Monday, December 3, 2007

If A.J. Feeley Don't Beat'Cha, Kyle Boller Will



It's the 4th quarter and the Greatest Team EVAH According to Tony Kornheiser is trailing the 4-7 Ravens by a score of 24-17. They're getting beaten the fuck up by an inferior team. One led by one of the worst QBs in the league. In short, the Patriots fucking suck.

39 comments:

Greg said...

and right on cue he throws a killer int

QueeferSuthrland said...

I guess that blueprint must be working.

Uncle JR said...

This is great! The only thing that would have been sweeter is if the Dolphins had managed to get their only win of the season against these jerk offs.

Gawd I hope they get their asses handed to them! I can't wait to see the wailing on ESPN tomorrow!

My Insignificant Life said...

F'n Shula is in the booth laughing at all of this. As much as I'm enjoying this game, I wish the Pats would win to shut Shula up and send him back to the home.

24-20, 8:41 left

/time for yet another beer.

Rambo January 25 - for a guy in his 90's, the movie looks decent - high body count

/ok, yet another beer and anything may look good.

NHZ said...

Yep. They're the worst 11-0 team ever. =P

Uncle JR said...

Fuck me runnin'

Guess I skip ESPN tomorrow. I can't stand listening to the sounds of slurping.

Fucking Patriots.

Bill said...

Billick botches a call from the sidelines. Who would have guessed?

Jackin'4Beats said...

Ravens fans can thank Rex Ryan for that loss.

SRV said...

hate the Pats as much as the next guy, but I laughed hard when the jackass Ravens clockblocked their own defense on a 4th down stop!

NHZ said...

Yeah, who wins Dumbass Coach of the Week, Gibbs, Billick, or Ryan?

MarkJacksonShimmey said...

Dammit Billick...fucking shit up constantly

Russell K said...

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck. Goddamnit.

Stupid Ravens.

BarrelO said...

Son of a bitch. You guys jinxed it.

miamidiesel said...

This coming Sunday, despite my long-standing love of the Giants, I'm the biggest Steelers fan on the face of the planet. If Baltimore, with an old-ass defense and a shitty QB can almost pull that off, Pittsburgh, with its still functional blitzing D and above average (though retarded) QB has absolutely got to have a chance. Please God don't let this come down to the Meadowlands...

QueeferSuthrland said...

miamidiesel-

You do realize that there will be 2 scenarios happening during that Pats/Giants game:

1) Up 35 points with 4 minutes to go, Brady goes for a bomb to Moss on 4th and 1 and Justin Tuck and Osi tear his legs from his torso.

or

2) The Messiah that is Eli Manning sucks for the first 50 minutes of the game then somehow has a TD drive a minute as the Giants win in a rout.

peytonloveskenny said...

Douchenozzle, go the fuck away.

Jackin'4Beats said...

12-0, baby. Bring on the next chump

Good job posting that 45 minutes after the end of the game. We all know you were crapping your pants while simultaneously freshening up your va-jay-jay. Your beer muscles aren't fooling anyone.

This Cowboys fan is cheering for the Steelers next week.

Junker23 said...

Why can't everyone wait for the Steelers to get the Pats? The Steelers lost to the Jets and played Miami close. Pats already beat the Colts, the 2nd best team in the league, I don't know why the big bad Steelers are supposed to be the team that comes in and beats 'em.

peytonloveskenny said...

The whole transitive property thing doesn't really work well in sports. Sure you can say the Steelers lost to the Jets, but they also killed the Ravens, who should have just won. Obviously, I'm not impartial, but I think the Steelers are quite capable of beating the Patriots.

Hewerman said...

Lol, maybe because barring a few bone headed plays and questionable calls, the fucking 4-8 Baltimore Ravens would have been the team that beat them.

Junker23 said...

Yeah, I agree the transitive property thing doesn't work for sports in general, but it does show that the Steelers are capable of playing a crappy game every now and again, just like the Pats.

I do think the Steelers are overrated in general. Their only wins against teams w/ winning records are the Browns (twice) and the Seahawks. Neither of those teams are close to as good as the Cowboys of Colts, who the Pats have already beaten.

If Polamalu/Holmes are still out for Pittsburgh I wouldn't be shy about picking the Pats by 14+.

Matt said...

Posted that a little too soon, ay?

Rusty said...

Damnit all to hell! As a generational Baltimore girl, I was looking to rub this in my Bostonian roommate's face. She watches all the Pats games religiously, and when she told me that B-more was winning tonight, I had a little gloat to myself, and then I left for the club confident that we'd pull it out. Fuck them all.

Peter said...

Laughing
keep on crying, ladies.
you're pretty when you cry!



what this game proved was that even if the Pats weren't the best team in the league, they still own the title as the toughest!!!

