Sunday, November 18, 2007

I'm Gonna Stab You, Pete Morelli


And when I'm done stabbing you, I'mma stab that goalpost. Think you're pretty clever, don't you Mr. Goal post? Well, me and Mr. Knife don't take too kindly to that shit. No more doinkin' for you.

Nobody makes Ray Lewis come back out of the locker room. I was mid-dance, you fucks.

24 comments:

Christopher said...

Shouldn't this be tagged "Kill, Kill, Kill"?

Hewerman said...

Meanwhile, John Madden has been day dreaming about giving Tom Brady a rimjob throughout the entire late game.

H Cuz said...

@ hewerman: And it'll be more of the same next week.

Kill me now.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Maybe Al Michaels will toss his salad at the end of the game.

Bstone said...

Did anyone else see Madden call out Michaels for having "just drunk the Kool Aid" during the post game? Al got reeeeal awkward. I tried to Youtube it but fucked up my DVR.

Robert said...

19-0, baby.

To all us Pat fans who sat our fat asses on those frigid metal benches of that crappy tinfoil stadium for years, hoping one day the drunken Sullivan's would take the game seriously and stop offering up such perennial losers, well, I've got good news for you all; our day has come.

19-0, and not a sole left to stop it.

Enjoy it, baby

SlideShow Bob said...

Dear robert:

............./´¯/)...........(\¯`\
............/....//..............\\....\
.........../....//................\\....\
...../´¯/..../´¯\.........../¯`\....\¯`\
.././.../..../..../.|_......_|.\....\....\...\.\..
(.(....(....(..../.)..)..(..(.\....)....)....).)
.\................\/.../....\...\/................/
..\................. /........\................../
....\..............(............)............../
......\.............\.........../............./

P.S. No a sole left to stop it huh? we will just see what a Eli Manning has to say about that.(oh dear g-d let it not come down to the Giants)

allie said...

"we will just see what a Eli Manning has to say about that."

you could make this statement in reference to almost anything, and it would be hilarious. but particularly in this case.

also, sole is a fish. soul maybe?

Robert said...

@Slideshow

Eli is one of those QB's Evil Bill sends home in a body bag. But that aside, I was actually refering to the Steelers, who may be a .500 ballclub if they played in the East.

/stab stab

Carson said...

greatest karmic moment of all time coming up when Bellichick plays his starters vs the Giants with home-field wrapped up, and the blitz happy giants rough Brady and Moss up, leading to a New England loss in their first playoff game.

(injuries preferably happening during a meaningless drive with the pats up 35 and 6 min left in the 4th...)

here's to you robert

SlideShow Bob said...

"Eli is one of those QB's Evil Bill sends home in a body bag. But that aside, I was actually refering to the Steelers, who may be a .500 ballclub if they played in the East."

Im not quite sure what you mean here Robert. Oh yes Eli is surely not up to the caliber of the great playcallers of the AFC east like Pennington/Clemens, Losman/Edwards, and cant forget Cleo Lemon. While Eli isnt as good as Peyon or Romo who the Pats beat id like to think hes atleast near Horse Balls Anderson who had a decent game against the Pats.

quiet strength said...

Can we officially create a new word for Boston fans and people who suck equally? "Douchebag" just no longer does them justice.

Happy Fun Miles said...

quiet strength, that's why God invented the word "Douchenozzle".

Les Savy Ferd said...

sorry to air my inner nerd but unless the Pats go on to play in Atlantis, nobody's 'sole' is going to do a goddam thing about the win streak.

As a Bills fan who lives away from Buffalo, I think I've been able to watch 5 games in the past 3 years. I cannot remember a W and this year has already provided a horrible last second lost to Cowboys and what can only be described as a Madden NFL video game drubbing.

yikes.

BigFootFool said...

@robert yes, the patriots get no respect, and Boston has such shitty sports teams. We all know you guys feel slighted and you want us all to love your teams and put Ole Bill's nutts in our mouth, but get a grip... Please

quiet strength said...

@hfm - God. America's great linguist. I still think He can invent something stronger for the Boston fan level douche though.

@lsf - Have you ever considered going to a bar with NFL network and asking if they'd switch on the Bills game for you? It'd be laughs for all.

John John The Bastard said...

When he is done with Mr. Goalpost can God's Linebacker pay Robert a visit?

Gourmet Spud said...

Bunk: Another dead ref.
McNulty: 52 stab wounds. Some sick shit.
Bunk: Hold on, what's this?
McNulty: Deep, scattered footprints...
Bunk: Was the motherfucker that did this..dancin'?
McNulty and Bunk: (stare at each other)
Bunk: We got you this time, motherfucker.
McNulty: What's the fastest way to M&T?

Les Savy Ferd said...

@qs- Alas, I work on Sundees so its night games for me and apparently you have to be a successful team or something to get a prime-time slot, go figures.

Also, I actually had a real live Boston Area Sports Fan tell me the other day that he truly couldn't enjoy the success his teams were having because he, quote, "is used to rooting for the crappy teams he grew up with, and kinda sorta can't wait until the Pats and Sox slide back into mediocrity so they will be under-dogs again." I'd have to say it was the most retarded piece of self-deprecation I'd ever heard.

jmorrisking said...

Somewhere in Wisconsin, Brett Favre sobs mightily into a pillow filled with Vicoden as he realizes Madden has found a new arse to huff. Who has the worse man-crush: Madden and Brady or Peter King and Romo?

Jackin'4Beats said...

@ quiet strength: Please see my comment from a few days ago where I dubbed all Pats fans Massengills.

Why Massengills, you ask? Well, the whole Mass thing is self explanatory. And the product Massengill is a feminine hygiene product that all Pats fans can relate to...

quiet strength said...

That's very appropriate. I'm willing to bet that name was developed by someone who spent more time than they wanted in Boston. The thing is that I feel like the term douchebag has become too diluted, if that makes sense. Not as much of an insult as it once was. And these Boston fans have become such douchebags worthy of a new word. Sort of like whatever it was that inspired the first use of douchebag as an insult. Maybe they're "clausens" in honor of super-douche Jimmy. Maybe "hollingers" for that fucknuts store. I don't know - I'm not very good at that sort of thing. But if you could run with it in that direction, I'd be much obliged.

mamacita said...

Massengills is inspired.

dick_gozinia said...

Isn't using "ray lewis" and "stab" as tags a little redundant?