Friday, October 27, 2006

Dallas assistant coach sues McDonald's after finding metaphor for Cowboys' season in salad

As we learned from the Simpsons years ago, you don't win friends with salad. Now it appears that McDonald's may have made an enemy with their salad-- in the form of Dallas assistant coach Todd Haley.

Haley and his family is suing McDonald's for $1.7 million dollars after his wife and au pair (bow chicka wow wow) found a dead rat in their salad back in June. Haley had a much publicized run-in with Terrell Owens earlier this season.

"The dead rodent, believed to be a juvenile roof rat, was about 6 inches long and was found on its back with its mouth opened..."
Authorities are investigating the situation and noted that it appears that the rat died of an overdose of painkillers.
No chance something like this happens to Bill Parcells--
that tubby bastard hasn't so much as looked at a salad in 25 years.

11 comments:

Monday Morning Punter said...

Painkillers?

Did this rat, by chance, have a propensity for "gunslingling?"

Bad Barbecue said...

If Parcells did find a dead rat in his food, I don't think it would slow him down.

Monday Morning Punter said...

*gunslinging.

It's too early.

doug_plank said...

McDonald's new "Lower East Side Salad"

Now with 100% more vermin!!!

Big Jim Slade said...

Like my boy says, if it tastes like a rat...

Unsilent Majority said...

Jeff Garcia thought the "rat" had a nice ass

Grimey said...

I will now have "Last Dead Mouse" by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones stuck in my head all day. Thank you, McDonald's.

the dude said...

Rat is considered a delicacy in some countries. Mostly third world.

JoSCh said...

Why would TO need to work at McDonalds?

The Pirate Sloth said...

Why didn't Jerry Jones offer the rat a ridiculous contract and demand to start him this season? It seems that the rat - though dead - shows the mental toughness good old Jerry likes to bring to the Cowboys. Cases in point: Irvin, Sanders, TO, Bledsoe, Glenn, Keyshawn. That rat would have fit right in.

J.L. White said...

Why do I get the funny feeling that TO planted that rat in the salad of Todd Haley's wife? Was it to dissuade Haley from trying to coach TO? Will Bill Parcells soon find a dead rat hidden underneath his gigantic man boob? This incident raises a lot of questions in my head.