Friday, June 15, 2007

This Week’s KSK Commenter Draft – Dad Draft!


As much as I would like to believe my Father’s Day weekend will be identical to the itinerary posted below, reality is far more cruel. I have to strip glue off the bathroom walls. And do work. And the next DVD in our Netflix queue was “Dreamgirls”.

I got fucked.

I also have to remember to call my Dad and wish him a Father’s Day in his own right. I owe it all to my dad. He’s the one who gave my me sly sense of humor. In fact, I’m quite sure you know him. He’s former LA deejay Rick Dees:


I’ve actually never spoken to my father. He abandoned us when I was 1 hour old. My mother says he’s a heartless deadbeat who never gave a shit about us and only acknowledges his “new” family. But Dad, if you’re out there, I just want you to know that, even though you were never there for me, I still love you. I’ll always be your little Disco Duck. Hugs and hand pounds, Big Poppa.

This week’s draft is an Alternate Dad draft. You’re picking a new daddy, one to replace the one that got drunk and beat you every weekend. The rules? Pick one dad, fictional or otherwise. It can be any man at any point in time. Once you pick a new dad, you must wait 10 picks until you pick a new one. Let us also assume you are already a billionaire, so potential inheritance plays no role here.

My first pick? Mr. Incredible.


Apart from money, the most important quality my new dad can have is the ability to beat up YOUR dad. And rest assured, Mr. Incredible will fuck your dad up. And, being his spawn means I could have special powers myself. Just call me Jack-Jack.

258 comments:

Wormfather said...

First pick again. I'm taking Tiger Woods. Dudes rich, can hit the ball and I'd be banging my step mom.

flubby said...

The ODB.

Unsilent Majority said...

Steve McQueen

teach me the way.

BigRicks said...

Tony Soprano, I'll take a brand new M3, thanks. Plus, kick ass? Yeah, I think he fits the bill.

Wormfather said...

Wow, flubby, just wow!

The Mighty Favog said...

Sandy Cohen in a New York heartbeat.

IanLozada said...

Hugh Hefner. Duh.

Unsilent Majority said...

hearts beat faster in new york. FACT!

weasley said...

i pick archie manning.

look at the great job he has done with eli.

Unsilent Majority said...

TBL- Why must you wear that "mighty favog" mask?

grungedave said...

Al Bundy...

he has much wisdom. And he once scored 4 TDs in one game for Polk High.

The Hoosier Loser said...

Lee Marvin

The Kid said...

John Daly, guy likes to have a good time

@flubby the sad thing is that you took my first pick, ODB was the first person to come to my mind, good call

Big Daddy Drew said...

Cliff Huxtable.

Almost picked him first. A black dad also give me street cred.

TurleyGirlie said...

Definitely Matthew McConnaughy. I could stare at him all the time and he wouldn't think I was a celebrity stalker.



I'm not.




Really.

Wormfather said...

Marvin Gaye's father, oh, wait, scratch that.

George Bush Sr. and dont give me that "results may vary" bullshit.

Chuckles said...

I'd pick Elijah Dukes, but I'm older than he is.

I'll take Superman.

Matt said...

Keith. Richards.

TheAntiFollicle said...

Gimee the Hoff, i wanna challenge my old man to a drinking contest

BigRicks said...

Second Pick, Ol' Blue Eyes. Learning the essence of cool from Sinatra while still keeping ties to my first dad (mob connection).

I'd pick up his seconds no problemo.

Hershey3971 said...

Darth Vader.

Teach me the dark side of the force and give me a light saber for my fifth birthday. Nobody fucks with me.

big skinny said...

GOD. God would kick my dad's ass and my brother would make an excellent wingman.

Crapass said...

Wilt Chamberlain.

There has to be some way he could get me a few of the 20,000 he slept with.

John S. said...

Darth Vader - A dad like that forces you to make something of yourself.

coolbreeze said...

Mace Windu

John S. said...

Since Vader was just picked... I am going with Jor-el

The Kid said...

Chef from South Park (pre season 8)

Those would be some bad ass father/son sex talks

BoSox Siobhan said...

Atticus Finch.
Seriously.

John S. said...

bosox siobhan. Well done, sir. You win the thread.

Tuck Fexas said...

I've got to go with Bill Gates

Unsilent Majority said...

I'll take Dame Dash narrowly edging out Bing Crosby

TheAntiFollicle said...

