Though the matchup this Monday night hardly seems in doubt, what with Rudi Johnson ruled out and the Bengals' defensive unit only showing up as a formality, if at all. That doesn't mean we can't comment on this special showdown of intransigent receivers. So, America, WHO YA GOT?
Chad Johnson__________________Randy Moss
442 yds., three TDs_______________403 yds., five TDs
HUGH!________________Straight cash, homie
Alienates fans by:
Importing Spanish, however incorrect, in his nickname, Ocho AMERICA ZERO!____________Slacking off
Sympathetic to Kevin Curtis' struggle?
Inspires lyrics from:
Favorite hipster FroYo chain
Leapt into Dawg Pound_______________Played for Raiders
A horse_________________His demons
Whatever it is, it'll be covered exhaustively by ESPN______Same amount of coverage, just with more scolding