Thursday, October 26, 2006

Baseball: Still Gay

"Hey man."

"Hey, buddy. What's up."

"Nuthin much, bro. Hey, do you wanna go play some BASEBALL?"

"Sure, man."


"Cool. Hey wait."

"What's the matter?"

"Look up there. That.."

"Oh, no. That looks like RAIN."

"Dear me."

"We can't play baseball in THE RAIN."

"No way, man. We'd get WET."



"What's up?"


"Yeah. We should WAIT."




"Hey man."

"Hey, buddy. What's up."

"Nuthin much, bro. Is it still raining?"

"Well, considering my shit is sopping wet, I believe it is."

"No good, man. Hey, I'm rather drenched myself."

"Yeah, we should have waited for the rain to stop INSIDE."

"Or at least under a medium-sized awning."

"I guess there will be no BASEBALL today."

"What do we do now?"

"Let's take off our wet clothes and play Madden."

"Yeah. We should play Madden."




Rob I said...

John Rocker has really fallen on hard times. Nice pink hat.

Bad Barbecue said...

Hey guy?
Yeah, man.
Hand me my keys?
Yeah, where are they?
In my purse, over there.
Oh, I see. Let me reach....OH!
What's up, guy?
I think I pulled something.
Yeah, that looked bad.
That'll put me on the DL for sure.
Definately. Here, let me rub it.
Oh, that's great. I'm still not playing though.

Big AL said...

can we drag baseball behind our truck?

Unsilent Majority said...


Claude Balls said...

That's the difference between Tony LaRussa and Whitey Herzog. Whitey never would have put up with that crap.

peytonloveskenny said...

I was just arguing with my roommate earlier today about how stupid baseball is and that baseball players are pussies because they don't play when it rains.

robustyoungsoul said...

If you are a fan of neverending, 0-0 tie games because it is extremely difficult to hit a round wet ball with a round wet bat, then by all means, play some baseball in the rain.

Of course, it's hard to grip a wet ball so it could actually just turn out to be walk fest, which is also exciting.

Hmmm.... "grip a wet ball"... that didn't help my case.

Unsilent Majority said...

That's what pine tar is for

peytonloveskenny said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
robustyoungsoul said...

Wait - you're calling baseball gay when every play in football involves the most important player shoving his hands right up into the junk of another player- who is in fact bent over and throwing his ass up into the air?

Big AL said...

Good gay bar names:
the bullpen
the dug out
the pitching mound
pine tar
bat and balls
the catcher
the Out field
the reliever

play along, wont you

Monday Morning Punter said...

Other gay bar names:

The Foul Pole

Behind In The Count

Dusty Baker's

robustyoungsoul said...

split ends
between the tackles
yellow hanky
the center exchange
neutral zone infraction

robustyoungsoul said...

west coast offense
run and gun

Big AL said...

Run and Gun is so hetero it almost made me like baseball

Bad Barbecue said...

double switch
in under the tag
pop up to center
naked pull-ups
Sid Bream
Off-Shore Drilling

(that last one is the name of the gay bar here in town)

Big AL said...

sweet spot
around the horn
the dinger
th asstros

8hrdrive said...

2 Bagger

8hrdrive said...

Double Header....

I could do this forever...wait, strike that.

Esera Tuaolo said...

Paul Tagliabue's son's place

Bad Barbecue said...

chew and spit
scuffed balls
underage bat-boy
pop-up lost in the son

rear naked choke

Bad Barbecue said...

sackfest is a good one though

Monday Morning Punter said...

The Pitching Rubber.

Hit and Run.

Utility Man.

Bill Simmons' Column.

Awful Chief said...


Brigadier Pudding said...

the green monster
rubber arm
good cheese
joe buck
tape measure
going the other way

cecil_espy said...

Long relief
Safety squeeze
The High Hard One
Reaching for Uncle Charlie
Good wood on it
Double bagger

Curt Schilling

Bad Barbecue said...

The Rubber Arm will do it. Thanks for your submissions.


Awful Chief said...


Designated Hitters
Five Tool Players

Captain Caveman said...

Bloop singles
Off the wall
Out of leftfield
Chin music

Big AL said...

brush-back mountain.

thank you, Ill be here all week.

C. said...

Infield Fly Rule
Foul Territory
Suicide Squeeze

And a Red Sox special: Big Papi's and Manram.

swing4 said...

The Pickle.

They burned that flag, right?

burma jones said...

Backup Catcher
Tarry Helmets
The Breaking Ball

You can keep your cheerleaders, Football!

Chamomiles Davis said...

The Slider
The Spitter
The Knuckler
The Screwball (or Scroogie)