Thursday, October 11, 2007

Kevin Everett Honorary Meast of the Week: National Coming Out Day Special HEYYYY

Today is 20th annual National Coming Out Day, in which "members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and tranny hooker communities and their supporters (often referred to as "allies" or, if you're the Dead Tree Crew, "FAGGOTS") show pride and wish for planets full of unicorns. It is highly encouraged for participants in this movement to wear identifying symbols, such as the pink triangle, Ravens jerseys, the Greek letter lambda and rainbows, in jewelry and on their clothing, to demonstrate their presence in all walks of life, all ages and all ethnic groups."

I know, I know. Hold off on the predictable jokes about Jeff Garcia and the Mannings for a sec, won't you, Tony Dungy? We're here to honor people like Ufford, possessed of homicidal rage but comfortable enough in their sexuality to wear pinstripe pants and pink shirts.

This week's Meast is Mike Sellers, who, despite having played in the CFL, is a killer of men, tamer of Lions, and also an accenter of beards. It's those small stylistic touches that nicely top off a measty two TD performance against Detroit. He also has several new tattoos on his left arm: three large "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" skulls accompanied by the words "Fear No Man," and a dark script of his nickname, "Dat Boy." See, Sellers doesn't fear the gays. Joe Gibbs and his band of parking lot degenerates could learn something.

15 comments:

Big Daddy Drew said...

I'm the one who wears pink shirts, dammit.

Russell K said...

I think Brett Favre should come out today. You know, as a football player who loves the game in a really gay way.

the great bambi said...

if that happened i bet peter king dresses up as a football for halloween and goes to Favre's door

Pemulis said...

My ambrosia salad has too many cherries

Ruthless Gravity said...

"Finally, don't overlook wide receiver Brandon Lloyd, whose hair is subtly sculpted into a round mound near the front. "


I always knew Brandon Lloyd had a pussy. This just confirms it.

kurt said...

where are the glengarry leads?

my degenerate gambling habit will not feed itself

brick said...

National coming out day and no mention of Bill Simmons reaction to TB's stetson adds?

Unsilent Majority said...

Kurt, it's coming tomorrow as always.

Unsilent Majority said...

and yeah, I'm gay for Mike Sellers

Phishisgr8 said...

"Today is 20th annual National Coming Out Day, in which "members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and tranny hooker communities and their supporters."

..Do what? WHAT DO THEY DO??? They don't rape straight, white males, do they? Oh God. I'm calling the wife to see if she'll walk me home.

Captain Caveman said...

+1 Pemulis.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Mike Sellers looks like he's about to rape and pillage in that picture. Hide the wife and kids people. That means you too Kenoy Kennedy.

dick_gozinia said...

Is it too obvious to ask to reuse the Ufford/Eli picture for this post?

naptown drew said...

I swear with all the gaiety in the post I read the last sentence as "Joe Gibbs and his band of parking lot degeneres could learn something."

Barry said...

"It fits him, a light-skinned guy," defensive lineman Phillip Daniels said. "A dark-skinned guy couldn't get away with that."

WTF? Light Skinned?