If instead of actually playing football, the game was decided by a team vs. team full scale brawl tournament, the Pats would whoop everyone and it wouldn't even be close. The Ravens tried to come out and smash the Pats in the mouth, mistaking them for some namby pamby finesse team, but they physically couldn't match the Pats' tughnesss. U guys can harp on a call here or there if you want, but the big factor was the Pats defense was all like ":mad FUCK THIS!! you guys arent fucking winning this game go ahead and try to fucking run or pass on us we don't give a SHIT!!" and stuffed the Ravens on their last couple of chances with the ball and Tom Brady was just like "Fuck you. I'll make you all my woman and no woman can resist Tom Brady!" That was a totally emasculating defeat. All those purple-clad pansies in the stadium hobbled to their cars in icy cold weather that emphasized the pitiful quality of their manginas.



have fun crying about the refs and pretending that you're gloating/laughing about it when you're actually crying. I bet that's almost as satisfying as winning


shit-eating grin Very Happy

Christmas Ape said...

Yeah, I got a little excited.

But the Ravens didn't end up looking good, so I still win! Hooray for me!

Ryan said...

The Ravens were the 2 seed last year, they have the talent. Plus Lewis, Reed, and especially McGahee were all playing at the highest possible level they could manage for Sean Taylor. The Patriots may lose to a crappy team, but these are playoff intensity games, week in and week out. Also this was the third game in a row the Patriots played at night. NFL players prefer 1pm games from the few times I have heard them mention the difference anyway. If you thought the Patriots were going to win by 20 you deserve to have lost some money. The Patriots should be in better shape from here on out, and whether you love them or hate them, they are the best thing going right now.

Europaeus said...

Whichever team you were rooting for, that was one fine-ass game.

As far as the Steelers or any other team, the blueprint was been made; you come out with more intensity than all your other games combined and you may lose by just 3.

Un-fucking-believable team.

Dirty Hairy said...

As a Mid-westerner (Go Bears!...ugh...), I have no particular love for the Patriots (other than my in-laws are from the Boston area). Still, this notion of the "blueprint" to beat the Pats is absolutely ridiculous. All the blueprint shows is how to lose in a humiliating and dramatic fashion, and become the prison bitch for the Pats.

Hoping against hope that with 8:00 left in the 4th quarter that a team like the Ravens would hold on to win against the Pats is laughable. In fact, I was surprised it was as close as it was.

You want to beat the Patriots? Drive their fucking dicks into the dirt. Beat them by four fucking touchdowns. Attack their line and don't let up. When someone does *that*, we will have the mythical blueprint of fantasy.

Europaeus said...

If I recall, the Ravens had them beat not once but twice, on that last drive. Once when Billick outsmarted himself, and once when the ref's finally called Baltimore for mugging Pat receivers.

They could have won.

Hank Wackman said...

hold on, timeout for a sec.

hold on, timeout for a sec.

The Pats won.

grungedave said...

Can Pittsburgh re-sign van Oelhoffen for next week? Re-enact the 2005 Carson Palmer play? And collect a bounty in the process?

NeverNude said...

While I certainly agree the Patriots got plain old lucky in this game. Calls, that were the correct calls, were made that benefited them... but they simply got outplayed for 45+ minutes of football.

The Ravens made a lot of pathetic, whiny comments in the locker room about the one sided officiating. How about the "no calls"?

The two tackles on the final hail mary we'll excuse, reed taking off his helmet pretending to spike it and screaming up at the crowd isn't unsportsmanlike? mcgahee spiking the ball in the middle of the field after a first down isn't a delay of game? scott trying to attack the referee and delaying the game combined with 2 unsportsmanlikes doesn't get him ejected?

Totally understand everyone wanting the Patriots to fail... if I wasn't a lifelong fan I'd be there too, but the Ravens look like a bunch of lifeless pussies with these comments. Man up, you choked, your coach screwed you. Good luck getting a 5th win.

Dusty said...

Come on Steelers. Rip his legs off and slap Billy B upside the head with them please.

Freddie Footballer said...

Apparently, you can't call timeout if you're the Defensive Coordinator according to NFL rules. The Ravens should've won the game right there when they stuffed Brady on 4th down.

-Freddie Footballer
http://fantasysportsmatrix.com/user/freddie-footballer

Kevin said...

@freddie footballer:

Except that the official wasn't checking IDs, he was watching the lines. (Look at any of the million replays ESPN is showing.) He heard one of the coaches call time out, he granted it. That's the norm when the teams are at the line. The NFL has instructed its officials to grant timeouts in that fashion (per Mike Pereira).

You want to complain about it, complain that Billick doesn't have his coaches *or* his team under control.

Frank!!! said...

Good job, Jinxy McJinkerson!!!

John John The Bastard said...

Peter's comments sound like the stories I get from the 14 year old girls I coach about whatever spat they are getting in to.

Yeah I hang out with 14 year old girls. Big Whoop, want to fight about it?

onehandclapping said...

IDEA FOR RAVENS WORLD DOMINATION:

Kill one Miami player before each game.

Genius.

onehandclapping said...

and a win-win for mankind