Thursday, June 28, 2007

KSK Birthday Wishes From Malcolm Gladwell!


One of the things that’s great about bukkake is that it follows my laws of stickiness. A sticky idea is one that sticks to anyone who comes into contact with it. And nothing’s stickier than a boatload of cum.

In many ways, it’s just like the recent outbreak of herpes in the greater Atlanta area. Bukkake is a popular social activity in many Atlanta neighborhoods. Which means that the herpes itself becomes sticky. This is an incredibly radical idea when you think about it, largely because it is my idea.

I asked 500 of my closest gay friends to come up with a number between one and 10. 75% of them chose 5. What does this mean? It means more people are getting abortions than ever before, but not for the reasons we might assume.

Again, it all goes back to the bukkake.

Congratulations, Gay Mafia. I got you this basket of Paul Mitchell styling products. It helps me always look like an 8th grader from 1972 in a constant state of surprise. Happy birthday, KSK. You’re okay, but Bill Simmons is better because he’s the only sportswriter I’ve ever read.

14 comments:

wrecking_ball said...

Please please please let the Matron Saint come by for a birthday message.

Happy birthday, gents, and thanks for making the workday bearable.

the chief said...

There's a reason you never see Gladwell and Sideshow Bob in the same place at the same time. I think it's because they are both wanted on child endangerment charges, but I'm willing to hear other reasons.

Wormfather said...

Blink was a good book, helped bring my poker up to the next level.

twoeightnine said...

This site is gay.

Awful Chief said...

Maven!

Otto Man said...

Heh. I actually saw Gladwell in New York last week.

Let's just say that there are celebs who can walk down Hudson St. in a t-shirt and jeans and blend right in, and then there's our man Yahoo Serious. I mean, Malcolm Gladwell.

BeaverFever said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BeaverFever said...

if your hair is that fucked up, why even bother with the shirt and tie ?

Jackin'4Beats said...

That guys clearly doesn't get any pussy basket.

Raskolnikov said...

Malcolm, the bukkake just goes out.

Awful Chief said...

I'm really hoping that Mike Lupica finds time to send his best wishes.

Chris said...

Roger Goodall does not approve of this excessive celebration.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

dude has got a merkin on his head!

The Pirate Sloth said...

Malcolm, you had me at sticky.