Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Kevin Everett GOULET! Meast of the Week -- Week 8: Halloween Advice Special

We're taking a one-week respite from honoring Kevin Everett's valiant recovery to remember a fallen hero: Robert Goulet. At least Will Ferrell is still alive.

This is a tale of four hot chicks I know. Two pairs of best friends, united in their desire for matching Halloween costumes.

Pair of hotties #1 are best friends from college. This past weekend they wore matching slutty eskimo costumes (AKA "sexkimo" or "eski-ho"). Basically, there was a lot of fur, short skirts, and cleavage. A couple people mistook them for Mrs. Claus costumes, but really: who gives a shit what they are? They're obviously costumes of some sort, and the goods are on display. That's really all I'm askin' for.

Pair of hotties #2 work together in the fashion industry. They look down on the dumb sluts they work with, and every year put together a creative team costume that everyone thinks is really cool and no one thinks is really sexy. Last year the big hit was Wayne and Garth, which worked frighteningly well because one of them is blonde and the other's brunette. Keeping with the trend of '90s phenomena that don't need to be relived, this year they dressed as Beavis and Butt-Head.

Ordinarily, there's a little chunk of the male brain that's interested in bright women with original ideas. Halloween is that little chunk's day off. So, hot girls, take a memo: I don't give a shit unless you're showing it off. I mean, these are two prime pieces of tail -- one of whom has gigantic boobs -- and they're covering it all up to dress like dudes. Well, I can't masturbate to dudes, so until you find some trashy heels and something that gives your father a sleepless night, go to hell.


This week's Meast is Antonio Cromartie. He scored two touchdowns in the Chargers' blowout -- one on a muffed snap on special teams, the other a pick-6. Also, after drinking three Gatorades and a case of Miller High Life, he extinguished two acres of burning underbrush in San Diego County with his mighty hose.

22 comments:

Upstate Underdog said...

no pics of pair #1 ?

Captain Caveman said...

I can take commenter abuse, but there's no way in hell I'm subjecting my friends/love interests to you jackals.

Pemulis said...

cocktease

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

@CC:

"friends/love interests"

Does this mean WL will be a much more romantic blog from now on?

Jackin'4Beats said...

And by jackals I'm sure you mean pussybaskets.

I'm sure this group of upstanding gentlemen would NEVER...EVER make lewd comments about your friends/"love interests" CC.

Now show us some tits.

Upstate Underdog said...

not CC's firend, but a sexy eskimo none the less.


http://www.halloweencostumesonline.com/Merchant2/images/ESKIMO-KISSES-ADULT-MEDIUM_ur28785.jpg

allie said...

so if I don't wear something slutty enough, fine gentlemen such as yourself won't jerk off thinking about me in a slutty little bo peep outfit?

shit. I've clearly been approaching halloween all wrong.

Upstate Underdog said...

and another

http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/31246.jpg

The Pirate Sloth said...

Not on Halloween Allie, but for the other 364 days of the year, you're prime material.

twoeightnine said...

No, I'll just jerk off thinking about you naked. Why would I imagine a costume?

mind... said...

do you really know four hot chicks?

Captain Caveman said...

Oh, Allie! Dressed conservatively AND humorless? How can I NOT masturbate to you?

Captain Caveman said...

@ mind: Oh, you caught me! I never leave my parents' basement!

Jackin'4Beats said...

Allie - post a picture of yourself in the little bo peep outfit then we'll talk about the mental imagery.

@upstate underdog: me likes the chick in the costume. I agree with 289 - I don't even see her eskimo costume.

Ken Dynamo said...

oh yeah, im sure you really "know" 4 hot chicks. like more than one. with big tits. really, FOUR??? sounds like hot ass big titted girlfriend i 'had' for years, but doesnt live around here anymore, because she moved to canada. and then died.

BeaverFever said...

of course CC knows 4 hot chicks. hot chicks love to hang out with gay dudes.

lost said...

I can take commenter abuse, but

I think the idea is for the commenters to abuse themselves, not you or the girl your stalking.

big skinny said...

Bravo to Mr. Cromartie for doing his parts with the disaster in SoCal. And for drinking the High Life!

allie said...

heh, for the record, my last four halloween costumes have been slutty dorothy, slutty tooth fairy, puss in boots and a fairly trampy purple dragon.

and rest assured, it was all to provide you with masturbatory material :)

J.L. White said...

Hey, you wouldn't let a clown fix the leak in the john....unless that was the theme to his Halloween costume, of course.

Hey, is there any way we can get more white actors to over-emphasize the N-word when they're covering rap songs a capella? That was a rare treat.

Goulet.

Christmas Ape said...

Vera said that?

Mike said...

Robert Goulet is from Massachusetts.

You're welcome.