Tuesday, November 13, 2007

KSK Kollaborative Kaption Kontest

KSK Reader Raphael was good enough to send us this Hi-Def screen grab of Peyton Manning on the bench in the midst of the Colts' loss to San Diego on Sunday. Yes, we're still talking about the Sunday night game, especially since last night's game was like watching painted grass drying, while growing. Anyway, we've decided to open this up to the floor. The ground rules:

1) No references to AIDS, the jungle, or sub-Saharan Africa, and
2) Just kidding, there are no ground rules.

We'll kick it off, then you can slice like a fucking hammer in the comments.

"Hey, Jim. Jimmy. Jimmy! Do I have anything in my teeth?"

127 comments:

devang said...

Ow, my ass.

Perks said...

When I Chant D-Fence: It Includes You!

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

"I can't wait to get out of the jungle so I can try to cure the AIDS I contracted in sub-Saharan Africa. Oh yeah, my younger brother is a fucking 'tard."

David said...

God I miss Kenny.

Aith said...

Some how, some way... this is Matt Ufford's fault.

Franklin said...

This is my best impersonation of my old man Archie, Dab Nabit!

Daniel said...

Khaaaaaan!

Jason said...

"On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood! What was will be! What is will be no more! Now is the season of evil!"

Christmas Ape said...

Marvin, for the last time, get away from those fucking dolphins!

Jason said...

Or...

No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.

C. L. said...

Boy, that pre-game spread sure left me constipated.

brick said...

FrankenQB must eat BRAIINSS

twoeightnine said...

Must... not... masturbate.

More Credible said...

Damn it Sorgi, sit down right Meow!

Phony Gwynn said...

Sorgi, I'm gonna have an orgy with your entrails and organs, and then I'm gonna strangle Vinatieri with 'em.

Upstate Underdog said...

Vanderjagt !

Aith said...

Maj is going to be SO pissed!

Weed Against Speed said...

I am not an elephant! I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!

Wormfather said...

PALPATINE: Power! Unlimited power!

Hank Wackman said...

I can has extra chromosome?

mnak said...

"Khaaaaaan!" F-ing awesome, I'm still laughing.

Steve said...

"You are good to me master. I'm sorry. "



I've got multiple nephews and a neice, I've had to listen to Quasimodo about 4,000 times in the last few years.

The Last Unitard said...

Sorgi remains missing. The only clue in his disappearance is a bloody clipboard, found in a rest area men's room off I-70. Foul play is suspected.

El Duffo O Muerte said...

"Think you're getting more 'face' time than me Norv?"

Andrew said...

"I hope John and Al are mentioning how the rain, y'know, affects things."

Ron Bermuda said...

"When is this Writers Guild Strike going to end!!! I miss NCIS already!"

the great bambi said...

"Damn, my face has been stuck like this ever since Cromartie popped my O-ring"

Steve H said...

Get this fucking game over with! I've got a Daewoo commercial shoot I've got to get to!

Gourmet Spud said...

Unngghhhh...well, Coach can stop looking for that lost crucifix.

naptown drew said...

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more Sorgi nipples!

Weed Against Speed said...

"Country music singers suck cock like this..."

Pemulis said...

"Quellek... by Grabthar's hammer... by the Sons of Warvan... you shall be... avenged!!! "

J said...

THIS IS SPARTA!

Jackin'4Beats said...

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!!!!!!!!
(that means you too Dungy)

Jackin'4Beats said...

I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you.

Chamomiles Davis said...

"SEDAGIVE"?!?

Jim U. said...

FIRE...BAD!!!

J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chuckbutt said...

... and if I push on Sorgi's head, Peyton's neck comes up. Cool, huh?

Lenn Sakatas Media Assassin said...

FUCK! Eli's gonna be all, "So...I only threw 2 INTs. How'd YOU do?" That fuckin' panzy. FUUUUUUUCK!!!!

Rush said...

Fuck it. At least the Pats didn't win either. What? Bye week? FUUUUCCCCKKK!

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Captain Howdy, do you think my mom's pretty? Captain Howdy? Captain Howdy, that isn't very nice!

More Credible said...

