I had this "Christ, I hate Christmas shopping" rant cooking for this week's Meast, but it kept stalling right around the time I argued that I shouldn't have to buy my brother-in-law a gift because he gets to have sex with my sister.
It wasn't exactly brimming with Christmas cheer.
That rant stalled for a reason: my heart wasn't in it. Truth is, I love Christmas. Christmas is the tits and ass of holidays. I love the first snowfalls of the year, I love the ubiquitous smell of pine, I even love Christmas music. George Winston's "December" and a cozy fire in my fireplace give me a throbbing Yule log of a boner. Throw in the opportunity to drink hot booze -- Apple Jack, Irish coffee, Mexican coffee, hot buttered rum, hot toddies, microwaved beer, whatever -- and I'm almost in a good enough mood to give a freezing bum some spare change.
And you know what else? I truly like spending time with my family. Those people are okay. Especially when we're all tore up on hot booze and giving each other gifts. And sometimes those gifts are MORE booze! What a time to be alive!
Last year my parents got me a video iPod and a bottle of scotch. The scotch was gone in two weeks, but porn on your iPod is forever. And people try to tell me Christmas is more fun as a kid. Fuck that. I was sober all growing up.
So happy holidays, KSKers. All of you readers are like family in a way, from the drunk uncles to the cool guy dating some distant relative to the retarded nephews to the sexy cousin who you know you shouldn't be attracted to, but c'mon, you only see her like every other year, and it barely even feels like you're related at all.
...or so I'd imagine.
In keeping with the holiday theme, this week's Meast is Sage Rosenfels. He completed 75% of his passes and had 3 TDs and no picks in an impressive win over the... Bucs, if I remember correctly (last Sunday seems like a long time ago).
Was he really the meastiest guy on the field last week? Probably not, *COUGH* Patrick Kerney *COUGH* but the guy rose to the occasion during Hannukkah or Chanooka or however Sage's people are spelling it this year, and we thought we'd give him the nod to honor the holiday spirit of things.
Also, Unsilent Majority wanted a Jew to win. Here ya go, Maj. Merry Christmas.