Friday, June 22, 2007

This Week’s KSK Commenter Mock Draft: Fantasy Football 2007


Yep, that’s right. An actual discussion of football right on this here site. Never thought you’d see the day, did you?

The best part of fantasy football is how it helps get us, the football-bereft citizens, through the horrors of late June to August. You’d be surprised how much time you can eat up convincing yourself Wes Welker will be a great sleeper pick. And so, let us get the ball rolling with a rough draft. No stat sheets in front of you. No refreshing your memory of last season. No checking bye weeks. This one’s all gut. Consider it a fundamentals drill.

The rules: Let us assume this is a nonkeeper league. You start 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 RB/WR, 1 TE, 1 K, and 1 D, with 5 bench spots. 13 players total. No points for receptions.

1pt. = 10 yds run/rec or 25 yds passing
4pts. = passing TD
6pts. = run/rec TD, Defense/ST TD
-2pts. = fumble or INT
3pts. = FG
5pts. = FG 50+
1pt. = extra point or sack

PICK 1 PLAYER ONLY, THEN WAIT 12 PICKS UNTIL YOU MAKE ANOTHER SELECTION.


Oh, and I’ll be taking LT2 now. Suckers. He’s fun because he makes the Seahawks look dumb!

Have at it.

144 comments:

BeaverFever said...

reggie bush

Burnsy said...

Lawrence Maroney, obviously.

larry burns said...

frank gore

Wormfather said...

I'm gonna go with Vick, Mike, he's bound to bounce back from last season.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Larry Johnson. It's nice to get to the party early.

larry burns said...

@herc

gonna get hurt no way he holds up after 416 carries.

grungedave said...

Steven Jackson, bitches.

Wormfather said...

@herc, yeah, I'd be very weary of him under the Herminator.

Brother Joshua said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. F. Magoo said...

Randy Moss

Sh!tShow said...

Peyton Manning, especially if he can throw at childrens' heads.

The Kid said...

Peyton Manning, ya i'm that guy

Otto Man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hercules Rockefeller said...

Sheesh. I'm getting killed for a guy that's had back to back 1700yd seasons? He's got another good year in him before his legs fall off completely.

Hercules Rockefeller said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Kid said...

goddammit sh!tshow, you must have gotten me by 10 seconds, im taking Julius Jones

Otto Man said...

Alright, I'll roll the dice ... Shaun Alexander.

But Reggie Bush with the #2 pick? Really?

Uncle Ted McKinney said...

Chicago Defense.

I'm that guy.

BeaverFever said...

bush can run and catch. very versatile. upping his td odds.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Portis.

larry burns said...

who woulda thought taht this would be the slowest one yet.

Otto Man said...

I can run and catch too, but it doesn't mean I'm worth the second pick.

And I'm not even splitting carries with Deuce McAllister.

BeaverFever said...

willie parker

Burnsy said...

Oh BDD, already gone, buddy.

I'm thinking about starting the run on kickers, but I'll go with Thomas Jones.

larry burns said...

yah but receptions dount count so the catching loses value, hes good but not second pick good.ps who thinks drwe is using this as asome sort of audtition for the lague and has a bunch of people in mind but is going to let someonein who deosn't take his sleepers?

BeaverFever said...

we will wait and see otto man. maybe bush is a high risk high reward type of pick , but you can't deny his versatility.

Burnsy said...

And my Maroney pick was obviously a joke, but the more I think about him busting through the goal line, screaming "OH YEAHHHHHH!" I get fucking amped.

Otto Man said...

Versatility makes a Transformer.

I'll take an every-down back in that spot.

larry burns said...

@ burnsy

i think that this needs to be added into madden, every time he scors madden just screams that.

TurleyGirlie said...

Not gonna make a pick...just gonna point out that I have LT2 in my keeper league.


That's right. I won the Big One last year.


(What good is it if you can't brag? And, no, I am not trying to get into your gay FF league.)

Burnsy said...

Or just have the giant Kool-Aid burst through the screen. This is a million dollar idea. Kool-Aid had grape flavor, right?

The Kid said...

I'm like mothafuckin clockwork, i can't go past the second round without taking anquan boldin. one of my flaws in life

BeaverFever said...

otto man is your questioning of bush with the #2 pick have anything to do with his last name ? (just kidding)

larry burns said...

my problem or strategy is take all colts my team last year was manning addaai rhodes harrison clark wayne and colts d.


i have a problem.

