Monday, December 31, 2007

You Can't Fire Me! Only I Know How To Prevent Ray Lewis From Killing Again!


You fools! Do you really think the next guy you hire will have the insanely huge ego to deal with those assholes in the locker room? Only the Bri has the brains, and the hair, to make that happen! Idiots! Only I know the secret to preventing Lewis from killing again. And there's no way I'm telling you now! That's your punishment for thinking you could go behind my back, or in front of my back, and fire me!

You know naught what you hath wrought, Ravens. I hope you like wearing chain mail.

15 comments:

StuScottBooyahs said...

Considering approximately 3 percent of Baltimore residents die of natural causes, this is not at all disconcerting.

Jackin'4Beats said...

This is the best news I've heard all day. Hilarious. I wonder which idiot team will hire him with the new title of Genius of Offensive Strategem?

I pick the Chiefs.

Who ya got?

Brave Sir Robin said...

The Ray Lewis murder over/under has me giddy.

naptown drew said...

He was only blowing Rodney Harrison a kiss goodbye.

Dubya said...

Wanna bet he goes to Hotlanta?

SDW said...

Bienvenido a Miami.

Landru said...

It's a short drive for the Bri down to Redskins Park after Joe Jesucristo El Senor Super Mayamaya Jefe Gibbs retires to run an American Gladiators franchise.

The Bri or the Cowhard? Who ya got? In the Douchebag Former Coach of the Milennium competition, I mean. Since Gibbs isn't a former coach yet.

SlideShow Bob said...

people r gonna start ending up in the vacant houses over in west Balt.

dickey simpkins said...

Oh God, the genius of this master plan is already unfolding. Billick fired, Martz soon to be canned, what better candidate to revamp the Lions offense? Matt Millen mustn't fail me on this task.

Pemulis said...

i am writing this comment only to say that I havent yet read any of the previous posts today, havent read this post or the comments, but the headline made me spit a goldfish cracker/ vodka soda mix out of my mouth.


well done... for safety's sake i will wait until tomorrow to read anything else.


/already kinda drunk

Punch Rockgroin said...

Wrong again, Billick!

No one can stop Lewis from killing again.

Zac said...

Seriously, I can't get enough of that headline.

I say he winds up in ATL. Blank is throwing money at everybody. Plus, he could work with dog murderer Michael Vick using the same technique he did with people murderer Ray Lewis.

Brian said...

Ray Lewis is like OJ, it's just a matter of time.

B.E. Earl said...

That's an incredibly weird face. My eyeballs hurt just looking at that chin.

Otto Man said...

I pick the Chiefs.

Please God no.