They're calling it a preview of the Super Bowl, but this match-up between New England and Dallas really is an intercontinental maritime quarterback showdown the likes of which never before seen. It's bound to be the most excessively hyped regular season game of the year, at least until the Pats play the Colts. The winner will be showered with golden praise. The loser will be taunted and booed and fellated until PK's throat is sore. WHO YA GOT?
Tom Brady____________Tony Romo
Annoying first mate
Bill Simmons__________________Peter King
Bob Kraft and Bill Belichick_________________Wade and Jerry
Needy children__________________Needy Mexicans
Gisele/Bridget Moynahan_________Carrie Underwood/Jessica Simpson
$30 and rising_________________Treasure of the Sierra Madre
Stetson____________________Diet Pepsi Max
Playing Cowboys defense____________Hispanic Heritage Month
Player's Guide______________Parcells' 11 Commandments
Occasionally humorous YouTube devotee
Destroying family values____________Not speaking American!