Otto Man said...

I can't believe I'm getting the boring consistency of Rudi Johnson in round two. Wheee!

And my Reggie Bush bashing has nothing to do with my George Bush bashing.

larry burns said...

i will take travis henry in the second round.
seeing a huge year in denver

Grimey said...

Ronnie Brown.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Dammit Larry. Fine, I'll take Carson Palmer....if his receivers can stay out of prison.

Grimey said...

My problem is that I take Lamont Jordan in the second round because my roommate's goddamn magazine says I should.

grungedave said...

I think that's 12...

so I'll take Willis McGahee, and also will claim dibs on all of his bastard offspring.

Sh!tShow said...

Harrrison.

Otto Man said...

Don't cry for Grimey. He's already dead.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Tom Brady.

Otto Man said...

Steve Smith

larry burns said...

not a pick but i am having fun watching these

http://thesnagwire.com/joomla/On-The-Web/The-Most-Entertaining-Sports-Fights-Ever.html

BeaverFever said...

carson palmer

Hercules Rockefeller said...

too late beaver

The Kid said...

I'm going to take Vernon Davis because he's a monster and i'm also going to end my draft there, but im still gonna hang around and make fun of people for drafting the Domanick Davises of the world (i realize he changed his name but im too hungover to care right now)

BeaverFever said...

sorry, missed it. i'll take bulger

Rob I said...

Donovan McNabb

I owe the guy.

Chris said...

Larry Johnson, aka the dynasty, is going to hold out this year.

I'm going with the worst player available (I can't be bothered to check if this is true), just because I love seeing his pouty "I suck" face after overthrowing his receiver. That's right, I'm taking none other than Mr. Eli Manning.

Burnsy said...

I'll take Kenny Irons.

The Kid said...

this is going really slow this morning. i think people prefer talking about their favorite drinking games and best nude scene in a movie than actually talking football

BeaverFever said...

way slower than expected.

Otto Man said...

I hate playing the waiting game. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos instead.

BeaverFever said...

yeah, we need to speed this up

feep said...

Joey Harrington... starter for the Atlanta Falcons.

I don't feel the need to defend this pick. The pick speaks for itself.

Grimey said...

How about 12 picks or 15 minutes... I don't know if we have 12 people participating still..

The Kid said...

if all else fails, we could always start up a porn star draft

BeaverFever said...

good idea grimey.

Jason said...

I'll take Kevin Jones, of the Lions. Yes, I have been drinking.

Grimey said...

Brian Westbrook. Thank fucking god.

grungedave said...

I am not sure if that's 12 picks yet, but fuck it... the Sex Cannon doesn't care. So I'm drafting him.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

I'll go w/ Edge James.

Otto Man said...

Torry Holt.

Sh!tShow said...

Deuce. So far Manning, Harrison, and McAllister. Not bad.

My Insignificant Life said...

Sex Cannon - Rex Grossman - Because scoring w/chicks is 10 points.

dick_gozinia said...

Matt Hasselback.

I live in Chicago, but love my Seahawks.

BeaverFever said...

i can't stand him, but what the hell, t. owens

larry burns said...

i will take brett farve,

oh we lose for picks never mind then.

The Pirate Sloth said...

I'm not even going to get involved. You guys have fun with this. I have to fly today, so I could only get no more than 3 picks in before my flight.

BeaverFever said...

sloth, at this rate i'll be lucky to get 3 more picks in by 5pm.

miamidiesel said...

This is some bullshit... should've known a dickhole like BDD would set up a fantasy league and then not bother to tell anyone what time the draft started. And so here I am, holding my dick and wondering what's up, only to realize that the draft is now 70+ comments in. And of course BDD sees fit to give himself first pick and take LDT. Fucking great.

Since I've got to salvage something here, I'm taking Vince FUCKING Young. Why? Because all VY does is win football games, and I'm sure that shit translates to fantasy somehow...

wv - pxehip

Rob I said...

Brandon Jacobs

It's either that or Reuben Droughns, so don't give me the red ass.

Wormfather said...

Jerrico Cochery...dude's going to have a killer season.

grungedave said...

let's see... I have Steven Jackson, Willis and his offspring, and Sex Cannon (and screw you insignificant life - I got Rexy first).

guess that means someone needs to catch the cannon's bombs. Then again, we don't employ defensive backs here...

so, I'll take Reggie Wayne.

