Sunday, December 9, 2007

"Dear Lord, That Was the Loudest Profanity I've Ever Heard."


Welp, that was unpleasant. Perhaps the next time Anthony Smith issues a guarantee, he'll consider not getting beat on three or four deep passes.

I'd like to think Polamalu and a healthy Santonio Holmes might make a possible playoff rematch more competitive. Or maybe that's just the whiskey and turpentine talking. What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a blog post and no, no, I don't need a glass.

31 comments:

peytonloveskenny said...

I don't drink, but I am considering becoming an alcoholic after this game.

NHZ said...

Wow.

douglas said...

-patriots kid has orange lips from sucking brady's cheesedick-

Funniest tag ever. I never post but I sure do read this site religiously. I am in tears. KUDOS.

5150 said...

As a Colts fan, I couldn't be happier that the Pats won. Lord knows, we need the week off. Although the thought of the Pats losing also seems very rewarding.

Fuck the Pats
Fuck the Steelers

Dusty said...

Great tag and turpentine is over-rated.

Raskolnikov said...

I didn't know whiskey and Rossi mixed.

LiarLidimew said...

Bet you $1 that their dad is a whipped bitch. "Let them cheer for who they want honey." "O.K." No football fan worth his salt would have 2 sons who root for different teams in the AFC. That just wouldn't happen. Of course he wouldn't buy them matching team Santa hats either.

Allison said...

Imagine this, after about 4 obnoxious Pats did everything they could to ruin the game at my Steelers bar in SF, they offered to buy one of my friends a shot. She turned around, chugged beer, then took the shot just so she could intentionally vomit on the Pats fans. It was priceless.

Ricky said...

I really don't get the title of the post.

peytonloveskenny said...

Can Blogger ban people from making the username robert?

Christmas Ape said...

Ricky:

Like 50 percent of everything on this blog, it's a Simpsons reference. From the first "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" episode where Homer screams shouts "FUCK" (drowned out by a church organ) after Mr. Burns sends a thank you letter from the family that neglected him. The quote is Flanders' response.

Back to killing myself with booze.

SlideShow Bob said...

"dont even try to comment robert"

wow that may be my favorite tag ever.

Mike said...

I think it's mine too, Bob.

And yes, if any parent let's their two kids growing up rooting for different teams, they've failed as a parent.

Ricky said...

Wait... a writer from the site answered my question? See? This is why I hate this blog shit. You credential-less fucks communicate with your readers which is quite obviously for amateurs. I'm not coming back to this site until you ignore every question, comment, and piece of profanity-laced degradation that I send. Back to my bookmarked archive of Jay Mariotti columns.

QueeferSuthrland said...

Eli Manning is the last line in defense of a 16-0 Pats season.

I'm a Giants fan and I'm just hoping Osi Umenyiora can break Dreamboat's legs on the first play from scrimmage, even if the Giants start out on offense.

peytonloveskenny said...

Ricky, are you being sarcastic or are you Stephen A. Smith?

Matt said...

I'm not a Pats fan, but watching them play is entertaining. It's like going to the circus. I bet Welker could even walk on a tightrope with the right combination of hoes from Lubbock egging him on and a few weeks practice.

Louie Bones said...

If failing as a parent means encouraging your kids to root for different football teams, in order to stage knife-fights between them to gamble on with friends, then yes, I have failed as a parent.

allie said...

I must be missing out, never having vomited on any opposing team's fans. sounds outstanding.

and yes, the fact that this guy can buy his kids pats/steelers tickets and stupid matching santa hats, and I can't even afford the NFL network, really chaps my ass.

Captain Caveman said...

Who Shot Burns #1 is my second favorite Simpsons episode of all time. (Treehouse of Horrors V is #1).

J-Shock Eats Babies said...

When did Wes Welker start hanging out with Giambi?

Otto Man said...

Those aren't kids who root for different teams. Those are kids whose parents were desperate to get them on TV.

It was either the matching Santa hats -- available for purchase now on NFL.com™, home viewers -- or one of those really naturally sounding signs that just happens to spell out the network initials:

Can't
Believe this
Shit!

Comicbook Guy said...

Sucks to be everyone else in the NFL, doesn't it!

grungedave said...

So I now have to be an Elisha Manning fan in Week 17? Fuuuuuuck!

(now that is the loudest profanity anyone in my office has ever heard)

Wormfather said...

Fuck. That Shit.

Best line ever from the best episod ever:

"Lingo dead?"

"Lingo is dead."

Case closed. Now you assholes need to stop desiminating (I need to try to stop spelling) shit you obviously have no clue about 'fore S.A. Smith has to come lay the fist down 'round here.

SDW said...

@allison:

I love that the person vomiting is a "she." Gotta love Blitzburgh. Some classy dames there...

Christmas Ape said...

sdw, allison:

I'd sooner hang out with some girl puking out Exorcist-type shit than some pink Red Sox hat wearing Boston cunt who doesn't understand football but thinks the Pats are teh bestest because Tom Brady is hawtt.

Sam said...

A-fucking-men, Ape.

Buzzy09 said...

@ Ape:

Isn't that what skins fans do anyway?

I'll take my response off the air.

Kevin said...

Yup, looks like that kids caught Brady's Herps alright.

Jackin'4Beats said...

You and you...fight to the death. And did I mention that I hate my job for blocking you guys?

Anyway, fack teh Pahts.