Thursday, June 28, 2007

KSK Birthday Wishes From Rex Grossman!


What is this, like a kiddie birthday party? With cake and punch and all that shit? That’s cute. You guys gonna play Pin The Tail On Donkey? Sounds like fun.

Your party is fucking gay.

When I had my birthday, we rented out a warehouse in downtown Chicago. Then we filled it knee high with baby oil and flew in nothing but Penthouse Pets. Did I shoot frozen ropes of Rexjelly all night long? I did indeed. I taught all of those girls and that zebra what a good, hard boning is. I like to fuck. It feels good. We had a raw bar and Queens of The Stone Age played. I don’t see any of that here. It’s not even a real party. You’re just fucking nerds online. I bet your “party” consisted of you heading to the shitter to jerk off. Sounds like a blast. Are you wearing tuxes to work today?

Faggots.

Someone go deep. I wanna give my armcock a workout.

25 comments:

Unsilent Majority said...

praise jebus

Vanilla said...

A Rexstasy sighting!
"frozen ropes of Rexjelly" Freakin' classic.

Happy Birthday KSK!

BeaverFever said...

the dragon has been unleashed.

Grimey said...

Frozen Ropes of Rexjelly... better band name than Queens of the Stone Age?

Dat RoRo Kid said...

'frozen ropes'? 'I like to fuck. It feels good'?

I missed you, Rex.

Becky said...

I love Rexstacy.

Happy Birthday to my favorite purveyors of filth and fun! Online ones, anyway.

Otto Man said...

Nice to see a football player fucking the zebras for once.

Wormfather said...

Armcock, that will never get old

Peter McSheisty said...

I bet your “party” consisted of you heading to the shitter to jerk off.

Oh Rextacy, you know me so well.

The Pirate Sloth said...

I would pay good money to see a entire warehouse filled with knee deep with baby oil and tons of Penthouse Pets.

That right there is gonna make me run to the shitter to jerk off.

liquid_d said...

So, was I wrong to wear my tuxedo to work today? That I can change, but as for jerking off on the shitter...

Matt said...

Come on Rex, we all know the KSK Gay Mafia does not "work". So that means they're sitting at home in tuxes. Which may or may not be worse, depending on your point of view.

Burnsy said...

I bought a similar jacket to the one Rex wears in that picture. I can't pull it off like Rex can. Sigh.

Dave said...

sounds like the most ballin'-est party EVER!

was that the night before the superbowl?

TheNaturalMevs said...

I knew Rex would show up.

He said "armcock"

*giggles

Peter McSheisty said...

I bought a similar jacket to the one Rex wears in that picture. I can't pull it off like Rex can. Sigh.

Few can. Thats why hes the fucking Cannon.

the butler said...

Mmmmmm that felt good.

Kinda like mainlining.

Awful Chief said...

This is probably the closest Rexstacy will come to Canton.

dp said...

That jacket is mesmorizing, Rex. It's no wonder you pull all that wool...and zebra.

Wormfather said...

@Chief...

Not if there's at least one chick on the panel.

Andrew said...

Armcock LOL!

Hershey3971 said...

Armcocks of Rexjelly is my new band name. Fucking brilliant.

Happy birthday, bukkake boys.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Og god, can't breathe...people at work are looking at me funny now. Must stop laughing....

That was pure genius. It's always fun when "The Cannon" is aiming his frozen ropes of Rexjelly at unsuspecting zebras, hookers and underage teenage runaways.

Brilliant.

Smello said...

"I like to fuck."

The brilliance of the simplicity is awe inspiring.

Dickens Cider said...

The prophet has spoken.