The Redskins and Cowboys renew their historic rivalry in what a few weeks ago looked to be a compelling contest, but now appears to be an event that may not help Unsilent Majority in this moment of great blockage. The free agent era having eroded any sense of continuity in the league, the only enduring faces we've left with are those in the owner's box. And these two teams are stewarded by the most megalomaniacal men in the country who don't hold public office. If it weren't for these guys, it'd only be Redskins and Cowboys fans who'd make the teams unlikable. So, WHO YA GOT?
Dan Snyder_____________Jerry Jones
Bought team in
Franchise record since taking over (incld. postseason)
66-75, two playoff victories________171-135, three Super Bowl titles
Vinny Cerrato______________Wade Phillips
Napoleonic short knocker___________Criminally insane, but tensile
Charles Foster Kane, minus three feet___George Nelson from "O Brother Where Art Thou"
The media, trees on his property____________The boundaries of reason
Pals around with
Tom Cruise____Saudi ambassador Prince Bandar bin Sultan ("Bandar Bush")
When feeling blue
Awards 6-year contract to faded veteran_____Tittyfucks Wade
Raising ticket, parking lot prices___YYYEEEHHAWWW I AM FUCKING CRAZY