Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Will Leitch: A Day In the Life

I read the news today oh, boy
About a lucky man who made the grade

Will Leitch, our Patron Saint of the Blogosphere, is taking a deserved day off following the Cardinals' World Series victory. A lot of people (losers and/or stalkers) have been wondering how a guy could possibly tear himself away from his passion, and they've wondered how he'll fill the time. Once again KSK is here with all the answers to questions that you're too shy to ask. Let's all take a peek into a day off in the life of a loser.

To Do List

  • Read KSK, attempt to comprehend the brilliance
  • Find out how much Scott Spiezio made this season, convince Denton to double it
  • Sodomize that guy from Can't Stop the Bleeding
  • Call Tom Perrotta, ask him to reimburse 2 hours of life and $10
  • Check in on Deadspin's progress, demand more money from Gawker
  • Pose in front of some bricks in case somebody out there is taking pictures
  • Steal Bill Simmons' address book, tear out the page marked "Kimmel, Jimmy"
  • Pay somebody to kick Kimmel's ass
  • Update shrine to Andy Rooney
  • Dance like nobody is watching you, destroy the video evidence this time
  • Decide between Smells Like Teen Spirit and On a Plane for next book title
  • Sunbathing in Central Park with ARod
  • Prepare Mayoral campaign for Mattoon, Illinois
Hell, who needs Deadspin when you've got all of that to take care of in a single day. What else do you think Mr. Leitch might be doing today? Let us know in the comments.

7 comments:

HofC said...

7:30am:

Snooze

8:00am - 9:30am:

Watch last out of WS over and over and over....

9:30am - 2:30pm:

Shari yells at him to get a real job and stop hanging out with thes e freaks

2:30pm - 4:30pm

Check Deadspin constantly to see if he is mentioned in comments. Smoke a pack of Marlboros

4:30pm - 9:30pm

Shari yells at him to get a real job and stop hanging out with thes e freaks

9:30pm - 12:00am

Watch last out of WS over and over and over....

Fornelli said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Fornelli said...

Finally takes the time to see how he looks with feathered bangs.

KillBillWirtz said...

Orders a Nutty Buddy to prepare for his next meeting with a Deadspin commenter

The Dude said...

Dresses up as a Bee from a Blind Melon video for Halloween and goes around screaming, “I’m Will Leitch, bitch! Gimme some candy!”

Unsilent Majority said...

your dudeness- i can actually picture that in my mind...and the view is goooood

The General said...

Make sure he's got a clean white t-shirt and jeans to go with the leather jacket for his Arthur Fonzarelli Halloween costume.