Friday, September 14, 2007

KsK Kares Koughs Up A Kashkakke


The final tally is in from our KsK Kares Charity Drive:

The total donations raised for Fisher House: $1,565. It just goes to prove: KSK is here for the children. We're not just here for the dick jokes, people. We're here to give back to the community, and then to brag about just how much we gave back in order to justify being total fucking dicks. I feel great!

39 of you donated, which averages out to about $40 a donation. Jesus, you people are loaded. Why can't you give ME any of that money? Huggies are never discounted at Giant, god dammit. Everyday low prices, my ass.

So take pride, you charitable souls, and spend this weekend celebrating yourselves. Drink 1,565 beers. Eat 1,565 flautas. Beat up 1,565 Patriot fans. Write a 1,565-word epic poem about yourself in the original Latin (mine is called The Drewterralogue). Spend 1,565 seconds giving your loved one oral pleasure. Dial 1-565-156-5156 and harass whoever's on the other end. Refresh your NFL GameCenter 1,565 times. Spend $15.65 in takeout money. You could get three chicken finger subs instead of just one, fatty! Call your mother and give her a 1,565-word diatribe about how she doesn't appreciate you enough.

$1,565. Nicely done, people. Here's a cheerleader in lingerie. You should tell her about just how giving you are. Maybe she'll acknowledge you presence for longer than 1.565 seconds.

QUICK PROGRAMMING NOTE: I'll be on WCCO Radio in Minneapolis this evening at 10:10 Central Time. You can listen here. if you so choose. I will not be sober.

UPDATE: Oops. Interview postponed to Monday.

24 comments:

Pemulis said...

i posted this in the other post, but its too good not to post here in this new one. celebrate your generosity by having a lemon party

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9shrf3s5Wgo

again, kinda nsfanything?

Big Daddy Drew said...

God, why did I watch that?

/hits self

Shan said...

im so watching that when i get home from work

devang said...

@shan

I don't think you want to. Google a picture of lemon party, and you'll understand.

Upstate Underdog said...

I asked in the previous post, I'll ask again, "why, pemulis, why ?"

I need 1,565 cheerleader posts to make up for watching that.

denvergodfather said...

fucking pemulis. fuck

Pagoda said...

Pemulis, you are one disgusting dude. The hideousness of that video will haunt my dreams forever.

Big Daddy Drew said...

I clearly knew better, yet I still watched it. I'm a fucking retard.

Pemulis said...

the weirdest part is that the dudes kissing even look like the dudes on the actual site. .. i think. i havent been there in like an hour

Upstate Underdog said...

I too knew better, it is like when my wife tells me the milk went bad and I smell it any way. I blame my-self more then Pemulis.

The Pirate Sloth said...

I am going to be strong and resist the urge to go to that link.


Besides, I don't think the old women sitting in the seats near me at the Atl airport would appreciate a lemon party. They'd think it was scandalous.

PS: Chick-fil-a is the fucking bomb, in case you did not know that. Yes, I just ate some.

Upstate Underdog said...

Chik-fil-A kicks much ass. It also seems like the only time I get to eat it is when I'm in the ATL airport.

I hate you and all others eating chick-fil-a right now becuase I'm not.

The Last Unitard said...

I'm glad I already knew what that was, and didn't look.

Don't ask how I already knew what that was.

Drew, Purple Jesus thinks your faith is weak. 250 is more like it.

Go Vikes!

twoeightnine said...

Google a picture of Lemon Party? You're searching for more images like that?

I for one can't wait for Drew and Adrian's Purple Party.

Five Pound Bag said...

1.565 seconds is about twice as long as I'd last with her. I'm like the anti-Wade Wilson.

Saberrox said...

Lemon Party. Never seen it, never will. That was one of the sites smart asses told people to go to in high school and laughed their asses off the next day when the victim tracked them down and started yelling at them. Right up there with tubgirl and Pen Island.com.

twoeightnine said...

Oh no! They yelled at them!

Pemulis said...

no girls invited, its time to get excited!

Saberrox said...

Oh no! They yelled at them!

Not much else you can do when you get owned in that fashion...

mamacita said...

1500 bucks and all we get is lingerie? For that we expect naked Brazilian cheerleaders. Or, for my $30, maybe some more breadwich belly.

mamacita said...

And poor Baby Drew, if only her daddy didn't spend all his money on liquor and gambling, maybe she wouldn't have to wear the diapers with the fake Daffy Duck on them.

Kenny O said...

SUNDAY NFL PICKS ARE IN!!!
CHECK THEM OUT!
http://mysportpicks.blogspot.com

thanks
kennyo

Jay said...

Your picks are bad and you should feel bad.

By the way, what the hell is "Kashkakke" supposed to be? I feel like I'm missing something really obvious, and I feel stupider because of it.

Drizztdj said...

Drew, are you ever on KFAN?

Tonight was THE worse Vikes game I've ever seen in 20 years of being a fan.

Why the playbook wasn't Screen pass to Purple Jesus all night is beyond comprehension