Sunday, November 4, 2007

Jon Polito Hears KSK is a Good Egg

Listen, Mac: I don't aim to waste your time. I don't feel any particular antipathy toward you and yours and you probably feel likewise. I'm just trying to give you the skinny, the score. Pin back your eyes for a moment and don't raise any rumpus. This daylight savings time has me all out of sorts.

What we need here is a return to the norm, the norm being defined as the tradition of a single year. That, of course, is the election of Kissing Suzy Kolber as the internet's best sports blog, as defined by a sample size of a tinker's damn, if you pardon my Gallic tendencies. That's what we've come to value as order, something the Italian families valued above all else. Because, if there's anything Italians are known for, it's getting things done in time, and screwing over the schmatas.

Don't give me the high hat, just hear me out. I know I'm not the pulchritude of a Lucy Pinder, but I'm a man who knows what he likes. And what I like is being type cast as a voluble old-timey gangster. I can speak in hard boiled slang until the chippies come home or wherever it is they distribute Carnal Knowlege correctly.

15 comments:

impresario919 said...

Who knew Ape could write funny shit? That was almost Drew-ian.

Lord Farceface said...

He's also good as world-weary yet loveable law-officer types (see Homicide: Life On The Street; Highlander, et al).

flubby said...

"I'm a brother shamus!"

"A Brother Seamus? What, like an Irish monk?"

Captain Caveman said...

Thanks for your approval, Impresario. That was almost a worthwhile comment. Very nearly Otto Man-esque.

peter king crowned my ass said...

Yes, but where are his breasts?

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

Under his XXXL short-sleeve dress shirt.

Punch Rockgroin said...

When I said I'd like to see something with a huge chest and bald where it counts, this is not what I meant.

naptown drew said...

American Gangster is good and all, but I suspect most KSK readers will be looking forward to his work in Cougar Club.

Otto Man said...

That was almost a worthwhile comment. Very nearly Otto Man-esque.

I knew standards were low around this place, but that's just sad.

Still, thank you. I think.

Greg Schuler said...

There was no conspiracy. Boothe shot Lincoln - end of story.

No wonder they made him eat his gun. Annoying.

Jez said...

Sweet! Miller's Crossing is one of my favorites! Nice job. You yegs should get the award!

John S. said...

What do Italians have against shoddy clothing?

(i.e. someone needs a refresher in Yiddish)

Christmas Ape said...

john s.: someone need a refresher in Coen Bros. movies

John S. said...

Hey... that might be!

I loved Miller's Crossing, but, only saw it once.

ben said...

Hey, there's somebody who won't give you the high hat.