Sunday, October 8, 2006

Bill Cowher Finds Your Lack Of Hands Disturbing

Pittsburgh Steelers nickelback and fucktard punt-dropping specialist Richardo Colclough was placed on Injured Reserve late this week with what was described as a "mysterious" neck injury. Coming as it does two weeks after the team's last game in which Colclough cost the Steelers a win against the Bengals (we're all choosing to ignore Roethlisberger's two interceptions in the endzone, 'course) one can't help but cast an askance look at the news.

KSK obtained a recording of a meeting following a practice this week that we feel may shed some light on the issue:

Cowher: Lieutenant Colclough.

Colclough: Yes, m'Lord?

Cowher: What became of the punt that was sent into our sector in the 4th quarter?

Colclough: It evaded my radar, Lord. The enemy was able to recover it. You have my word that it will never happen aga...accckkkkukkk (inaudible)

Cowher: Your word is of little use to me, lieutenant. Send in Lieutenant Willie Reid.

Reid: Yes, Lord?

Cowher: You're to assume Lieutenant Colclough's post during his untimely absense. See to it that you do not suffer his fate.

Reid: (swallows hard) Yes, Lord.

12 comments:

burnplant said...

hmmm. You were just quoted on NFL Countdown. Talking about the Philly-Dallas game and the TO circus, one of the guys (Palantonio maybe) said "one of the blogs said, 'Philadelphia fans have an opportunity to make history with sports violence...'"

something like that. Clearly it was from your post earlier this week on what to throw at TO...

Bender said...

You know you've made it in the world when Sal Pal is quoting you.

Otto Man said...

Does this mean we can now refer to Cowher as "Dark Helmet"?

peytonloveskenny said...

On a side note: Colclough is now in his fourth year in the NFL, but on Madden they still pronounce his name "Coclaw" instead of "Coakley" and it pisses me off.

dusty said...

Madden is a old,fat bag of shit who probably can't pronounce his sisters name.

peytonloveskenny said...

That may be true, but I have the 360 version of the game, so Madden and Michaels aren't the announcers.

Big Daddy Drew said...

If anyone can provide a YouTube of the SalPal report, I'll happily post it and credit you.

peytonloveskenny said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
peytonloveskenny said...

ESPN posted the video here. You have to open it in a new window in Firefox, though.

Matt said...

So it's true that madden '07 on the 360 doesn't actually have Madden as an announcer? And all this time I thought my copy had the best glitch ever.

Matt said...

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Big Al said...

Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.