This is more homosexual than when I saw Bill Simmons and Collin Cowherd make out... on my DIRECT TV.

Punch Rockgroin said...

The blood is life... and it shall be mine.

Dr Faux Fro said...

Private Joker: Are those... live rounds?
Private Gomer Pyle: Seven-six-two millimeter. Full. Metal. Jacket.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Hey Jimmy? You were right...my attempt at being Rex Grossman for a week has been successful. Wait, what? He won yesterday?

You know what Sorgi? I swear to everything holy that your mother will cry when she sees what I've done to you!!!!

Derrick said...

For the last time Sorgi, you're not fucking starting next week!

Weed Against Speed said...

"I should want to cook him a simple meal, but I shouldn't want to cut into him, to tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where his flesh becomes my key."

ben said...

Shut up QUADO!!!

Sisto said...

"Put the fucking lotion in the basket! "

GoreZombie said...

DAMMIT NORV! GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Jason said...

+1 Pemulis.

"What is the law?"

"Don't walk on all fours"

Casey said...

Dad, come on...that hurts.

The chuggernaut said...

Look, at least I can do a good impression of a snapping turtle.

Aggie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff said...

I didn't break the law.... I AM THE LAW

Phony Gwynn said...

Quaaaaaaid....start the reactor.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I'm like King Midas in reverse here. Everything I touch turns to shit.

(thanks Tony)

Wormfather said...

@Sisto

+1

smurphette said...

"It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose AGAIN!"

t-bone said...

Sorgi: "Peyton, what is best in life?"
Peyton: "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!"

Brown said...

Sorgi, get me the Pepto Bismol! NOW!

PK said...

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

lost said...

ANIMAL! A-NI-MAL!

John said...

Mongo only pawn in game of life.

Brian said...

"Hey, want to see my impression of Nicholson in The Shining?"

RedKing said...

sorgi: clever girl...
peyton: *attacks and kills sorgi

Patrick said...

It makes the chip shot from within
Or else it gets the hose again

Andrew said...

"Sorgi, I've been watchin' you and I know that you know that I've been watchin' you. How would you like to fuck me up the ass? When I bend over... START FUCKING!"

Seth said...

"'And I FEEEEL iiit! And I FEEEL iiit!.' Sorgi, I'monna burn this and give it back to you tomorrow, k?"

Ken Dynamo said...

what is that peculiar oder?

blaaaarrrruuuuurrrreeeeeehhhhuuuppp!

hmmm yes, peyton... allright then.

Mike said...

IM CHARGIN MA LAZZZERRSSS

Russell K said...

"Hey, Vanderjagt! FUCK YOU" "Peyton, it's me Jim." "Vinatieri? Ah, then you're OK."

Otto Man said...

I'm late to the game, but I'll use this audio clip for the win.

ben said...

Sorgi: Nice weather we're having.
Peyton: What are you, a fucking weatherman?

Goob Pistol said...

Peyton Manning, right, is the chairman of NADS (Neanderthals Afflicted with Downs Syndrome) and had this to say following his 6 INT performance Sunday, "Peyton make Doodie Pants."

Big said...

Is Peyton looking at me? I think he's looking at me. I hope he's not mad. Oh shit I think he's mad. Don't look, Jim, stay in your happy place.

NHZ said...

"...I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW here Sorgi, you took the FUCKING BUS!"

chewbacca lowenstien said...

Holy shit Pey-Pey, interception number 6 looks REALLY bad on the Jumbo-Tron...What are you doing with a chainsaw at a football game?

Jackin'4Beats said...

Peyton: "I'm going to count to three. There will be no four. When I count three, so help me, if you're not outta my fuckin' face I'm eating your children tonight. You got that Sorgi?"
Sorgi: "Uh, can I ask a question?"
Peyton: "Three. You just did numbnuts and now your children will be mine with hot sauce, bitch."

smurphette said...

"Am I the only one who gives a shit about the rules?? MARK IT ZERO!"

Timothy said...

love my neck...want it back

Brian said...

Throw the rock, Mitch!

the chief said...

Hey asshat, the league's already got a #12 with an inflated sense of self-importance.

Insomniac Ben said...

