Sunday, December 30, 2007

The Saints Missed The Playoffs? This Is The Worst Tragedy Ever


Are you telling me that this year's playoffs will not feature F--k Da Eagles Heather? Well, that is a true American tragedy. I don't even know how we even begin to recover. The Federal government hasn't given us ANY sort of guidance on this. There are thousands of football fans stranded out there, with no tits in sight. Who will come to their rescue? Who will provide them with the support, preferably and ample B cup or higher, that they so desperately need?

This is a call to all you mildly attractive female football fans of this year's playoff teams out there. You need to pick da team that you think should get fucked. Then, you must visibly demonstrate on your chest your commitment to da principle that da team you pick deserves good, hard fucking. Then you need to get yourself on FOX. They say they don't condone that sort of thing. But really, they can't get enough of it. They love it when fans want one team to fuck another.

So hurry, with all due diligence. We need it. Please help.

19 comments:

Elizabeth the Conqueror said...

As a Skins fan, I'll see if I can contribute to a Fuck the Cowboys bandwagon.

Suss said...

"mildly attractive female football fans"

Whoa ho ho, Mr. Standards.

Matt said...

fuck troy williamson. right in his stupid ass.

StuScottBooyahs said...

How about fucking the Vikings. Their team is coached by a giant walking vagina anyway.

Matt said...

I feel bad for wearing my two new purple jesus shirts recently. fuck.ing.a.

twoeightnine said...

Fox doesn't condone that sort of thing? Didn't they once run a reality show called Who Wants to Titty-Fuck My New Breasts?

Adam said...

"fuck da tony romo" jessica isn't good enough?

smurphette said...

I will see what I can do about a "Fuck Da Patriots" display.

Honorable mentions go to fucking "Da Steelers" and "Da Chargers" because of their colossal douchebag QBs.

JAMMQ said...

And really, there are so many teams that deserve a good fucking.

The Patriots.

The Colts.(I don't give a shit what you say, only douchebags root for Peyton Manning)

The Cowboys.(Insufferable owner. Insufferable fans)

The Redskins. (Sympathetic team. Unsympathetic fanbase)

That's just four off the top of the head. Really, there are just so many teams for the ladies to choose from.

Stephen said...

+10 points for "Who Wants to Titty-Fuck My New Breasts?"

Sarah said...

While I'm against looking that trashy in general or on any national/regional telecast - I would readily and obligingly paint my tits and stomach with "FUCK DA PATS - FUCKIN' MASSHOLES." It may not fit... Oh well, the sacrifices we make.

miamidiesel said...

@sarah: I love you.

I'm in a Frat said...

Kudos, Sarah.

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
peter king crowned my ass said...

I guess my FUCK FUCK DA EAGLES GIRL shirt is going back in the drawer, then.

SlideShow Bob said...

no one wants to FUCK DA GIANTS?

Punch Rockgroin said...

Wait. All I have to do to get some action is to be on FOX?

All those wasted roofies...

miamidiesel said...

@slideshow bob: no need for such a shirt. Da Giants are already fucked. The fact that my team is so happy to have played so well in a loss means they have "just happy to be in the playoffs" written all over them.

@sarah: the hat was part of the attraction. "I wanna fudk u." Preferably while you're wearing nothing except the 'Git-R-Done' hat and have 'FUCK DA PATS - FUCKIN' MASSHOLES' written on your titties and stomach.

Christmas Ape said...

Perhaps it's "Fuck Da Jeff Garcia" Lance's time to shine. Heyyyy