Sunday, November 11, 2007

Throwgasm!!!!!


I'm back, and I'm hornier than ever.

Look the fuck out, people. Hide your women and duct tape their vaginas shut. I got backload of seminal fluid that could flood Indonesia.

28 comments:

Jake said...

Duct tape cannot stop the Cannon's sperm.

Gourmet Spud said...

First conquest? Owners who started Greg Olsen and lost by one...fucking...point.

Good to have you back, Rex.

Mike said...

OMG...a 59 yard TD pass???? I think my daughter just got knocked up from the sex cannon again.

Happy Fun Miles said...

I have never been as excited as when I saw the Cannon was back in the NFL, and that the Cannon beat the Oaktown Raiders.

Men and Women of Oakland are advised to wear full-body condoms for the next 6 to 8 weeks.

Men and Women of Seattle, you are under a Throwgasm Watch. Conditions are favorable for a Steamy Throwgasm in the next 6-10 days.

VIVA LE SEX CANNON!

My Insignificant Life said...

It is a Sex Cannon Tsaumani....there were no survivors, only many satisfied.

Harris said...

I now know how Arnold felt in Junior

jforks said...

grossman to cedric benson is the new peter north/ron jeremy double team.

Brian said...

One touchdown

Four Raiders cheerleaders knocked up.

All in a day's work for the Slinger.

doug_plank said...

The King is back.

Seattle will not get a break.

Ryan said...

the first thing i did after i heard he was put back in the game was wonder how many cheerleaders he knocked up. and then i was even happier to find out we won. suck it oakland!

also, why was i supposed to care about the cowboys-giants game when i could have been watching the sex cannon?

Zach said...

I'M BRINGING REXYBACK!

Grimey said...

Spooge-nami?

TDizzle said...

The game was not televised here in IA. When I read the the recap on ChicagoSports.com and saw the cannon was back I knew I would see something like this. Way to go

Mike said...

Looks like the Cum Slinger is playing for Indy right now.

SarahS said...

Brex Griessman is our quarterback?

jrp said...

fo' shizzle my nizzle! the pimp daddy mack-mack-daddy-daddy mack is back jack, and what the F^%$#^ are ya gonna dew about it, byatch.

The Pirate Sloth said...

I'm seriously considering a Sex Cannon sign for the game next Sunday. It's be perfect for my endzone.

smurphette said...

Hopefully the triumphant return of the Sex Cannon will help me forget about the miserable displays I witnessed from the Colts and the Irish this weekend. (But I doubt it.)

* And here's to my dad, Ufford, and all the other veterans and current members of the armed forces in heartfelt apprecation of your service and sacrifice.

TR said...

I think he was only talking to Rachel Nichols when he said this, but it made the AP report on the game today:

"It was unbelievable, something you can't describe to someone who hasn't been in that position," Grossman said. "It's a great feeling to come in and be able to pull one out."

Sarah said...

YES

YES

OH GOD YES

ben said...

I'mmmmm baaaAAAAAccckkkk.

[/jacknicholson]

David said...

I'm grinning from ear to ear. This is undoubtedly the highlight of a shitty Bears season. Can't wait to hear the Chitown homers discuss this on the radio. Is the FCC cool with the term Cumslinger?

Permanent4 said...

smurphette: Wait, Ufford's your dad? Does he know about this?

Wormfather said...

Ufford's a lot of people's dads and he claims to no know about any of them.

My Insignificant Life said...

@ Wormfather said...
Ufford's a lot of people's dads and he claims to no know about any of them.


Sounds like he used to play in the NBA.

Dusty said...

Jesus-fucking-Christ..duct tape the vagina's? Won't those suckers be useless for a couple weeks after that? Unless they get brazilian wax jobs..then its ok I guess.

dick_gozinia said...

Kyle Orton's neckbeard is gently weeping.

smurphette said...

Very funny, permanent4. My dad's name is Tom, and he was a pilot in Vietnam.