Monday, March 17, 2008

eBay Fraud: blitzmaster77 Can Stab His Own Taint

This is a shot of a Bengals jersey currently being auctioned on eBay by some guy calling himself blitzmaster77. And unlike blitzmasters one through 76, this asshole's getting fresh with this particular internet venture, a supposedly autographed, game-worn Willie Anderson jersey. And with about three days of bidding left, the high bid is only $31 (with a $20 shipping fee):

This is a 2004 game jersey used by cincinnati Bengals Great and 4-time Pro bowler, Willie Anderson during the 2004 season...Comes with PSA/DNA sticker(#1N15410) and NFL auctions C.O.A....Thanks, Chris.

Pretty sweet deal, right?

Fuck no, it isn't. There is no way in hell that this jersey was ever worn during an NFL game. As they say, the numbers don't lie.

The Bengals updated to the sewn-on block numeral style you see in the top shot in 1997. The change from the heat-sealed numerals was termed as "evolutionary, not revolutionary." This update also incorporated a new sleeve logo, but we're getting off topic.

When the Bengals broke out all-new duds in 2004, they went with a fatter, Impact-fontish, rounded numeral set. The jersey itself was updated, including the orange striping on the shoulders that we can see in blitzmaster's pic. But dude put on the old numbers.

If you buy enough shit online, you're going to get scammed eventually. But that doesn't make pigfucker77 any less of an asshole. Nor does it give you an excuse to be stupid. I'd bet that autograph is a forgery as well. I can only hope that the assholes bidding on this are shoeless rednecks in Covington who could only keep track of their team's colors by tattooing them on their arms, right below their sister's/wife's name.

Sucks for them, really.

22 comments:

J said...

paul lukas just shit himself with glee, Punter

"pig" in my word verification = amazing

The Magnificent Eeyore said...

That's a helluva sniff-out ... Well done.

Eddiebear said...

Well played. And why doe sit have to be some shitty team like the Bengals? Did the guy think he could get away with it because it was from a team without a Manning on it?

Tyler Houston said...

Damn.

We tip our hat.

That's deep digging, sir.

Now go fuck yourselves.
Happy St. Pat's.
-tyler

The Pirate Sloth said...

Bah, Bengals fans. Skyline Chili sucks balls too. Big, hairy, sweaty, unwashed balls.

Mike said...

Investigative journalism comes to KSK.

Can a heartwarming story of a second string fullback & his relationship with a 7 year-old kid with leukemia be far off?

Monday Morning Punter said...

Can a heartwarming story of a second string fullback & his relationship with a 7 year-old kid with leukemia be far off?

Yes.

TurleyGirlie said...

Idjits.

The bidding's now up to $182.



For a Bengals jersey.

Otto Man said...

Nice work there, Matlock.

Pemulis said...

T"his is a 2004 game jersey used by cincinnati Bengals Great and 4-time Pro bowler, Willie Anderson during the 2004 season...Comes with PSA/DNA sticker(#1N15410) and NFL auctions C.O.A....Thanks, Chris. "

at no point does that say it was an NFL game jersey, maybe its a jersey anderson wore in a pick up game with his friends and kids on like, a random saturday during the 04 season - so I guess he's not really lying - unless that psa/nsa sticker thing is some authenticity meter that i'm just too stupid to understand at present.

Jack said...

it's great that you're such a bengals fashionista, but it doesn't change the fact that their jerseys are the most fucking ugly things worn in the NFL.

/browns fan

Animal Mother said...

Great catch. Do you think the retard even knows it's a bogus jersey? Or similar to getting a fake $20 bill, is just passing it along to the next sucker?

And when did this site become the Maury Povich show? What's next? DNA tests to prove who the baby's father is?

dick_gozinia said...

Can we please make this the (first and) last ever post about Willie Anderson?

/willing to recant if willie anderson cures cancer or pulls me out of a burning car

Awkward Boner said...

SOLD!

Jeff said...

So..."Blogger in mom's basement" is cliche, but "icestuous hillbilly Kentuckian" is fresh and smart. Glad we got that cleared up.

Weber said...

Dear Pirate Sloth:

Say what you want about my Bengals, but don't you fuck with Skyline Chili.

Oh, and great catch, Punter.

Nathan said...

Jeff, as a native of Northern KY, Punter's right, there are a lot of idiot hillbillies in Covington. Besides, any post about the Bengals is a good post.

/Skyline chili rules

SRV said...

did the seller really need to put in Willie's stats. It is so informative to know that the slacking ass LINEMAN has rushed for zero fuckin yards in his career.
Oh hells yeah, Skyline kicks ass and the hilljacks are in Covington. God knows there are none in Florence (y'all) - damn it, now I gotta go get a couple of coneys

Jim said...

Hard Times > Skyline

American Vulture Sports said...

Report the item as counterfeit:

http://contact.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ContactUs&wftype=2023&rcode=BN%25P10158&subject=Replica%20and%20Counterfeit%20Items&bcrumb=+Home+%3E+Help+Topics+%3E%A0Rules+and+Policies%A0%3E%A0Rules+for+Sellers%A0%3E%A0Rules+about+Intellectual+Property%A0%3E%A0Replica%2C+Counterfeit+Items+and+Unauthorized+Copies&instruction=&expirationDate=

Jeff said...

Nathan,
As someone who grew up in West-Virtucky (the hilly, forgotten part of Southern Ohio--yeah, we mine coal, bitches), I'm well aware of the situation. I just wanted to be a dick. And skyline is fantastic.

Tyler Houston said...

Sklyine Chili = Hot dog chili (sans beans) + 2 tbs of cinnamon.

Meh.