Thursday, October 25, 2007

Dolphins Struggle With Injuries, Geography

So Channing Crowder is probably gonna get a start in that game over in England this weekend, as Zach Thomas is hurt, so he'll have a limited amount of time to pick up some of the nuances of that defense. You know, stuff like zone blitz packages, hook coverage, and, well, learning that people in London speak English.

"I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries," he said. "I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I know London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."

I'm sure it is.

Thanks: Rotoworld, via Brandon M. (no link sent, so fuck you)

19 comments:

Upstate Underdog said...

Channing Crowder is making Miss Teen South Carolina look like Einstein or Fermi.

Wormfather said...

My fiancee (who's british) met a guy at a bar a long time ago and it apparently went something like this.

Him: Hey, whats up, what's your Name?

Her: Lindsay

Him: Is that an accent I hear? Where from?

Her: Yes I'm from England.

Him: Cool. What language do they speak in England.

Her: Sleep with me now!

Wormfather said...

...ooops

Her: Umm, I've got to go.

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

I'm sorry wormfather, I didn't know you were with her.

Jamie said...

It's true. We have no black people in England. They all disappeared one night and we were confused as fuck.
Anyway, I feel for my poor English bretheren who are still back there, we're inflicting the Dolphins on them.

Pepster said...

Channing Crowder - another example of the shining Southern Public School Systems!!!! Go Gators.

Les Savy Ferd said...

the jubilant enthusiasm I'm imagining in the sentence "I know London Fletcher," as if implying "does this count?" cracks me up.

also the racist bits. comedic gold.

Upstate Underdog said...

Channing Crowder thinks Santonio Holmes is from San Antonio, TX.

Pemulis said...

Channing Crowder is confused by Leon Washington because he doesnt specify state or d.c.

MannysHeadStash said...

This makes sense though because Channing Crowder actually lives inside Carol Channing's vagina.

fallex said...

I read this on rotoworld yesterday, too. The full article makes it out that CC is just having some fun with us.

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/palmbeach/miamidolphins/entries/2007/10/24/crowder_discovers_he_wont_need.html?cxntfid=blogs_inside_the_dolphins

brad said...

"He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London."

I'm sorry. I can't stop laughing.

WV: Uzqpuvgo. I think he's going to sack Cleo Lemon at least 3 times on Sunday.

Les Savy Ferd said...

@mannysheadstash

you totally fucking win.

Vanilla said...

When I moved back to the US from England I was in High School and the most common question I heard was "so are you bilingual?"

And I didn't even go to High School in the South.

Keggin' With Foos said...

Jesus Christ. The NFL is the one professional sport that has an age/college requirement before you can enter the draft and this is what we get. Are you fucking serious? NBA... You're 18? You can put the rock in the hole? Great you're starting for the Sixers tonight. MLB... You're 18? You can throw 100MPH? Get on the fucking hill? NHL... (yes it's still a professional league) You can skate? You have a hell of a slap shot? Lace 'em up you French-Canadian faggot. Maybe that concussion this holds some water, eh?

http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=224682

Kevin said...

The more important question is: what does this mean for Florida's ranking in the next US News College Extravaganza?

dick_gozinia said...

I love life sometimes. Its all a big circle of events that infrequently leads to awesomeness.

If Zach Thomas doesn't get rear-ended after the Pats thrashing, we don't get this gem from Channing "Florida Gator" Crowder. And if CC went to a real college, we wouldn't get this quote at all. Everything fell just right...

Shayon said...

For Christ's sake, the dude scored a 30 on the Wonderlic and was in the National Honor Society in high school. He was joking.

Robert Weber said...

Bobby Simmons says to stay away from the Chinese food.