Monday, October 16, 2006

I, Too, Was Excited About Chad Brown's Sack, But C'mon


If you're a Steelers fan, there was a lot to be happy about from yesterday's ass-reaming of Kansas City: Ben Roethlisberger showing that he's able, at least, to hit uncovered receivers for touchdowns, knowing for certain that Troy Polamalu's hair is not a wig, or if it is, that he certainly has it secured well. (See, I avoided an insipid and racially insensitive Chiefs-scalping joke.) Willie Parker and Najeh Davenport running pretty much at will, and, of course, winning by 38 points.

Steelers fans, renowned for their restraint, were by and large able to celebrate this much-needed win with admirable forbearance - no public humiliating kids wearing Chiefs apparel, for example, and, thank God, no Steeler Baby appearances.

But there are always a few bad apples, and as usual, it's the damn fire fighters causing all the ruckus. Seriously, this city was nice before all the fire fighters moved in from wherever it is they come from and drove my property values down.

From the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: (emphasis added)
A Pittsburgh firefighter, Martin Sanders, was awaiting arraignment today on charges that he fought with guards and police officers at Heinz Field yesterday after they apprehended him for allegedly exposing himself at the stadium.

The employee was kicked in the groin as Mr. Sanders tried to flee. As he struggled to get away, police said, Mr. Sanders struck a security guard.

Before he was placed in handcuffs, he kicked another policeman in the knee and hurled profanities at him and other officers, police said.

While in the restraints, Mr. Sanders tried to head-butt another policeman, the same officer who had been kicked in the knee.

To subdue him, officers zapped him twice with a Taser.
See, once you let in the fire fighters, you have to let in the cops as well. And that just leads to turf battles and inevitable scuffles. These people are giving the always orderly and clear-headed Steelers fanbase a bad name. What would Sienna Miller say? (WWSMS can be a new shorthand for Pittsburgh-related embarassments, I think) Probably not much, as the rail thin Britcunt doesn't have the daily caloric intake to muster the strength to speak four sentences.

But still - can't we just send these people, these firemen, away from our city where they don't embrace our culture of civility or speak our Yinzer language? DER TERKING UR JERBS!

6 comments:

JoSCh said...

Why are they going to arrest him for exposing himself? He just wanted in on some Cowher/Porter/Sanders action. Damn the religious right!

Otto Man said...

As a Chiefs fan, that may be the only good news to come out of that game -- they tasered a Steelers fan. One down, a neckless horde to go.

I don't have much hope they'll get the rest. They're armed with towels, after all. Terrible towels, even.

swing4 said...

The taser manufacturers of America owe a serious debt to the NFL.

Also, no photo of the fireman in the act? And you call yourself a journalist.

Big Jim Slade said...

they apprehended him for allegedly exposing himself at the stadium

Where was Larry Johnson to tackle him by the pubes?

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Hollywood Wags said...

I watched that guy get tasered...I said to my buddies as the cops were driving him to the floor, "I bet that guy gets tasered"...and he got tasered.

But with his gut, could anyone have been sure that he exposed himself? He was a big fat slob.