Joey Porter's alligator mouth writes check his hummingbird ass can't cover
"We will win on Sunday. We will win and that's it." - Joey Porter, 9/26/07
"You can make the mouth say anything, but there's 60 minutes of football that have to be played. It's tough when you run your mouth, boy. It's tough." - Warren Sapp, 9/30/07
Miami linebacker Joey Porter had guaranteed a win over the Raiders yesterday. Not only did the Dolphins get waxed 35-17, but the Raiders' B-team running backs hung 299 rushing yards on Porter, who could only manage four measly tackles.
Here's a prediction: the Dolphins, who gave Porter $20 million in guaranteed money, will soon be filled with buyer's remorse (if they aren't already). Porter needs to stick to what he knows, hiding behind his entourage while they jump a one-legged offensive lineman.
J-Peezy looking like a broke-dick Rico Tubbs.
16 comments:
Trent Green doesn't look all that great now does he...DOES HE YOU FUCKERS!!!!
- Daunte Culpepper
No doubt. I don't think Charles Bronson took that much vengeance in all the Death Wish movies combined.
Marge: That's not a leather muppet, that's Joey Porter. Mmm, back in
the early '00s he was quite a teen heartthrob.
Homer: Yeah, who'd have thought he'd turn out to be such a weirdo?
Marge: What are you talking about?
Homer: You know, his bizarre personal life. Those weird things they say he does down at the aquarium. Why I heard...
Marge: Oh, Homer, that's just an urban legend. People don't do that
type of thing with fish!
Michael Mann would like to re-imagine that photoshop.
Could photoshopped in just a little more jeri curl on Rico.
lots of hatred on the blog today. nice. i too have hatred in my heart today. then i think of winston justice and i feel better. i bet some pissed of philadelphian mails him a can of campel's soup with a knife thru it and a note thats says "You"
You're a Raider fan? Dammit!
Why is it when you get your hopes up in a person they always let you down?
"Gay? I wish! If I were gay they'd be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all costs."
With all due respect, Flubby, it's my duty as a Chiefs fan to tell you and the other pituitary cases in Raider Nation to kindly go fuck yourselves.
That said, I realize you've still got the Cryptkeeper in there as owner, so you're already halfway there. If anyone can find a way to mess up this decent start, it's the Strom Thurmond lookalike in the stylish windbreaker and Blu-Blocker shades.
Yeah, otto, hopefully the franchise will be able to recover once the old man is six-feet under.
Like that douchebag Derrick Thomas.
I was expecting a joke about one of our old coots. Crazy Hank Stram, with the bad toupee and "matriculate the ball" lingo, or maybe Marty Schottenfuhrer, with his patented "there's a gleam" inspirational speeches.
But you went after Derrick Thomas? That's cold.
If you'll excuse me, I have something in both my eyes.
How bout them Broncos?
how about fuck you sluggo.
Culpepper made $16M to play 4 shitty, sack-filled games for the Dolphins. Who was it who deserved "revenge"?
If Culpepper wasn't ready to play the full season last year, then the Dolphins should have done their homework and not signed him (Strike 1). It's their fault they signed him and they compounded that mistake by releasing him when he was healthy for Trent Green who missed most of last season with a concussion. Strikes 2 and 3 for the Fins. No wonder they suck.
this is a test to see --if Joey Porter is still a douchebag-- how to use HTML tags.
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