BeaverFever said...

did we lose BDD ? haven't seen him pick since he took brady.

Otto Man said...

No one's taken Joseph Addai? Really?

Alright, Addai.

wv from koolaid: g'dam! x-uh!

the butler said...

Larry Fitzgerald and his free crackers.

JargonBear said...

Jamal Lewis.

Browns win division this year, Superbowl next year, Brady Quinn wears evening gown to parade.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Chad Johnson.

dick_gozinia said...

It's a crying shame that Big Daddy Drew didn't take his half brother Maurice Jones-Drew. So, I will.

QB - Matt Hasselback
RB - Maurice Jones-Drew

grungedave said...

How the fuck did I overlook Chad Johnson?!? Good pick Hercules.

Otto Man said...

I was stunned Ocho Cinco lasted so long.

So ... time's officially come to a standstill, right?

Jason said...

Roy Williams.

And my verification word is Coxpyret. Gay mafia?

the butler said...

are we still waiting 12 picks?

BeaverFever said...

i plan on following protocol. it's been an hour since my last pick. one pick before i go again. waiting 12 picks is getting painful

JargonBear said...

Can't wait. It's been more than 15 minutes, I'll be drunk at lunch before I get 3 rounds......

2nd pick - Drew Brees
Always eases it in like a gentleman....

BeaverFever said...

Lee Evans

Hercules Rockefeller said...

I'll be rocking the Palmer to Johnson combo all season long.

Almost as good as shitshow's Manning to Harrison combo....almost.

My Insignificant Life said...

Tony Romo

miamidiesel said...

DeAngelo Williams

wv - ccpeor

Dan said...

I know I didnt make any picks but i know who i WOULDNT pick, fuck Tommie Harris and the Bears D, turing on Sex Cannon like that.

the butler said...

Marion Barber III

chunk said...

Gay Mafia? And no has taken Garcia yet?

Otto Man said...

With the first TE of the draft .... Antonio Gates

JargonBear said...

Ugh, the waiting is killing me.

Houshmazilli.......championship!

Unsilent Majority said...

Rick Ankiel

Otto Man said...

You're out of control, UM!

Which makes an Ankiel pick pretty apt.

grungedave said...

is it too early to draft Chris Henry?

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Oh snap. Devon Hester.

Wormfather said...

I'll take the Bengals Defence...I need a reason to watch the news.

Jason said...

John Kitna.

Oh, This is for the Rapture said...

Plaxico Burress....
late as usual but at least there is some nice picks left on the board.

Rob I said...

Marques Colston

This is hard.

BeaverFever said...

again, officially over an hour since my last pick. still respecting protocol.

denvergodfather said...

homer pick...Cutler

Joe said...

OOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me... Lendale White

BeaverFever said...

andre johnson

Rob I said...

Fuck protocol, I want Barry Sanders. Comeback year!

dick_gozinia said...

RB #2 is Cedric Benson. He's like Ricky Williams without all the bong hits.

QB - Matt Hasselback
RB1 - Maurice Jones-Drew
RB2 - Cedric Benson

So far so good....

Ben said...

This late in the game? Time for value picks.

Marshawn Lynch, GB Packers

Otto Man said...

It's been two hours, and I think a dozen picks. So ... Philip Rivers.

BeaverFever said...

lynch was drafted by buffalo, not gb

Joe said...

OOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me... Ron Dayne

Ben said...

same freakin difference, two northern market teams no one cares about, my bad.

J.L. White said...

I just have a feeling, and my late start doesn't give me much choices here....

Adrian Peterson, RB (there's two of them, so I refer to the rookie for the Vikings).

Joe said...

OOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me... Daunte Culpepper

My team - all fat - all the time

BeaverFever said...

ben, can you blame me for being so sensitive ? after all i am a bills fan.

Otto Man said...

I'll likely be making my next pick sometime on Monday, so here's the current status:

QB Philip Rivers
RB Shaun Alexander
RB Rudi Johnson
RB Joseph AddaI
WR Steve Smith
WR Torry Holt
TE Antonio Gates

Given my history with fantasy football, half of these players will be on crutches by week 3 and one will be in jail. My money's on Rudi. He's been quiet, but he's a Bengal.