Uncle Junior. "Me, I never had kids..." Oh yes you did June Bug, and I'd be in prime position to take over the family now that Tony got capped. Plus, with glasses I already look like the geriatric old bastard.

Unsilent Majority said...

haha, siobhan is a dude. a dude with a thing for koreans.

Chuckles said...

Vito Corleone

Vanilla said...

Brad Pitt, because I'd be a sexy ass mofo.

Vanilla said...

Literally a mofo.

Noyam said...

Joseph. "What do you mean I'm not the father?"

Hershey3971 said...

Larry Flynt

Batshit crazy, rich and a bevy of hot barely legals guarantees the good life, no?

lieutenant winslow said...

sometimes this is just too easy...

the playmaker. endless supply of coke and strippers. and, much like unsilent majority, i would realize my childhoood dream of being black

Ghost of Carl Monday said...

+1 BoSox

my pick:

Casey McCall
Anchor, Sports Night

big skinny said...

Tommy Chong-for obvious reasons

Awful Chief said...

@grungedave: Nice pick. Whoa Bundy!

Let's see...Dr. Maplewood from Happiness? No, probably not.

I'll go with Larry Bell, founder of Bell's Brewing Inc.

miamidiesel said...

Michael Jordan. Greatest basketball player, greatest competitor ever, and the most clutch motherfucker ever, so plenty to learn from there. Charles Oakley would be one of my bodyguards, I could take Charles Barkley's money playing blackjack, and then me and daddy MJ could go pick up some coeds. And I would get all that Jordan brand shit for free, saving me tons of $$$.

Pepe said...

I would have to say John Wayne. Has there ever been a tougher Dad on the planet?

Lee Marvin was a great pick, except for he got tagged with that whole palimony thing.

Jackin'4Beats said...

George Clinton. I can listen to Parliament all the damn time and get all the young groupies that my dad doesn't want. And I can get high whenever I want.

I win.

The Kid said...

Ronald Reagan, i'd probably be a lot better at talking to chicks, maybe they could call me the "decent communicator" as opposed to the akward kid

John S. said...

Dr. Henry Jones, Sr.

Ghost of Carl Monday said...

@ john s.

we'll name the dog Indiana

Judz said...

Homer Simpson

coolbreeze said...

Winslow, you ain't a brotha? I thunk you were. Should I apologize for that?

My 2nd pick...Mr Drummond. Me, Arnold, Willis and Kimberly. That'd be a fun family...until that chump Sam came around.

BigRicks said...

I'd like to pick Shawn Kemp and make some sort of joke about multiple siblings, but I'm going to use my third pick on Hulk Hogan.

He's a Real American and he fights for the rights of every man.

Unsilent Majority said...

pepe, my dad (mcqueen) will kick your dad's ass.

Casey McCall might be the pick of the draft.

I'll take Harry Block (Deconstructing Harry).

doug_plank said...

Judd Nelson's Dad from "Breakfast Club"

lieutenant winslow said...

@ coolbreeze: nope, just another half-jew cokehead lawyer.


with my second pick, i think i shall take george clooney. you guys can shit on him all you want, but the man pulls tail. lots and lots of tail. and that, boys and girls, is the kind of role model a young man needs growing up

LP54 said...

gotta be Hugh Hefner.......

Tracer Bullet said...

Jeffery Lurie. He's a billionaire and I wouldn't have to pay usurious prices to scumbag scalpers for Eagles tickets.

Awful Chief said...

@bigricks:
I got something deep inside of me. Courage is the thing that keeps us free! Train, say your prayers, take your vitamins. Be true to yourself, true to your country, be a real American.

Edmond said...

Cliff Huxtable, with the hipping-and-the-hopping-and-the bipping-and-the-bopping.

The Kid said...

@lp54 use Ctrl-F you really think hef would have dropped this far?

Big Daddy Drew said...

I'll be taking Iron Chef Morimoto now. I need a daddy who can cook.

Hershey3971 said...

George Steinbrenner

Once my old man leaves this mortal coil and left me in control of the team, I'd conduct a fire sale, move it to Podunk, Nebraska and be a perennial bottom-feeder to the power house (pick favorite AL team here).

Chuckles said...

Tom Brady. And Peter King would be my Mom.

Unsilent Majority said...

Thomas Keller

Unsilent Majority said...

damn Drew, I think you might have gotten me on that one.

Judz said...

I got Steven Spielberg with my second pick

Awful Chief said...

