Monday, December 10, 2007

Celebration Day: Zeppelin on stage, MNF

Only one of these beloved dinosaurs is getting boatloads of cash from the NFL & ESPN

Led Zeppelin's transcontinental renaissance kicks into high gear with their reunion concert tonight in London. While over on our side of the ocean, Zeppelin has inked a promotional deal with the NFL and ESPN. Which explains why you heard “Dazed and Confused” in the background on last Monday night while the referees were ass-raping the Ravens' defense with gusto.

When Unsilent Majority heard about Zeppelin's deal he expressed unbridled optimism that this arrangement might lead to to the band playing at half-time of the Super Bowl. Since Maj is the wide-eyed naif of our collective, he doesn't understand that Led Zeppelin doesn't play half-time shows. If anything, the Super Bowl should be played at intermission of a Led Zeppelin show.

The six of us put our heads together to predict what Zep tunes our favorite NFL personalties would request. We know, you're thinking, “great, another crappy list post.” But it was either this or I break out my theramin while Drew dons his unbuttoned half-shirt ala Robert Plant. NOW CRANK IT UP, FUCKERS!!!

Minnesota Vikings ______________________ Going to California

Trent Green _______________________ Dazed and Confused

Bill Belichick _____________________________ No Quarter

Travis Henry _______________________________ Moby Dick

Jason Campbell's mom _________________ Black Country Woman

Sterling Sharpe /John Madden _________________ Ramble On

Devin Hester _______________________ How Many More Times

Bart Scott _________________ Nobody's Everyone's Fault But Mine

Andre Gurode _____________________ Trampled Under Foot

Albert Haynesworth ______ Bron-Y-Aur Stomp (Ha-Y-Nes Worth Stomp?)

Cam Cameron ________________________ The (Cleo) Lemon Song

Vinny Testeverde _______________________ Achilles Last Stand

Jeff Garcia ________________________ In Through the Out Door

New Orleans Saints _________________ When the Levee Breaks (ouch)

Tony Romo's Mom ________________________ Living Loving Maid

Gene Upshaw _________ Black Dog (submitted by Bryant Gumbel)

Michael Irvin ________________________ Hats Off to (Alvin) Harper

Kurt Warner ___________________________ Houses of the Holy

Earl Campbell _________________________ Wearing and Tearing

Travis Johnson ___________________________ You Shook Me

Donovan McNabb ___________________________ Sick Again

Rex Ryan _____________________ Communication Breakdown

Chad Johnson ____________________________ Dancing Days

Rex Grossman/Kyle Orton__What Is And What Should Never Be (nice jinx, Punter)

Joe Gibbs ______________________ How Many More Time(out)s

Elisha Manning ____________________________ She's Just a Woman

Sav Rocca________________________________ Immigrant Song

Patriots, Dolphins ____________________ Good Times, Bad Times

Heinz Field _______________________________ The Rain Song

Shawne Merriman _________Physical Graffiti


Andy Reid _________________________________ Custard Pie

Bill Parcells __________________________ Babe I'm Gonna Leave You

Marvin Lewis __________________________ Hey Hey What Can I Do

Jon Kitna ____________________________ Stairway to Heaven

Al Davis ___________________________ In My Time of Dying

NBC's 'green' coverage producers___________________ Ozone Baby

Kevin Kolb __________________________ Your Time Is Gonna Come

Aikman appears to have a large faggot on his back. Hmmmm......

Usually, this is the part where we invite the commenters to add their own suggestions. But we have already RAWKED THEIR FACES OFF !!!!
(Makes metal fingers \m/ \m/ bangs head).

57 comments:

Chamomiles Davis said...

Brian Billick - Fool In The Rain

Dave said...

"Tony Romo's Mom ________________________ Living Loving Maid"

if I were epileptic, I definitely would've seizured so hard my tongue would be lodged firmly in my throat.

Upstate Underdog said...

Chad Johnson_________Hot Dog

MemphisRaines said...

Cincinnati Bengals - Traveling Riverside Blues?

Zachary said...

Sean Taylor......Another One Bites the Dust (RIP)

Chamomiles Davis said...

Peter King - All My Love

Captain Caveman said...

I'm going to pretend Zachary didn't just put a Queen song in the comments.

Raskolnikov said...

TJ Houshmandzadeh - Kashmir

Gourmet Spud said...

Wow. Now that's a thorough list.

Out on the Tiles ______Ricky Hatton

Chamomiles Davis said...

Eagles - Heartbreaker

Big Daddy Drew said...

FedEx Field - Over The Hills And Faw Away

Gourmet Spud said...

The Other (former) A.M. Jumpers_________D.J. Gallo's Pole

Big Daddy Drew said...

-100 to zachary

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

I think Pacman is the obvious choice for Fool in the Rain.

Chamomiles Davis said...

LenDale White - Moby Dick

Gourmet Spud said...

The Rex Grossman/Kyle Orton one was just genius.

Chamomiles Davis said...

