Tuesday, June 5, 2007

She's Cognizant Of Us. She's Really, Really Cognizant Of Us

As has been mentioned in this space recently, we six of KSK have been toiling away at this for round about a year now, with little reward or recompense beyond basking in our own pissed excellence. Sure, there have been awards, drugs and a measure of blogosphere fame, but what does it all mean without a connection to the progenitors of our efforts? Those two noble, buoyant souls who formed a totemic dyad - sideline reporter and debauched former quarterback - that inspired unspeakable things in all of this.

Caveman caught up with our blogfather back in February and snapped a photo with him before Namath could say he was going out for a pack of smokes and be out of our lives for good. But Suzy? She has been defined by her silence, her absence, her nose. Long have we waited for some motherly validation from our Patron Saint.

Well, shucks, here it is.

The incident made Kolber something of a cult figure. She's now the namesake of a sports blog called "Kissing Suzy Kolber." She said she's seen it, but "I rarely, even beyond rarely, read anything about myself."

Now, flattering as it is that the Patron Saint is vaguely, even beyond vaguely, aware of the occasional football satire and commenter drafts being carried out in her name, one gets the idea that her take on it is that this blog is some sort of chronicle of the goings-on in her life. I'd like to think that that's what she wants it to be and is miffed that it isn't. Certainly there have been times that we've wondered about ol' Suze but, on the whole, she doesn't make up much of our content. Clearly, she's frustrated about not reading more about herself and is hellbent about doing something about it.



What then, dear commenters, will Suzy be doing to garner our attention?

33 comments:

Otto Man said...

A journalistic exposé of the criminal justice system, broadcast from deep inside Paris Hilton.

What? Too soon?

Dsanchez said...

Who did that sweet photoshop work on the picture.

BeaverFever said...

releasing a home made sex tape (like paris hilton, i see a theme developing here today) with lots of hot lesbian action would definitely garner some attention here.

Oh man... I just shot Marvin in the Face said...

Suzy can kiss my Irish ass if she doesnt like this blog... its the only one IVE found that isnt gay.

Vanilla said...

I don't get it. She says in the article that she's always wanted to be in sports, but isn't she doing NASCAR now?

The Last Unitard said...

I think a suicide bombing in the WWL cafeteria oughtta do the trick.

Jimbromski said...

Serving as a power bottom in LA County Correction Facility for Women.

Big Daddy Drew said...

I know I should not eat thee, but...

Awful Chief said...

How is Adam so flaccid?

Otto Man said...

I know I should not eat thee, but...

Mmmmmm. Sacrilicious.

the butler said...

Heh...she likes "a long nose" on her car.

From the other side of town said...

Start "line-drying" her undergarments.

Pick up an endorsement contract from a Tequila distillery.

Drink a dozen Tequila shots (non-endorsed) until 1:30 a.m., start a bar fight with at least one other woman, get her picture taken not wearing any panties.

Peter McSheisty said...

Elaine: No. "Suze!" I mean, "Susie!" "Suzanne!" "Suzanna." Fine! But there is no, way, I'm gonna be a Suze.

Jerry: No. No Suze.

BeaverFever said...

getting a picture taken with no panties is always a good way to get some attention. btw, shaved or unshaved ? any thoughts ?

Burnsy said...

In related news, Scarlett Johansson is aware that I pleasure myself to her pictures, but she rarely, even beyond rarely, is not stuffing some a-lister's cock inside her to care.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Hanging out with Melissa Stark trying to get some tips on how to have sex with a group of drunken lacrosse players.

Once she figures it out, becoming the post-game entertainment at all MLL games.

wv: caitika. The name for Paris' new super-disease.

Wormfather said...

She shoudl have done the obvious on that fatful day and kiss this sites blogfather. Fuck that, that's Joe Willy Namoth, she shoudl have blown him on the spot.

Now, she's the fredo in this story.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

As for whether she might one day shift from sports to news:

"No," she said without hesitation. "I've always loved sports. That's what I've always wanted to do. It's the only reason I'm on television."



I'm a sports gal, mama. A sideline jockey. We think differently than the news and weather girls... we're a different breed.

Brian said...

I think she needs to mercilessly beat your ass in a March Madness pool and exact her revenge.

mmmm beefy said...

I only she know the pooping on towels that went on under her name she would change her tune

Crazy Little Thing said...

I smell a lawsuit. Wait--that's the Indian food I had for lunch. Sorry.

Matt said...

she could take up dog fighting...would work well for KSK on a few levels

Suss said...

<lindarichman>

Kissing Suzy Kolber is neither about kissing nor Suzy Kolber. Discuss.

</lindarichman>

There. I feel better.

College Wolf said...

Find *pictures* of her...

mamacita said...

@beaverfever-- she shaved KSK into her pubic region. And dyed it orange, blue and gray.

The Pirate Sloth said...

She could do a model shoot with KSK clothing on! Baby-T, thong, T-shirt, hat, etc.

Totally pitch that to her.

Tracer Bullet said...

I've got a list of things Suzy should be doing, but they're mostly illegal, entirely immoral and in some case include the risk of painful (though pleasurable) death.

Or she could be photographed stripping at a gay nightclub a la Paige Davis. Better still, she could be photographed stripping Paige Davis.

spidergirl24 said...

What's the big deal? A sportswriter asked her about the blog site. She's right. You rarely write anything specifically about her. At least she's check out the site. Now get over yourselves and stop acting like asses.

Bloof said...

They're not acting.

Rick Muscles said...

Suzy kolber interviewed me when i played d 3 football......... that's not true.

The Sporting Orange said...

"I rarely, even beyond rarely, read anything about myself."

This obviously means that Suzy reads the blog religiously, but hardly ever sees any content on the site about herself.

Robocats said...

Clearly, she's going to get plastered and make out with Joe Montana during a sideline interview. Alack! Broadway Joe was just a little ahead of his time.

Bloof said...

@the sporting orange: Nice bold tags. Way to be, um, bold.

You realize, now, that if we ever have a smackoff, I have one hand tied behind my back because nothing rhymes with orange.