Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Yo Cabron, chinga tu madre!

To make further inroads into the burgeoning Spanish-language market (as well as to nominally celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month) you may have noticed that the NFL and NBC made a few minor tweaks to Sunday night's Bears-Cowboys ass-kicking.

The graphics would occasionally refer to the Cowboys as the "Vaqueros" and the Bears as the "Osos" and Terrell Owens as "pendejo." The halftime entertainment may or may not have featured 90's retread Gloria Estefan and AAA-radio (yaaaaawn) favorite Ozomatli. I wouldn't know because I was watching Family Guy's Star Wars tribute by that point. In any event, none of these changes seemed particularly troublesome or even noteworthy for that matter.

But then there's this guy...

"I DON'T KNOW IF WE OWN ANYTHING IN THIS COUNTRY ANYMORE!"

I'm not sure who the "we" that T.J. Douchemanzadeh here is referring to-- but at the very least, "they" still own that redneck sleeveless t-shirt and no one will ever take that away.

Look, life can vexing at times. Your car breaks down at the most inopportune of times. Your boss is whipping your ass for no reason. Your favorite porn star suddenly OD's. But the key to living to see next Sunday's games is taking it all in stride. Hopefully this guy will realize that before he gives himself an apoplexy.

Actually, I do have one small complaint about NBC's coverage: the WWF long ago conditioned me to believe that once the Spanish-language broadcast team is acknowledged on-screen, someone will soon be thrown through their table, sending TV monitors flying while babbling announcers scramble for their lives. Think about it. Wouldn't the best way to finish off Rex Grossman's career as a starter have been to let Brian Urlacher snap and deliver the flying elbow while Raul Allegre screams "DIOS MIO!!! EL JEFE MUY LOCO! DONDE ESTA MI TEQUILA???"

20 comments:

Big Daddy Drew said...

Is that Bobby Slayton?

Christmas Ape said...

As Cerveceros is much cool than Brewers.

Hustler of Culture said...

Yeah sorry man, the Kid from Brooklan has been doing this bit for about 3 years

Upstate Underdog said...

This guy definitely won't let his kids watch Dora or Diego.

Also, as long as I keep getting Univision to beat off to all the hot Latin chicks on that channel I don't care what the NFL does in Spanish.

dick_gozinia said...

Did he cum at the end of it? What was with the 15 second moaning/sighing end of that clip?

Ben said...

He is on Queens Public Television. Caught one of these rants flipping channels once.

http://drinkingwithbob.com/about.html

pretty terrible

Illegal Immigrant said...

mwahahahahahahaha

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

....It has begun. Your country is ours!

Oh, no...wait a minute. Yea, no. We just still work for you.

Dammit.

Otto Man said...

"Immigants! Even when it was the bears, I knew it was them!"

The irony here is that when that guy suffers his inevitable stroke, heart attack and/or loss of bladder function, he's going to wind up at a Queens hospital staffed by a great big bunch of furriners.

Suck it, John Rocker.

Chamomiles Davis said...

"This country is being taken away from us, bit by bit, piece by piece!"

Native American: "How does it feel, asshole?"

Calm down, wifebeater guy. Have some tequila.

Chamomiles Davis said...

The idiots yelping in agreement with this guy on YouTube makes me weep for this country.

Pemulis said...

is mike vick going to have to make a surprise comeback on here?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3037175

ben said...

jesus... hope his wife never makes tacos for dinner.

It's fucknuts like these that make me wanna welcome our new latino overloards.

Matt said...

TJ Douchemanzadeh.

Priceless, flub.

SDW said...

All your football broadcast are belong to us.

Wormfather said...

This is ouuuuuuuuur country

Jackin'4Beats said...

It's fucknuts like these that make me wanna welcome our new latino overloards

I second that statement, but they've got to dress like this before I call them MY overlord.

The Pirate Sloth said...

I bet his neighbors must hate him when he does these idiotic rants.

Sam said...

That guy describes his humor as "MAD TV esq."... First of all, I think he means -esque, as in douchesque, but whatever. The real problem is that no one, I repeat, NO ONE, should ever try to promote themselves by comparing their comedy to MAD TV.

DigitalHeadbutt said...

"Look, life can vexing at times. Your car breaks down at the most inopportune of times. Your boss is whipping your ass for no reason. Your favorite porn star suddenly OD's."

"And then you come home to the news that your wife just left you for a drummer!"

When did KSK become a Lou Holtz pep talk?

Jackin'4Beats said...

...and then...

...

...

...

he had a stroke.

What a fuckin' weirdo. Maybe "we" can sell the rest of the country so that pussybaskets like this can just go ahead and off themselves.