Thursday, October 12, 2006

Deon Figures Can Replace Richardo Colclough, Too


Because Ben Roethlisberger is already doing his part by playing like Mike Tomczak, the Steelers' front office is doing everything they can to turn this into a remake of the 1996 season. (Hey, they were coming off a Super Bowl and lost to Jacksonville early in that one, too.)

The solution: As Willie Williams left Pittsburgh for big money in Seattle in the mid-'90s, only to return as a shell of his self in the mid-aughts, so too now will Chad Brown, who turned into a measty pass rusher for a year with the departure of Quiver (Kevin Greene) after '95 and the injury of Quake (Greg Lloyd) early in '96, then left for more money elsewhere the following year, as all attractive Pittsburgh free agents inevitably must. Fellas, I have bad news if you're planning on bringing back Justin Strzelczyk.

One key problem with Chad that shouldn't have been overlooked: He has Patriot stink all over him.

This particular move was necessitated by the hammy-hampering of the conglomeration of human oddities that is Joey Porter. I understand the rampant anti-Steelerism but I'm too worn out with this week to make a coherent joke about Porter: BYAH!Dogs!KissingCowher! That's all I got. I need sleep.

12 comments:

J.L. White said...

Would it be Anti-Steeleristic to remind everyone that Joey Porter got himeself shot in the ass once? Because, well, I like to bring it up whenever poossible.

Hey, where did Yancy Thigpen go?

flubby said...

Is Bam Morris available too?

And thanks to j.l. white for giving me an excuse to type "Nancy Pigpen"

DCThrowback said...

I love all the self-flaggelation going on in Steeler country. Relax - it's all going to be okay. You guys are going to roast the Chiefs and make a run at the wild card again. Breathe in - you'll be fine.

J.L. White said...

No, they're not fine. This team is getting exposed for being the Fraudulent Champs that they are, and are now suffering from the Super Bowl Loser's Curse -- the Curse knowing that rightful winner was robbed out of the trophy.

Hell, if you're a stupid motherfucker that believes in curses to begin with, then you HAVE to believe that this is true.

swing4 said...

What is hammy-hampering? Is that a real term I should know?

peytonloveskenny said...

Yeah. Those Fraudulent Champs. I mean, making a good play at the right time is fruadulent, right? If the Seahawks had actually, you know, made plays, they wouldn't have to bitch about the refs.

Sean Carter said...

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dusty said...

Christ, you just had to bring up Mike Tomczak? Thats fucking spiteful dude. Joey is a Cali resident..does that make him a bag of batshit?..perhaps. But I aint' buying. The whole team has post SB egos..they got what they had coming. In the NFL you can not live on your past laurels..suck it up and deal..It isn't Joeys fault they suck pond scum..the whole team took a powder. Joey's biggest faux paux is owning friggin pitbulls, which is a Bako tradition btw..and being on the cover of SI.

If you dont' buy that..I got more..

Wickedmick said...

http://www.steelerssuck.com

Nothing else to say.

Canadian Bobsled Champ said...

Why are we still bitching about shit that happened last season? I thought we all came to a consensus when Sienna Miller called it Shittsburgh. Story over.

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos said...

I think 'hammy-hampering' is what Najeh Davenport does after Christmas dinner.

DCThrowback said...

Told you, idiots.