer tabulations, or, you know, the Steeler coming back somehow. UFFORD JOBBED HIM GODDAMMIT!

14 comments:

SlideShow Bob said...

i think the "Molested BY Jack Hanna" division should be intresting, its all felines. id go with the Lion though, theres a reason its the king

romolovescock said...

the giant shouldnt have beat the packer, as noted..andre the giant was a huge pussy

eagle > jet. without question

Colts and Hoosiers Fan said...

Stelly McBeam needs to come back. Gallo must have cried himself to sleep after that loss to Buffalo Bill.

smurphette said...

Much like Butler in the real bracket, the dolphin got hosed with a lower seed (and earlier exit) than it deserved.

Moof! said...

UFFORD JEWED HIM GODDAMNIT!
Fixed.

quiet strength said...

And the Saint, like Indiana, had the potential to be a bracket buster but shit the bed.

Otto Man said...

The Chief is making it to the Final Four.

First, he's easily going to overpower his fellow Native American. A powerful and skilled leader of a race will always triumph over a crude stereotype. Malcolm X trumps Stepin Fetchit, Cesar Chavez beats Carlos Mencia, and any other white man beats K-Fed. Think you can take down a chief like Sitting Bull, punk? Aw, redskin please!

After that easy warmup, the Chief will handily take down whatever paleface comes up next. This is, after all, the Construda Regional, and you've got to give the edge to the man whose job description involves mastery of the peace pipe.

So if any of you compulsive types out there are looking for a winner, it's the Chief to the Final Four. I'm making it my Lock of the Week.

Barney said...

***Otto Man*** You don't think the Chief might lay down in the playoffs after being locked into a series of one sided REALLY REALLY BAD contracts?

- Barney

MDT said...

This will of course lead to the Steeler, angry at his losses, going on a three-day bender, acquiring a gun, and shooting Bill in the back of the head.

Otto Man said...

You don't think the Chief might lay down in the playoffs after being locked into a series of one sided REALLY REALLY BAD contracts?

Nah, he still has reason to trust the Great White Father, Carl Peterson, because he doesn't yet realize he's an idiot.

The real danger is that the Chief runs into one of his animal spirit guides in the Final Four and just rolls over.

The Lazer said...

As if the Native Americans didn't have it bad enough. First we take their land, send them off to reservations, destroy their culture, and place smiling charechetures of them on the hats of a team in cleveland, but now the Committee has them knocking each other out in the sweet 16 of mascots. For shame.

Burrito Bros. Shits said...

Tha Jack Hanna bracket is sadly anticlimactic. You could say push for any of the matchups. Lion v. Bengal in the Sweet Sixteen just to see the Liger creation. I got the Jet winning this shit...

dick_gozinia said...

I'm thinking its a Bear vs. Viking final and I'm fine with that.

The NFC North is represented well in this thing.

85 said...

Somehow, I think Steely would be perfectly fine with any kind of jobbing Ufford wanted to give him.