Thursday, September 20, 2007

Give Me A F--king Break



This merits a flag and a fine? Eat a dick, NFL. Maybe if you let us have some fun once in a while, we wouldn't be so rebellious. Maybe we wouldn't drink so much during the games, or leer creepily at the cheerleaders. Maybe we wouldn't sneak out to secret barn dances with Kevin Bacon. Maybe we would have embraced Mormonism instead of doubting Father Young’s teachings. Maybe we wouldn’t date musicians even though we know they’re bad for us. Maybe we wouldn’t have quit the ASU cheerleading squad for a career in hardcore bondage porn. Maybe we wouldn’t have this terrible meth addiction. Maybe we wouldn’t have run away with Francisco to Portugal. Maybe we wouldn’t have had to have so many abortions. Maybe we wouldn’t have joined the Coast Guard. Maybe we wouldn’t have gone on tour with Trixter.

Let us have some fucking fun, for God’s sake. Is that too much to ask?

22 comments:

Wormfather said...

Maybe the fine was because it was boring?

Jay said...

The only celebrations that players should get fined for are ones that try to be funny or effective but fail - i.e. Chad Johnson declaring himself a future Hoff. Shit like that should be rewarded, say with a free field goal card to be redeemed whenever. Now that would make for an interesting Super Bowl - Dallas up 22-20 when Ray Lewis plays the field goal card and millions of Cowboys commit suicide when it's good.

The Last Unitard said...

That's 30 yards and loss of down, Drew.

And tuck in that fucking shirt, you slob.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

fucking Trixter

Big Daddy Drew said...

Well played, unitard. Well played.

BeaverFever said...

"Give Me A F--king Break". wasn't that a sitcom from the 80's starring Nell Carter?

Hustler of Culture said...

So the celebration was stupid and pointless. If it wasn't TO and the Cowboys I might be against it...but since it is....FUCK the cowgirls

ColeTrain said...

What the fuck was he doing, reeling in a fish/dolphin?

Camp Tiger Claw said...

I believe his was simulating scraping the last bits of delicious muffin batter out of the football.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Hustler of Culture is clearly a bitter Eagles fan. It's OK, your team won't go 0-16 this season...

...but it will be fun watching them try.

Muhahahahaha

lieutenant winslow said...

for a guy whose father ran for senate in ny in 1970 with campaign signs that read "re-elect goodell" when in fact he had never actually been "elected" to the senate in the first place, i guess just expected a little more leniency

mamacita said...

Maybe we wouldn't write smutty blogs. Maybe we wouldn't poop on towels.

The Last Dragon said...

Far be from me to defend TO. But this fucking moronic. The NFL is like a bunch of communists. Stupid bastards.

Hustler of Culture said...

Eagles fan? Eagles fan!!!???!?!? You must be new.

Skins fan since birth.

Vanilla said...

@hustler: Since Birth? Really? You know we all came out covered in that maroon colored crap, some of us just wiped it off and moved on.

Hustler of Culture said...

Damn right since birth. Just like my un-born child (due in a month) already has a Skin's jersey and other Skin's stuff waiting for it.

But fine, I'll admit that it was a good line about the "maroon colored crap"

Jackin'4Beats said...

Skins fan? Hmmm...

...Not much better...but at least your team has several rings unlike the Iggles.

It will be fun watching Romo throw for 300+ yards and 4 TDs against the skins on 11/18.

Hustler of Culture said...

At least we agree that anything is better than being an Eagles fan...

twoeightnine said...

This week he should pay tribute to Coach Wilson. Have a teammate stick him in the ass with the football and then get an erection with the pylon. I mean check his blood-sugar levels.

Chris said...

Eighteen years from now your girl will be morale gear for a Coastie.

Zodiac said...

This is what happens when a sport tries to be "family oriented". Go to a soccer game in Europe and you'll see what I mean...

Then again, going to a Bills game is like a lesson in hedonism. Still, there is much that can be improved upon.

Jedd said...

US Coast Guard; making Navy kids cuter since 1790.