2nd pick: Ian Fraiser Kilmister, aka Lemmy

Edmond said...

Assuming we were using the serpentine fantasy draft format, for my second pick I'll take Phillip (diff'rent Strokes) Drummond. I'll have an amazing pad and a hot, coked-out stepsister that will eventually pose for Playboy and rob banks. (THAT'S HOT!!)

big skinny said...

Jim Koch. Owner and founder of Sam Adams. All the beer I can drink and heir to to a brewery. Yes please.

Total BS said...

Allan Stokke

Tracer Bullet said...

Bob Johnson. One of America's few black billionaires, owns the Bobcats so there will always be plenty of booty-shakin' groupies and recreational drugs nearby and still has a stake in BET so there will always be plenty of booty-shakin' groupies and recreational drugs nearby.

Just another country blumpkin said...

Season 4 Jimmy McNulty until I was 13, and then season 1-3 Jimmy McNulty thereafter.

I get a supportive family man during my formative years, and then when I start sprouting peach fuzz, we go out slaying broads and getting piss drunk on Irish Whiskey. I hope he takes me to a detective wake.

miamidiesel said...

King Leonidas from 300. Who's gonna kick his ass? He killed like 10 million Persians with only 299 other guys. Beyond that, he was truly a king for all the right reasons, which makes him badass. Though I'd always be fighting the temptation to turn mommy Gorgo around and bang the shit out of her against a stone pillar....

Awful Chief said...

@edmond:
Mark it zero. This isn't Nam. There are rules that you need to read again.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Richard "Shaft" Roundtree. Because he's the real bad mutha...shut yo mouth.

This is too easy.

BigRicks said...

4th pick, Jack Bauer.

kills motherfuckers dead, all in a days work

The Kid said...

Sam "Ace" Rothstein
With my father running a massive casino (and basically running vegas) id have nothing to do but get drunk, gamble, and outright abuse cocktail waitresses

Big Daddy Drew said...

Hey retards, did you read the rules? We're assuming you ALREADY have a billion dollars, which means money is not a factor.

Oh, and Spielberg was the steal of the draft.

BigRicks said...

not to mention Elisha Cuthbert would be my sister, commence incestuous thoughts............now

John S. said...

Zeus.

I am Hercules!

lieutenant winslow said...

hmmmmmm, this is a tough one. if i draft "the donald" i could spend my childhood beating the ever living shit out of my brother, and occasionally finger-bang my sister, but... i would be stuck having "the donald" as my father. yeah... fuck that.

i'm taking jackie aprile. (lest we forget that jackie jr fucked little meadow soprano back when she was still all young and innocent)

Tracer Bullet said...

What, you're so rich you can't use an extra billion dollars or two? Your blogging riches have caused you to lose touch with the common man, BDD.

Burnsy said...

We're less than 100 picks in and we've had like a dozen repeats already.

I pick Sean Connery. The day is mine.

Tracer Bullet said...

Tennessee distilling legend Jack Daniels. Suck it, bitches.

coolbreeze said...

My 3rd pick Peter Petrelli. I'm bound to have some kind of crazy-ass cool superpower.

Just another country blumpkin said...

Lt. John McClane

Does your daddy have a helicopter? My dad will launch a Crown Vic into that shit no problem.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

I'll take Dwight Eisenhower.

Chuckles said...

Richard Williams.

I'd like to be a black tennis prodigy.

Hershey3971 said...

Robert DeNiro

I win on the cool factor alone.

FTA said...

Ernest Hemingway.

A young, cool, not crazy version.

Otto Man said...

George Washington.

Which makes me the United States of America. Suck it!

Chuckles said...

@ burnsy,

Not only have we had a dozen repeats, we've also had at least one offender repeat and not wait his turn.

Looking in your direction, eddy

The Kid said...

Clark W Griswald
could lead to a very entertaining childhood, what kid doesnt love a nice cross country trip to wally world

Jordan Ginsberg said...

Huh, four people haven't chosen Hunter S. Thompson yet? Weird.

I'll take Seymour "Swede" Levov. Great athlete, served his country, glove magnate, married Miss New Jersey (not the greatest of accomplishments, I know), and wouldn't even abandon a child if it murdered a civilian after blowing up a post office, then converted to Jainism.

Wormfather said...

Tyler Durden.

big skinny said...

