Monday, June 18, 2007

As We Proceed... (Who Shot Ya?) ...To Give You What You Need

Late last week, Redskins first-round pick LaRon "The Ron" Landry was paintballed in the groin in an apparent team-building activity with fellow members of the first-team defense. We KSKers prefer not to "build" "teams". It's ever so droll, that. However, the busting of balls concept does hold some promise.

We choose to ignore for the moment the obvious Han Moleman/George C. Scott joke, as we're more curious as to who fired to offending shot, a fact that the AP article helpfully elides over. An abbreviated list of present suspects:

Tito Puente
Not actually Adam Archuleta, but someone who makes a lot of tired Adam Archuleta jokes
The Maj
Renaldo Wynn
Shitsy Spitsy
GG Allin
California Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer
Keith Hernandez
Nerds
Falco
Gabe Ruth
Hobos
Otto Man
One of those damn lolcats
Ron Paul

Any help would be much appreciated. We'd hate for the Redskins to have an excuse for sucking.

Image courtesy of flubby, who celebrated his first Father's Day as a dad yesterday...by ignoring his kid and designing MS Paint images.

24 comments:

Otto Man said...

It wasn't me.

I was home watching "Pardon My Zinger."

Shan said...

It must've been the lolcat with the sniper rifle.....I've always wanted to choke that bitch.

Andrew said...

I just hope it was on video.

Somebody says Landry was going to nail a teammate execution style, but the teammate was all "boom bitch!"

That's worth at least $3,000 if abc aired that shit.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

It had to be Sean Taylor. I mean, c'mon.

Gabe Ruth. HA! Babe Ruth's gay brother.

grungedave said...

let's see...

the hit was below the belt.
the person who "caught" it was a defensive back.
the defensive back in question was probably more open than anyone else on the field.

... yeah, it had to be Jason Campbell. Typical Redskin QB.

Burnsy said...

It was Allison Stokke's father.

The Pirate Sloth said...

Was he running with his knife out? Everyone runs faster with their knife out.

The Kid said...

could have been andrew golota, mistaking landry for riddick bowe

becky said...

seriously guys...stop snitchin'

(it was totally UM...nice red herring)

the butler said...

does the Vice Pres. have an alibi?

Hercules Rockefeller said...

It was Clay Shaw.

I can hear sweat tricklin' down your cheek

Unsilent Majority said...

Had to be Wynn. He takes paint ball waaay too seriously and Shitsy Spitsy lacks the opposable thumbs.

flubby said...

I slaved over that picture for dozens of seconds.

Pepe said...

It was Brady Quinn - single handedly trying to take out every person drafted ahead of him.

Otto Man said...

It was Brady Quinn - single handedly trying to take out every person drafted ahead of him.

Well, that would explain why he went right for the nutsack.

YourTaxDollarsAtWork said...

What’s this… no mention of Pacman Jones’ crew anywhere?

Jackin'4Beats said...

Testify against me and I'll shoot you in the nutsack...

TAKE THAT!!!

Hmmm, bustin caps makes me want to roll up. Mmmm sweet cheeba...

- Mike Vick

Oh man... I just shot Marvin in the Face said...

Redskin cheerleaders are wondering if he lost the battle of little or big horn..... PLAY THAT TRUMPET!

PANGER said...

A Landry playing for the Redskins?

This has Don Meredith's old-man stench all over it.

Ben said...

I'm calling Chris Cooley on this. The rules of street justice suggest that the one appropriate punishment for such a crime is internment in hotpants.

Mike B. said...

It was the ghost of Southeast Jerome, exacting revenge from the afterlife on the team that failed to protect him from A-Rod. Sheriff Gonna Getcha and Inspector 2-2 are on the case.

David said...

Definitely Babe Ruth's gay brother.

Bucktown Skins Fan said...

Can we get a proper link on here!?! Good work KSK, but our proceeds got o charity, and I started that nickname...

I CAN END IT!!

HAIL!

http://www.cafepress.com/buy/redskins+insider/-/pv_design_details/pg_1/id_19184025/opt_/fpt_/c_360/

Robocats said...

@ The Butler

Clearly it wasn't Cheney. He only uses real bullets.