Welcome back for the Week 7 edition of Always Be Covering.
So it's the week every gambler dreads, the first week that he has to dip into his financial reserves. Personally, I took advantage of Drew's past generosity by cashing in a few of the barrybonds he got me last Christmas (I can overlook gentile gift-giving assuming said gift has hard cash value...or chocolate shaped money). Obviously I've been a bit reckless with some of my winnings (but I thought teasers always win) so it's time to tighten up, think conservatively, and just cover baby!
Let's do a fuckin' teaser instead, they never lose!
NY Giants -2.5 vs. San Francisco
Trent Dilfer? Check please.
Dallas -3.5 vs. Purple Jesus and Bald Judas
That's sweeter than Cowgirl pussy, and just as hairless.
Pittsburgh +2.5 at Denver
As if Shanny's boys didn't suck before, now Javon's knee is is getting cut up like a teenager's milky white thigh. You know what happens next, he'll refuse to part with the bloody bandage until he spends some time mourning his scar tissue in Vegas.
Washington -2 vs. Arizona
Joe Gibbs doesn't lose to Arizona at home...ever. For a quick injury report, let's check in with CBS Sportsline's fantasy update.
Cardinals QB Kurt Warner has settled on a combination of tape and a brace to hold his injured elbow in place and says he's feeling good about being able to play Sunday at Washington.
This isn't your run-of-the-mill bad idea, it's like the time MIT girl went to the airport wearing an imitation bomb as an art project. Only that girl didn't have her left forearm torn off by Andre Carter. What do you think Larry Fitz?
"Anytime you hear `tear,' that's not good...also I was told there would be crackers."
New England -17 at Miami
Have a good weekend, I know I will.