Friday, December 21, 2007

Super Mario vs. One of Those Gay Manning Koopa Kids. WHO YA GOT?














Hey, it's a match-up for former number 1 picks who actually panned out into pretty good players. What's more, it's a situation in which the two players actually interact with one another, not like when two superstar players who both play offense or defense happen to be in the same game and we have to pretend one's performance can affect the other. Hey, look Purple Jesus put 125 on the 'Skins. He totally shut down Clinton Portis! Anyway, WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Mario Williams_______Peyton Manning

No. 1 pick of

2006 NFL Draft_______Unimaginative advertisers everywhere


Power ups

Stars, mushrooms, flowers, construda__Gesturing frantically at line, buttsecks

Helped by

Warp pipe to quarterback_______Hiding in Elisha Koopa's squash fortress


Made famous by

Being better than Reggie Bush___Sticking Captain N's light gun up his chute


Rides

Kart________Chesney, on a cart


Can fly if

Wears a yellow cape_______Loafers get light enough

Favorite environment

Water level__________Fire (Island) level

Finishing move

Saves princess___________Surgery to become princess


22 comments:

5150 said...

Alright, who's letting their kid blog?

Pemulis said...

ZOMG PWNED!!!

Pemulis said...

also, i'll go with the colts

Matt said...

All I really want for Xmas is an above .500 Texans season...

Matt said...

I agree with matt.

smurphette said...

I pick the Colts, of course. Hopefully there won't be much interaction at all, now that we have Tony Ugoh back at LT.

Matt said...

@ smurphette. You do know that Mario lines up over your RT on obvious passing downs, right?

Assistant Wang said...

All I know is that I need Reggie Wayne to blow the fuck up! Other than that...fuck the Colts.

smurphette said...

@matt: Having Tony back means the rest of our line gets to play in their normal slots. Instead of shifting Charlie Johnson (who has already been starting in place of the injured Ryan Diem) to the left and having an even younger and less experienced player on the right to face Williams, we get Johnson on the right, where he is most comfortable, and we don't have to worry about Peyton's blind side.

SDW said...

@smurphette:

BOING.

I'll show myself out.

Comicbook Guy said...

who know Manning was an adverb, as in "I want to go manning."

denvergodfather said...

@smurfette:

I think I love you. I know I lust for you.

Jordan said...

with all the koopa talk, you couldn't work in a joke about manning's crippled brother cooper? i am disappointed.

pain-ther fan said...

@ Smurphette.

Holy Shit.

TurleyGirlie said...

WTF?

Y'all think girls don't know about football?




Amateurs...

Matt said...

@ matt

Ok, this is a little weird.

smurphette said...

@denvergodfather: LOL, thanks. Most guys do not have that kind of reaction to my enjoyment of football.

pain-ther fan said...

@ TurleyGirlie

I never said that, but it was especially impressive coming from a girl. That and the fact that I had no expectation of reading actual football content when I opened the comments.

TurleyGirlie said...

In the spirit of the season, pain-ther fan...you're forgiven.


Even though you're a Pain-ther fan.




/Saints fan

smurphette said...

@pain-therfan: Wow, thanks. After having a shitty day at work on my birthday, random compliments are kind of awesome. And so is beer.

pain-ther fan said...

@ Smurphette

After many consecutive shitty days at work, and many more, consecutive shitty days at home, i understand.

pain-ther fan said...

@ Smurphette

Happy birthday.