I was going to suggest "Kevin Everett - 'I'm Gonna Crawl'" but a.) That's no longer relevant and b.) I don't want to go to Hell.

Raskolnikov said...

Rae Carruth - (More than) Ten Years Gone

Gourmet Spud said...

And -100 to me for being the idiot who couldn't stick within NFL boundaries. I'll go now.

Upstate Underdog said...

@spud, at least Out on the tiles is a LZ song.

TattooedMess(iah) said...

Wow, a theramin reference. Trent Reznor also approves.

Wasted Talent said...

Peyton Manning (as sung to his beloved Kenny) _______ I Can't Quit You Baby

Barry said...

Jason Taylor - Babe I'm gonna leave you

devang said...

Mike Holmgren - Four (Drum)Sticks

jeremy said...

Travis Henry - Whole Lotta Love

devang said...

Bill Belichick - The Song Remains the Same

Pemulis said...

Albert Haynesworth - Trampled Under Foot

Rob I said...

Ooh ooh now do one for the Barenaked Ladies!

KC Cal said...

Tommy Maddox - Poor Tom

John John The Bastard said...

@tattooedmess(iah): As does Angelo Moore.

Christopher said...

The entire group of Whiny Baltimore Defenders--------Ramble On

dusty said...

Laurence Maroney_________The Crunge

Matt Leinart______The Wanton Song

Ricky Williams______Misty Mountain Hop/D'yer Mak'er

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

Baltimore Colts - Baby I Gotta Move

LiarLidimew said...

Vinny Testavitis______ Ten Years Gone

Mike Vick______ No Quarter

Spud Randall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spud Randall said...

New Orleans --- When the Levee Breaks? I don't get it.

Terry Glenn --- Battle for Evermore

Hank said...

@Spud - New Orleans is surrounded by levees. During Katrina, they failed and flooded the city.

Spud Randall said...

Ok, but isn't that song about Chicago? And who is Katrina?

H Cuz said...

David Carr -- Trampled Underfoot

Ricky said...

Suzy Kolber _____ The Only Reason Men Talk To You Is Because They Want To Get Laid, You Stupid Fucking Cunt

Wait, that's Anal Cunt.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Emmitt Smith wants to know why those Led Emblems guys are singing about Koooolaid Muroney in their song "whole lotta nub"?

pain-ther fan said...

What no Michael Vick prison-sex post yet. C'mon guys, it's been like, 6 hours. LZ rocks

JAMMQ said...

But it was either this or I break out my theramin while Drew dons his unbuttoned half-shirt ala Robert Plant.

The only person I've ever seen play a theremin is Charlie Clouser.

I say, if you can play that thing break that shit out.

But don't unveil the breadwich stomach, nobody needs to see that.

Zeitgeist Break said...

Fred Smoot ---- Down by the Seaside or Four Sticks (Two double dildos.....too much of a stretch?)

Romeo Crennel ---- Black Mountain Side

Terrell Owens/Donovan McNabb ---- Friends

WAW said...

lendale white - candy store rock

emmitt smith - dancing (with the stars) days

jon kitna - houses of the holy

adrian peterson (good) - wearing (out Ds) and tearing (LCLs)

tom brady - your time is gonna come

the Associated Dress said...

John Facenda - Coda

Zeitgeist Break said...

Terrell Owens ---- Good Times Bad Times

XtraLonghorn said...

Who Let the Dogs out......Michael Vick

The Humanist said...

The 1970 Marshall Football Team........Night Flight

too soon?

Ricky said...

TOO SOON. Once they make a movie dramatizing it, only then can you make that kind of joke.

Moof! said...

@ricky
Did you not see the Patron Saint on MNF? Suzy was looking beautiful. You heretic. I swear if you float in water, weigh the same as a duck you are made of wood. And therefore, a witch!

Jay said...

Ach. I'd contribute, but you already used Achilles' Last Stand on Vinny Testaverde

Moira said...

@ spud randall - katrina was referring to hurricane katrina, the hurricane that passed through new orleans in august of 2005 and caused massive amounts of damage... thus the "levee" reference.

@ ricky - i'm too sleepy to tell if you were being sarcastic or not, but they did make a movie about the 1970 marshall football team in december of 2006.. however, if this was meant to be a sarcastic, then disregard this comment.

...pulling an all-nighter for college finals and wanted to take a break from studying.

Phony Gwynn said...

Did somebody really just throw down "Who let the dogs out" on a post about Led Fucking Zeppelin?

I know just about all the songs were taken, but ... Christ.

RonaldoMexico said...

Not all the songs...

Miami Dolphins_____Hots on for Nowhere

@spud: please do not tell me that katrina was seriously news to you...

Spud Randall said...

Actually, I just spent 2.5 years swimming in grape jello so I didn't hear anything.

Hank said...

That's a lot of grape jello. Anyhow it was Hurricane Katrina in 2005 that fucked up New Orleans and the Gulf Coast royally.