Ben Roethlisberger has revealed that after he suffered a concussion in Atlanta Sunday, he was taunted by the Falcons as he lay on the field. When pressed for names and details, Roethlisberger demurred. Nonetheless, the crack staff at KSK Labs has been feverishly reviewing audio of the game and come up with their best guesses at what exactly the Falcons said to Big Ben.
"That's for ruining Christmas Ape's fantasy football team!"
"Fuck Chunky! Dinty Moore, bitch!"
"Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!!!"
"Yeah bitch, now you need ANOTHER appendix transplant!"
"I whole-heartedly deride your gridiron handiwork."
"This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry!"
"I'm Chauncey Davis and I approved this message!!!"
[What? You think you can do better? Give us your best guess in the comments.]
Update: Somone brought to our attention the increasing similarity between Big Ben and Donald "Ogre" Gibb (Revenge of the Nerds, Bloodsport, 1st & Ten). The two are headed toward an inevitable showdown on "Who's More Grizzled?"