Thursday, September 13, 2007

BOOM, BITCH!!!


Bob Glauber is reporting that Bill Belichick has been fined $500,000 and the Patriots will lose a first-round pick in the 2008 draft. It could be only a second or and third-round pick if the Pats miss the playoffs. Fat chance of that, as the Patriots will now play pissed off for the rest of the season. A suspension would have been nice, but still-- it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

33 comments:

Michael said...

Am I the only one that thinks calling him 'belicheat' is arguably the lamest "Let's make a play on words with the guilty party's name that reflects the injustice they were responsible for" dig ever?


Or I could be bitter because the first person I heard utter this moniker was Colin Cowherd. You chose.

Pagoda said...

I was always a fan of Helidick, personally.

Shan said...

DAMN!

i wish i could get fined $500,000 and afford it.

Doug H. said...

I always preferred 'Mumbles'.

OD said...

Mumbles implies that he speaks alot, he's just hard to understand. He's more of a Johnny Tightlips.

Jay said...

I like the name Nicky Elbows because it sounds so descriptive, yet means absolutely nothing.

Wormfather said...

From Costas NOW this week.

"They can have a dialog with Goodell. Goodell will listen and will try to be responsive."

-Rodger Goodell

I dont fuck with powerfull white men who speak in the third person. "Boom Bitch" is about what I'd expect out of him.

xdamousex@gmail.com said...

Bill Belichick would like to remind everyone that they cannot handle the truth

bizzo5000 said...

If the the NFL really wants to punish Bill "Nicky Santoro" Belichick, they would make him wear a suit on the sideline. It would be like sunlight to a Gremlin.

Otto Man said...

This is nothing. Just wait until they find out about the cameras he installed in the women's bathrooms.

peytonloveskenny said...

I think there should have been a harsher punishment. Of course I wouldn't be satisfied until they were kicked out of the league and Belichick and Tom Brady were run over by a bus, so I'm probably the wrong person to ask.

twoeightnine said...

Kraft’s fine amounted to .00025 of his fortune. That’s like fining me $3.50 on what Ufford pays me.

No suspension = no lesson learned.

The Pirate Sloth said...

Does this mean I have to root for the Pats this year to make the playoffs just so I can see them lose a first round draft pick?

That would really be uncomfortable for 16 more fucking weeks.

David said...

This just doesn't seem like much of a punishment to me. Did I misunderstand the whole "cheating is wrong" thing? I know that kindergarten was hard for me, but it was mostly the shoe-tying thing. I thought I did okay on my pre-recess ethics classes.

N.J.G said...

speaking of punishment did anyone else find it funny that ray lewis' brother majored in criminal justice?

Weed Against Speed said...

What hasn't been reported is Belichick also has to teach Goodell his "move". Bill finishes with a clockwise swirl but I have a feeling Goodell might choose to finish with a knuckle.

Ken Dynamo said...

the fine on the pats is a joke. goodell didnt want to piss off kraft since he is an owner and therefore his boss. the draft picks hurts much worse.

the fine on belichick is great tho. even if hes taking home 4 mil gross pre tax, that 500K represents $12,500 to someone making 100,000 pre tax.

thats a lot of money to piss down the toilet.

Mr. Johnson said...

I'm all for "Lil Parcells" getting busted, but I have some questions. Will the Pat(sies) lose cap space with the draft pick (have the amount count towards the cap)? And how pissed is Wade Wilson right now? 5 games for PEDs (for quality of life) vs. no games for violating rules repeatedly? Hell, the Pats should have to forfeit the game and Belicheat should be gone for at least 6 games..and lose the 2nd and 3rd. rounders.

James said...

The Pats had two first round draft picks. Now they only have one, boo hoo. The punishment is a joke and will only turn into momentum for them if they continue doing well this season.

"See, no video camera and they're still good!!!111one"

Big Daddy Drew said...

The only good nickname for Belichick is MILF Hunter

Wormfather said...

Yeah, as of last night I was ok with the punishment, but now that I think about it some more, it's total BS. Wade, Pacman, Vick all suspended, what they did did not directly impact any actuall game what Mr. www.exploitedmoms.com (NSF ANYTHING) did was explicit cheating, that be like me making it to third base and my fiancee saying, ok, I've thought about it, I'm punishing you with no sex for one weekend or weekdays if it turns out I've got my period. Oh and you also have to take me out to dinner.

FUCK. THAT.

Steve said...

Bitch, I don't give a fuck about draft picks!

I just donkey-punched lady justice in the back of my truck!

devang said...

If you thought Pats fans were whiny arrogant douchelickers until now, you ain't seen nothing yet. The holier-than-thou charge will be led by none other than the Sports Douche in his column today. My feelings for him (not that anyone gives a flying fuck) can be summed up from a Guns 'n Roses line: "I used to love her, but I had to kill her..."

I hope Merriman goes Theismann on Brady this weekend.


/end rant

Christopher said...

Anyone who said "they have two first round picks, this is no punishment" is a whiny little bitch. Since when does a punishment have anything to do with the relative success of the offender? Never, fuckers, thats when. Considering a first round pick could mean an LT, a Carson Palmer, Peyton Manning, etc, I think the punishment was too harsh.

Christopher said...

Also, with the rest of the league (see: Tomlinson, L) opening their mouths even before we play them, and intelligent people in the media talking like morons (see: Wilbon, M)the net effect of this story will be the Pats kicking everyone ass for the whole season.

You asked for it.

Wormfather said...

@Devang

You forgot "The horrible event of Kevin Everett's injury notwithstanding..."

Eg. The horrible event of Kevin Everett's injury notwithstanding...I hope that christopher (bitches dont get capital letters) get his anus broken by a boar.

SDW said...

Pats fans are tools (see: topher, chris).

Christopher said...

Oh, Burn! Damn, I guess I have to be quiet, because you insulted me by calling me something that was a fashionable diss like ten years ago. Who cares about actually responding to my argument, because everyone knows that Pats fans are tools! Burn!

Dreamboat Baby said...

People please. This is one simple misunderstanding. The Jets gave their signals to Father as a "Congratulations" for breeding genetic perfection. What, your dad only got a cigar when you were born? How awkward for you.

SDW said...

Actually, christopher, it was a blanket statement about all Pats fans. I'd say it holds up rather well through the sands of time.

Especially when you're throwing around insults like confetti.

Patriots Fans: The Yankee Fans of the NFL.

twoeightnine said...

Considering a first round pick could mean an LT, a Carson Palmer, Peyton Manning, etc, I think the punishment was too harsh.

So you're saying that the Pats are going to finish with one of the worst records in the league? That's 2 #1 picks and a #2 not a 28-32 like the Pats are actually going to get.

peytonloveskenny said...

And a sixth round pick could be a Tom Brady, so clearly that would also be too harsh.

fallex said...

I love this from the cuffless one's post-punishment comment:

"We have never used sideline video to obtain a competitive advantage while the game was in progress."

What did you use it for? Blackmail? Stroke material? Was the videographer earning class credit?