Bob Barker. I'll make them Big Skinny's beauties. "How much do you bid on this pearl necklace?" Plus, if he beat down Happy Gilmore he would fuck my father up. Plinko bitches!

lieutenant winslow said...

i'm going to have to go with Joe Kennedy. sure my dad helped the Nazi's in 30's, and sure that means i'll probably be assasinated before the age of 50, but... you really can't put a price on tag-teaming marylin monroe with your older brother. and besides, who wants to live into their 60's anyways

Wormfather said...

@coolbreeze, nice pick.

Tracer Bullet said...

Thurgood Marshall. I should have someone to look up to.

Unsilent Majority said...

Isaac Jaffee

just so I can hear him say "Exaudio, Comperio, Conloquor."

Ken Dynamo said...

my neighbor.

is wife is REALLY hot.

Total BS said...

Rosie O'Donnell

John John The Bastard said...

Wee-Bey Bryce

Hercules Rockefeller said...

I'll take Drew's real daddy, Rick Dees. Ah...those dulcet tones.

Awful Chief said...

Milton Parker, co-owner of the Carnegie Deli. I could eat there anytime I wanted without waiting in line for 45 minutes.

FTA said...

Johnny Cash.

And I have the additional benefit of knowing one name I will NOT by given.

Judz said...

#3 - George Bluth (Arrested Development)

Danny G said...

Rev Run. If you've ever watched Run's House, you know what I mean. Money, Cars, Nice Crib, Hot sisters, pioneer of hip hop, the list is endless.

Just another country blumpkin said...

Big Daddy Drew.

Too obvious?

Tracer Bullet said...

Porn magnate Seymour Butts for what I hope are painfully obvious reasons.

Wormfather said...

Jason Borne

He'd kick your ass three times before you hit the ground.

Otto Man said...

Pope Benedict XVI.

That's right. I got the Holy Father.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Peter Griffin. Beacuse he's a bumbling idiot, he would be completely unaware of my plans for TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION.

"You and you...fight to the death."

The Kid said...

Quinton "Rampage" Jackson
Who's gonna mess with me if he's my father?

Unsilent Majority said...

otto- the catholics won't think he's so holy when they find out he's got a kid

Engineer Sighted said...

Ha ha, UM, Isaac Jaffe, awesome.

I think I'll take King Arthur. I'd have Merlin to help out, the knights and then become King of England after Pop is gone.

The Pirate Sloth said...

I choose Han Solo.

The man iss a bad ass.

Jordan Ginsberg said...

King Lear. Motherfucker could have used a sane, loyal son to put those trifling daughters in their goddamn places.

coolbreeze said...

@wormfather. gracias.

TheNaturalMevs said...

Tim Couch.

Awful Chief said...

King Jaffe Joffer

Tracer Bullet said...

H.L. Mencken, reporter, editor, author, wit, raconteur, muck-racker and the Bastard of Baltimore long before Ray Lewis was born.

Judz said...

Dan Shanoff - so I can be a bandwagon Florida fan and blame it on my family

John John The Bastard said...

Thomas Wayne - For no other reason than the need to avenge his death will cause me to become Batman, the Dark Knight.

Robert said...

Keyser Soze.

There may be a point where he'll have to kill me in front of my mom, but I'd be untouchable until then.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Obama.

He's so well-spoken!

Otto Man said...

otto- the catholics won't think he's so holy when they find out he's got a kid

No problem. Between the whole virgin birth thing and the molestation scandals, Catholics are willing to accept anything.

John S. said...

James T. Kirk

No... that does not make me the whiney momma's boy from Wrath of Khan either.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Folks, take a moment to pause from drafting to refresh the KSK homepage and read a story that will make you want to vomit.

Bstone said...

Bill Walton.

I love the intangible considerations of a mind expanding ecstatious envelopment into the greater world of the subconscious.

I also love weed.

Otto Man said...

No... that does not make me the whiney momma's boy from Wrath of Khan either.

Yes. Yes it does. Nice perm, Nancy Boy.

Tracer Bullet said...

John john the Bastard, Thomas Wayne is an inspired choice.

Brian said...

Howard Cunningham.

Unsilent Majority said...

Gilbert Arenas

/about fucking time

Ghost of Carl Monday said...

#2: Denny Crane (Boston Legal)

Jackin'4Beats said...

Action Jackson

That means that pre-born again Christian Vanity would be my mom. Yeah, I could live with that...and the jealous looks that would always come my way.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

Capt. James Tiberius Kirk - Teach me the ways of Space Hoon!

dick_gozinia said...