Yeah! Get him a body bag!

lampshade77 said...

Must..not...become...Eli.

The Battleship said...

"You think i'm shit, Jim Sorgi? Well, you're wrong, 'cause I'm champagne, and you're shit. Until the day you die, Jim Sorgi, you, not me, will always be shit"

Babydaddy said...

"Peyton, look in the place where you dare not look and you find me there--staring back at you."

"Get out of my mind!"

Babydaddy said...

Or:

Peyton: "I'm a soldier, man, a fucking soldier!"

Sorgi: "Damn, you need a hug or a role model or something."

Steve H said...

@pistol and nhz: good ones

N.J.G said...

I drive a dodge stratus!

PartMule said...

Rose....bud.

Dogtownsurfer said...

I used to think lockjaw was an old wives tale but man, this shit hurts!

Matt said...

omg I really have to poop!

Michael said...

this is a laser rocket arm, the strongest laser rocket arm known to man. i hit you with this, itll leave a two foot hole going out the other side. now i know youre wondering, can i hit one of my own players today? well, do you feel lucky? do ya, punk?

Kevin said...

Peyton: "So I got benched for this guy? The jackoff from 'Blue's Clues'? I thought you were fuckin' dead."

Melrose Place said...

peyton: "i'm so angry i could kick this bench right now only if it was made of something fluffy!"

jim: "memo, first thing in the morning: call hairdresser and arrange session for thursday. need to fix this hair over sideburns asap"

Billy said...

i sure hope magic johnson will let me borrow his aids cure

dick_gozinia said...

Sloth love Chunk.

ed said...

"If i don't look at him, he won't won't hurt me"

Don't Call Me Shirley said...

WHY WON'T THE BITCH GET AN ABORTION?!

Dan said...

BRAAADDDYYYY!!!!

Gourmet Spud said...

@ don't call me shirley:

Yeah, that's going to be tough to top.

The F-in' Juice said...

"Oh Hamburgers."

Gary said...

"Don't you fucking look at me!"

skateboard hustler said...

"like you've never thrown an interception...MORON!!!!"

Barry said...

I am Peyton's Raging Bile Duct

Barry said...

Soo, soolaimon
Soolai, soolai, soolaimon

...

God of my day, day, day
Lord of my night, night, night
Seek for the way, way, way
Taking me home

J said...

"I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS!"

S. W. Miller said...

"Hey, knob bobber, this is where YOUR dick goes!"

doug_plank said...

"AHHHHH...I found the f'ning missing kicking tee!!! Venatari, YOU Dick!!!"

Young James said...

Peyton: Sorgi.
Sorgi: Stay away.
Peyton: Darling. Light, of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash 'em right the fuck in. Ha, ha.

sventastic said...

"I don't know what that blasted shark is gonna do with it - might eat it, I suppose. Seen one eat a rockin' chair one time."

Clayton Bigsby said...

Sorgi! CLipboard! Fuck!

The F-in' Juice said...

didn't see this yet...

"CUNT!"

simple, effective, and the ladies love it.

Mike said...

Sorgi, for the fuckin' sixth time, stop watching the damn "Interception Montage"!

Andrew said...

AAAHHHH! That's a warface. Sorgi, if you don't make one soon, I'm going to gauge out your eyeballs and skullfuck you!

bngl206 said...

My name's Chucky, wanna plaaaaayyy?

bngl206 said...

I am Zuul. I am the Gatekeeper.

Drizztdj said...

Jimmy, you still up for Dave and Busters after the game?

Leaking Geek said...

I AM SPARTICUS!

Chamomiles Davis said...

"This is my angry yawn, when I get so pissed off I become sleepy!"

Robocats said...

"Be ready! Cause I tend to get 'handsy' in the shower after a loss."

wv: ytevstao
Speaking as a Steve Smith owner: Y testaverde? indeed

Awful Chief said...

"Dreembot sez 'Cheez' fer Khamruh!"

brick said...

HOTWATERBURNBABY

HOTWATERBURNBABY

rse said...

FUCK YOU, that's my name!

Dan said...

If you don't make eye contact then Mannings won't attack. They're more scared of you than you are of them, actually.