Friday, November 9, 2007

Ass So Fat That You Can See It From the Front

Say what you want about the Redskins inept front office (B-Lloyd, Arch, and TJ say "thank you") or their pathetic play calling, but at least their cheerleaders bring the heat. Before Dan Snyder arrival the offensive linemen had better bodies than the cheerleaders, although Shar Pourdanesh was a fucking minx. So if nothing else (seriously, there's not much), at least we can thank him for that.

It's my pleasure to introduce you to this week's cheerleader selection, the Redskinettes own Kelley (the extra e is for "egads she's stacked"). Although she actually predates the Snyder Regime, she's certainly flourished within the more attractive environment. Kelley also possesses one of the more unique job titles listed on the cheerleader's bios. She refers to herself as an aesthetician, like a young Kierkegaard with tits!

Thanks to this picture the sun now gives me an erection.


That bikini would look awesome on acid...or in my mouth.


While Kelley might be absolutely gorgeous, she's certainly does not come equipped with the requisite britch thickness that I was looking for. Upon further inspection, this appears to be an epidemic throughout our beloved NFL (Alge Crumpler excluded). I'm not saying that all the cheerleaders should be smuggling hams, but I need to see some hot NFL cheerleaders who truly have the ass.

Another one of my favorite First Ladies of Football is the woefully named, yet able bodied, Chastity.



Now Chastity is working with an onion booty of modest quality (not to mention a couple of other fantastic assets) but on the whole, the league could still do so much more in the department of derrières.

What do you think about this subject Mr. Def?



See, Mos knows what I'm talking about. So come on NFL, we want to see a bit more ass next season. But don't go cutting back on them tit-ays.

31 comments:

3000 said...

Oh, Rawkus Records. A case study in mismanagement.

naptown drew said...

I've noticed Maurice Jones-Drew has a nice, big ass before.

Or not.

lost said...

where did they find a sister with an ass that small in The Great Pumpkin Patch known as DC? She got a junior high ass. But those thighs...

there's nothing else I can add to this that j4b couldn't say better with pictures.

Jackin'4Beats said...

So come on NFL, we want to see a bit more ass next season. But don't go cutting back on them tit-ays

@UM: I second that motion and file an appeal for Daniel Snyder to make this lovely lady part of the Redskinettes next season.

@lost: I got your back my man.

lost said...

sir, it would appear that you do

an apple a day...

Mark said...

In my opinion, the best hip-hop album around. Black on Both sides changed my musical tastes by itself. Still listen to it.

As for Rawkus, they seem to be making a push to get back in the scene. They released a record by Kids in the Hall which was solid. The new Panacea is great and Procussions are also solid.

John S. said...

Kierkegaard?

Kant? Sure. Hume? Yes. Schopenhauer? Without doubt (the choice you should have made). But Soren?

Wrong Philosopher.

Yeah yeah... I know the aesthete was the subject of the "Either" portion of Either/Or, but, to classify Kierkegaard as an aesthetic philosopher is simply wrong.

Yes... my panties are, officially, in a bunch.

fallex said...

Black Star and Company Flow were light years ahead of Mos' first solo effort. Now that I think, Train of Thought blew it out, too.

lost said...

john, how can you be so sure? have you ever seen his tits?

5150 said...

Fuck, I'm going to ravage my wife tonight thinking about those first two pictures.

Unsilent Majority said...

Fucking Philosophy majors...

the only reason i wrote this post is because i was listening to Mos in the car on the ride home from work last night. but yeah, black star (and reflection eternal) are better albums.

Unsilent Majority said...

thinking about those first two pictures.

RACIST!

feep said...

careful what you wish for. next year linemen might be wearing those same shorts that cooley likes to sport.

John S. said...

"fucking philosophy majors"

I suppose I would prefer to be a "fucking philosophy major" than a "non-fucking phiosophy major".

I mean, now that I think about it... that is not a bad deal. The only two adjectives used to describe me refer to the love of wisdom and the fact that I am in a perpetual state of sexual activity ("fucking" being the present progressive form of the verb).

I can think of worse things to be called.

P.S. However, upon further reflection, I can happily eschew the "wisdom" part and just envision myself in a perpetual state of coitus with a hot girl named "Sophia".

yeah....

oh yeah....

right there.....

I'm going to... wait... when I say "I" am I referring to myself in the ontological sense or in the absract notion of... OH YES!!!

*snore*

lost said...

I left my "Hyper intellectual douchebag" crown around here somewhere...there you go...try it on...yep.

it fits ya, but i might just keep it.

John S. said...

keep it.

not my style.

ben said...

Perhaps the only thing Gregggggggg Easterbrook is consistently right about is the amazing quality difference in the pre-Snyder and post-Snyder cheerleader regimes in Washington.

I'm telling you, it's like that deleted scene in "Confidence" with Dustin Hoffman. The man knows what sells.

lost said...

son, you got no style.

i'm more worried about myself, and the possibility that I sound like you.

John S. said...

Who are you calling "son", kid?

Worried about sounding like me?

Is that like when inner city kids chastize one another for sounding "too smart?"

Or perhaps are you worried that if you sounded like me, you might have to back it up with actual knowledge?

Pray... do tell.

(Can't we all just get along?)

Unsilent Majority said...

Perhaps the only thing Gregggggggg Easterbrook is consistently right about is the amazing quality difference in the pre-Snyder and post-Snyder cheerleader regimes in Washington.

I'll take your word for it.

John S. said...

I used to like TMQ. However, somewhere along the way, he started phoning it in. Then, he just got really weird.

Can't remember the last time I read his column.

lost said...

I'm sure you may know some useful things, that somehow assist you in performing whatever functionary role you perform in our society.

But I'm also sure nobody here gives a shit, myself included.

lost said...

btw, the phrase you were looking for is "too white" not "too smart."

until you figure out they aren't synonymous, no, we cannot get along.

John S. said...

lost - seemingly you gave enough of a shit to comment, several times now.

John S. said...

lost - actually, I have head the "too smart" comment made may times.

And, yes, I do recognize a palpable and meanigful distinction between "too smart" and "too white".

I mean... DUH!

lost said...

yeah, but i'm only concerned with what you don't know. not what you know. because that's what's funny to me.

lost said...

well, that's just fucking sad. and what, pray tell, do you do to help these kids deal with their self-loathing presuppositions? file it away to use as ammunition in some pointless argument with a faceless dickhead in the comments section of a sportsblog devoted to dick jokes?

hopefully more than just that.

Jackin'4Beats said...

RaFlaWa!!!!!!

And for a change, I didn't incite it by bitching out thenaturalmevs.

OK, ok, calm down and relax by staring at this...or this.

And Black Star's album is still hot 20 years from now. I know because I have a time machine.

Matt said...

I like ass as much as the next dude, but I'd a mile of shit just to see where it came out of that blond chick.

Adam W said...

Since when does MTV play music videos???

lost said...

j4b- you da man.

luckily, i had 42" on tap to calm myself down.

seriously, though, if I sound 10% as douched-out as that guy, I should go away and never come back.