Keith Moon. Awesomely crazy and could probably teach me the finer points of drumming and thrashing hotel rooms.

Otto Man said...

After George Washington and Pope Benedict, I probably need someone under the age of 248.

August Busch IV. Which makes me the handsome young heir to the Budweiser beer fortune. How much play do you think that kid got in college?

big skinny said...

Jules from Pulp Fiction because I want to be like Fonzie. "Say what again."

Don't You Judge Me said...

Arnold Schwarznegger

get my pick of CA pussy, then use his influence to the presidency!

Jordan Ginsberg said...

Patrick Hughes's dad.

Upside: Christmas would fucking rule.

Downside: Being from Florida.

John John The Bastard said...

Eugene Levy from the American Pie movies (up until Band Camp)

1.) Wee-Bey Bryce
2.) Thomas Wayne
3.) Eugene Levy

Undead Zombie Horde said...

dammit

BigRicks said...

Will Leitch?

Brian said...

Robocop.

The Kid said...

Rick Sutcliffe so i could get into "Harvard Medical School man..."

BigRicks said...

My final pick is Royal Tenenbaum, because...well...there really is no good reason, he was an awful father, he shot his son with a bb gun!

That rounds me out
1)Tony Soprano
2) Frank Sinatra
3) Hulk Hogan
4) Jack Bauer
5) Royal

Not a bad lot if you ask me, I'll take my old man over them all though.

The Pirate Sloth said...

Jimi Hendrix.

I'd learn from the fucking master himself, have shit tons of drugs and groupies, and still be in the limelight from the legacy of my father.

dick_gozinia said...

Jango Fett...because then I'd be fuckin' Boba Fett.

devang said...

Jack Nicholson. 'Nuff said

Tracer Bullet said...

Prince. Not only is he a musical genius, but his leftover women would make one of the finest harems ever assembled.

Judz said...

With my #5 pick, I am going with my #1 pick for commencement speaker, Kevin Smith.

Recap:
1. Homer Simpson
2. Steven Spielberg
3. George Bluth
4. Dan Shanoff
5. Kevin Smith

Wormfather said...

I'm about to blow this draft away.

With the third pick...

Johnnie Walker

That's right bitches, and my nickname will be Black.

John John The Bastard said...

The Milkman, oh wait I think he already is.

In all reality, Ben Stone (Knocked Up)

Jackin'4Beats said...

@the pirate sloth
Love the Hendrix pick.

@dick_gozinia
Would you BE Boba Fett or would you be FUCKIN' Boba Fett. Not that anything is wrong with that...or whatever...um...OK.

I'll take Jet Li. He would teach me to release my inner Kung Fu master and I'd be able to kick Clint's ass twice, raise him from the dead and kick his ass again.

Don't You Judge Me said...

Joe Namath

Oren said...

Muhammad Ali, 1960s edition.

Huggy said...

@john john - the Milkman is MY da

1st pick: chuck norris... this low... wow

reasoning: obvious

The Pirate Sloth said...

Edgar Allen Poe.

I'd be around one of the greatest American poets - and that man could drink.

Ghost of Carl Monday said...

#3 and final (I really should get back to doing work)

Alec Baldwin

he only hates his daughters.

Brian said...

Hemingway. Now there's a literary legend who could drink.

swing4 said...

Tommy Gavin.

I've always felt like he was my spiritual father anyway.

Romance Explosions said...

Leon Carosi

Get to inherit the Malibu Sands and bang all the Bayside ass that works there for the summer.

Otto Man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Otto Man said...

Peter North.

Thanks, heredity!

Big Daddy Drew said...

Anyone take Bob Marley yet?

YOINK

John John The Bastard said...

Nick Naylor (Thank You For Smoking) - Watch the Career Day scene and tell me that you don't concur.

"My mommy says smoking kills."
"Oh Really, is your mommy a doctor or a scientific researcher of some kind?"
"No"
"Well then she hardly sounds like a credible expert, does she?"

1.) Wee-Bey Bryce
2.) Thomas Wayne
3.) Eugene Levy
4.) Ben Stone
5.) Nick Naylor

Wormfather said...

Venus Williams.

IanLozada said...

Felicity Huffman.

Judz said...

As a supplemental pick, I have to take Ron Howard. Thus, I'd get cameos in all of his films.

Otto Man said...

1.) Wee-Bey Bryce
2.) Thomas Wayne


You'd rather be Namond than Batman? Interesting.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Peter Tosh

Legalize It...

