Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Suzy Kolber Was Kissed, Then Inseminated

Pro Football Talk, which is always right about these things, is spreading the rumor that Matron Saint Suzy Kolber is preggers or with child, or whichever other gormless idiom you use for pregnant. I prefer germinated. It sounds less appealing that way.

See, Suzy, you start hanging around NASCAR and, before you know it, you're having kids out of wedlock. Sure, ESPN'll be cool with it at first, provided you name the kid Norby or Norba, then tighten up afterwards. They'll have the finest vaginoplaster money can buy.



PFT hears it's a girl, no doubt bound to be thick in the britches. But what of the name? JET Kolber? Turtleneckesta? Chevy Tahoe, Jr.? You decide, commenters.

UPDATE: We have an idea who the father is...


33 comments:

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

Kendra Samantha Kolber?

ben said...

Lawrence Taylor Kolber. Boy or Girl.

Weed Against Speed said...

Who's the father? Michelle Tafoya*?

*to be honest, I think Michelle Tafoya is a "handsome" woman.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Rex Grossman doesn't like you publicly criticizing his work...

Franklin said...

Immaculate Conception Kolber

grungedave said...

Joe Willie?

devang said...

Pam Ward has finally sown its seed

Jarrett Carter said...

Candle Kolber if its a girl.

Stock Kolber if its a boy.

surt2k said...

Is Joe Namath drinking again?

Upstate Underdog said...

Koko Kolber ?

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

Fridgefullof Kolber?

twoeightnine said...

Is that the officially licensed Jets fallopian filler?

Ruthless Gravity said...

This has Travis Henry written all over it

Brando said...

Neckbeard Kolber-Orton.

Slash said...

Brady Kolber

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Colbert Kolber

Kim Su Yi would be hilarious if it's asian and a leeetle slow.

/here's to wishing mental handicaps on the unborn for a KSK joke.

fallex said...

Nice Saddle Kolber if its a girl

The Pirate Sloth said...

PK, Jr Kolber?


*shudder*

Collin F said...

Wikipedia says Kolber's 43. I know stranger things have happened, but how sure are we about this?

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Broadway Jeebuz of Blogereth

Mike said...

Drew.

Big Jim Slade said...

Squintin' Portis Kolber

Jackin'4Beats said...

Miss Mixalot Kolber

Franklin said...

@tech9 - Dude she is already 43. Wishing for mental handicaps on her child is a waste. Thats like me wishing for sunlight in Arizona tomorrow, its a given.

SlideShow Bob said...

No one has brought up that maybe the Golden Boy Tom Bady is involved. Not like hes always been a saint.

Pemulis said...

if it's a boy: Sex Cannon Jr., if it's a girl don't they throw it off a cliff or something?

Mr. F. Magoo said...

Construda Kolber

ben said...

Sex Cannon Kolber

Punch Rockgroin said...

Tony Kornheiser

mike said...

Throw it off a Cliff Kolber wins.

From the other side of town said...

Whatever, either sex, as long as the initials are K. S. Kolber

Tracer Bullet said...

After my wife got herself knocked up, I liked to say that she was hosting a parasite. That this is true from a physiological perspective didn't make her hate me any less.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls said...

Chris Berman. Chris Sperman?