Ben said...

beaverfever, i'm a cal alum, i'm more mad at myself than you...

with my second pick, i take another rookie with upside... WR Calvin Johnson. Damn me for taking a freaking Lion.

grungedave said...

this draft is a bigger bust than Tony Mandarich.

Wormfather said...

@grungedave...I was just about to say the same thing. Who would have thunk that a fantasy football draft on a football website would bomb so bad.

I'm gonna go draft some digleberries.

BeaverFever said...

i need to update my self

r.bush - rb
w. parker - rb
m. bulger - qb
t. owens -wr
l. evans - wr
a. johnson -wr

maybe if i'm lucky my picks will be done by sunday. can't belive this has taken so long. go play intramurals, brother !

Oh, This is for the Rapture said...

Warrick Dunn... always gets drafted too late.

Otto Man said...

I think the problem here is that once the first ten picks were made, few people wanted to take part and start in with Antowain Smith as their top pick.

Oh, This is for the Rapture said...

im still have a game plan... but yeah im starting think that this getting a bit pointless at this time...

Ben said...

my 3rd pick, my QB... gosh this slate has been picked pretty clean.

How about Chris Simms? Guy's going to come back with a vengance this year.

JargonBear said...

I am officially back from lunch (and drunk) so...
4th pick - Ronnie Brown

Personal Summary
Jamal Lewis RB
Drew Brees QB
Houshmanzadeh WR
Ronnie Brown RB

dick_gozinia said...

WR - Chris Chambers. Trent Green may be old and grizzled, but he's still got passing skillz (with a 'z'). Chambers should be a nice addition.

QB - Matt Hasselback
RB1 - Maurice Jones-Drew
RB2 - Cedric Benson
WR1 - Chris Chambers

Joe said...

OOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me... David Boston

(Crap, is he still in the league?)

My team - all fat - all the time

Jason said...

I'm drafting Sebastian Janikowski.

He gets the good drugs for a kicker.

J.L. White said...

Has it been 12 picks yet? Oh, fuck it, it's close enough. I pick Dominic Rhodes, RB, now spiralling down into the pit of dispair known as the Oakland Raiders.

BeaverFever said...

i know he sucked last year, bounce back this year ? cadillac williams

JargonBear said...

I'll take
Chargers D
Hines Ward WR
Kellen Winslow TE
Jeff Wilkins K
and now I shall return to the patio that so graciously hosted the beginning of the end of my friday.

Next draft should have naked cheerleaders.

Oh, This is for the Rapture said...

Ok screw it. Matt Leinart and Shockey. I'll take 2 because nobody cares anymore...

WR-Plax
RB-Dunn
QB-Leinart
TE-Shockey

I suggest a commentor draft that begins after 9 am Westcoast time?
Beacuse its unfair to live in perpetual sunshine and beautiful weather.

Romo_No_Homo said...

Bear Grylls, i also have a man crush on him.

dick_gozinia said...

Wait 12 picks? We couldn't possibly accomplish this unless you expect me to work late...and that just ain't not happenin'.

WR2 - Santana Moss. Who's the QB is Washington? Who fuckin' cares...that dude is fast as hell!

WR/RB - Mike Furrey - He's a white wide receiver and he plays for the Lions. And I'm sure there are good things about him as well.

TE - Tony Gonzalez - Did we just stop drafting TEs after Gates? Oh well.

D - Seattle Seahawks - They play the 49ers and Cardinals 4 times. Sign me up!

K - Lawrence Tynes - I have no Bengals, so I needed a legit felon to round out my starting roster. He's born in Scotland and loves to break the faces of bouncers...he's NY giants (ass)kicker Lawrence Tynes!

QB - Matt Hasselback
RB1 - Maurice Jones-Drew
RB2 - Cedric Benson
WR1 - Chris Chambers
WR2 - Santana Moss
WR/RB-Mike Furrey
TE - Tony Gonzales
DEF - Seattle Seahawks
K - Lawrence Tynes

One Last Call said...

Greg Oden

rar288 said...

Damnit you guys started way too fucking early.

Bernard Berrian.

BeaverFever said...

te - todd heap

rar288 said...

Alright...so far....

WR - Bernard Berrian....thats it.

Championship!

BeaverFever said...

i still need a defense. i take s.d.'s

HadesGigas said...

Jerome Bettis, wit GNC Megamen Multi-Vitamin