@BDD

We'll be able to smoke some good Jamaican ganja pon de beach.

dick_gozinia said...

@jackin4beats - As the great Bobby Knight once said, "fuck is the most versatile qword in the english language." In my case, it was used for emphasis. And my Jango Fett pick still rules.

Pick #3 - Julio Iglesias.

I get all the good genes and the pedigree of being a latin lover and complete poon hound. Yeah, Enrique is my brother, but Anna is my sister-in-law. And that's real nice.

#1 - Keith Moon
#2 - Jango Fett
#3 - Julio Iglesias

The Pirate Sloth said...

Beyonce's childhood next door neighbor is my next pick.

Her and I would still be kickin it. I'd help her find them high notes of hers. She wouldn't have even looked Jay-Z's way.

Otto Man said...

Shawn Kemp.

I don't really want to pick him, but the odds are pretty good that he'd be one of our fathers.

coolbreeze said...

#4 Elrond of Rivendell. The elves were badasses, and my olf man would be the Head Elf In charge.

John John The Bastard said...

@ Otto Man - No, but I didn't start watching Batman Begins until my second pick (I love my job), also it made my day that someone knew who Wee-Bey was.

Tracer Bullet said...

Jim "Black Samurai" Kelly, not only can my dad kick your dad's ass, he'll give your mother the best orgasm of her life and he'll do it without denting his afro.

Otto Man said...

Both were excellent picks, John John.

And seeing how you're a bastard, you deserve whatever father you'd like, even if he is locked up in Jessup.

BoSox Siobhan said...

Dean Martin.

John S. said...

Toshiro Mifune

BoSox Siobhan said...

BTW - I not a dude and never have been.

PuraPirata said...

Al Bundy, so i can have superior football genes and make incestuous love to Kelly Bundy.

John John The Bastard said...

#6 Ricky Bobby - I have always wanted to be a bad kid
"Don't fuck with me old man, I'll come at you like a spider monkey"

Chris said...

Bill Clinton.

Cigars, interns, and a hot incestuous relationship with Chelsea - what more could a man want?

Senor Beavis said...

Keith Mars

Murderface said...

Michael Corleone.

What is wrong with you people that I'm this late and still get him with my 1st pick? Damn.

Mom's a skinny whiny bitch, but whaddayagonnado?

grungedave said...

For my second pick...

Jeff "the Dude" Lebowski. He'd teach me all about Credence, Js and interior design (especially rugs). Plus he'd take me bowling, like, all the fucking time.

grungedave said...

and... dammit, purapirata - I claimed Al Bundy a long, long time ago!

Tracer Bullet said...

Cyrano Hercule Savinien de Bergerac

Julia said...

Al Swearengen (Deadwood). Booya. He'd murder all your dads and feed them to Mr. Wu's pigs.

Irish Duffy98 said...

John Ramsey

Edmond said...

The main villain in Enter the Dragon. You'd have access to an entire island, a room full of mirrors that you can bang all the island whores in, your own army. Also, weapon attachments that you can use in case you lose your hand.

Unsilent Majority said...

romance explosion wins. it's not even very close.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

Not I'm usually one to judge, but I am kind of shocked and dismayed that so many of you(us?) are basing choices off of who has hot sisters/daughters and are completely willing to partake in incest. Just saying...

I think Tommy Lee really fell this far. Great genes, lots of groupies, sweet pool parties...

Engineer Sighted said...

John Jameson. You know how on the bottle it says John Jameson and Sons? I could be one of those.

big skinny said...

Rick James, bitch

John John The Bastard said...

#7 Snoop Dogg - Lets see, Plentiful pot smoking, Check. Dad's a living legend in his scene, Check. I want to play football so he creates a youth league specifically so I can, Check. No Idea how he fell this far, yes I Ctrl-F'd it.

And I am spent, but happy with my roster of fathers (good point Otto, being a bastard I can attach myself to whoever)

1.) Wee-Bey Bryce
2.) Thomas Wayne
3.) Eugene Levy (American Pie)
4.) Ben Stone
5.) Nick Naylor
6.) Ricky Bobby
7.) Snoop Dogg

Hercules Rockefeller said...

I'll take Hannibal Lecter. So cultured...and the meals he would make? That's Boomer-style delicious!

PuraPirata said...

My bad grunge, i neglected to scan through the whole draft. So, Jerry Garcia, who i hope is on the board.