Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Death Of Rex Grossman



And... that'll be all for the Sex Cannon. It made sense to lionize our friend Rex Grossman back when he threw up the occasional 3 TD game. Unfortunately Sexy Rexy is, in reality, just another shit QB. So take care, Cumslinger. It was fun while it lasted. But I think we're all looking for something a bit more stable now.

But could there be another potential Sex Cannon on the Bears roster?


Well, I'll be damned.

20 comments:

dick_gozinia said...

When do the shirts go half-price?

Big Daddy Drew said...

We're doubling the price. They're retro now.

J said...

as a bears fan, i'm beyond relieved...

as a sex cannon fan, i'm absolutely devastated

dick_gozinia said...

Shit. I'm always on the wrong side of the market.

Dale said...

I'd like to submit that the new sex cannon be Derek Anderson.

He has at least two of the qualities that made Rex the sex cannon:

1. An unnatural love of dangerous, orgasmic downfield throws (and the corresponding hatred of dumpoffs / touch)

2. A shelf-life

The Pirate Sloth said...

There'll be a Sex Cannon resurrection in a year on another team like Buffalo or the Chiefs or maybe the Bucs or Falcons.

He's like Jesus. Only the faithful will be shown the way...

to his cock.

Weed Against Speed said...

Can the Vikings work out a trade for him?

Big Jim Slade said...

He's like Jesus

I dunno, Jesus had 11 guys who actually respected him...

dick_gozinia said...

There have been reports around these parts that the Bears might outright release "el cannon".

At least that means we're one torn ACL away from the resurrection of Kyle "neckbeard the pirate" Orton. Because, Griese's not nearly as interesting as either one of those drunks.

Awful Chief said...

Somewhere a headline writer is weeping for not unleashing "Ocho Stinko" when he had the chance.

Upstate Underdog said...

the CFL awaits the arrival of the Sex Cannon.

QWIJIBO said...

There's no replacing the Sex Cannon. Sure there will be Son of Sex Cannon, Sex Cannon in Space, or Sex Cannon X. The Sex Cannon will probably end up in Canada or Europe, where we can continue to follow his sexy adventures. iViva el Cannon de Sexo!

Hugh McSnatchercraft said...

Anderson would be a good Cannon 2.0 doesn't do it with the same flair and arrogance.

i say trade him to the packers. they know what to do with a QB who chucks it downfield with reckless abandon. and fat chicks need lovin too.

Jackin'4Beats said...

I can see it now...Rex winds up on the Dolphins after Trent Green gets pummeled into the turf again and unleashes the dragon on the AFC East and all those tasty specimens on South Beach.

And by specimens, I mean women and men that spend too much time in front of the mirror.

Irish Duffy98 said...

Can you make a version of the sex cannon shirt where the cannon is propped up by a bench?

BlueAndGoldBuckeye said...

@ jackin'4beats

Wait...You mean like Jason Taylor?

Swolestice said...

Orton = Sex Cannon 2.0?

Happy Fun Miles said...

The Sex Cannon will never die, and I'll still wear my Sex Cannon t-shirt every sunday.

Wormfather said...

Ladies and gents the Sex Cannon is on the move!

Jackin'4Beats said...

@BlueAndGoldBuckeye

You got it. I DON'T want to imagine that romp in the sack however.