Tuesday, April 17, 2007

We're Bringing Sexy Back

Today is another special day here at KSK and I'm pleased be introducing you to the newest offerings in our line of haute-couteur. Earlier in the offseason we debuted the collection with the uber-exclusive Sex Cannon logo. Well after a long discussion with Rextacy himself I learned that multiple designs--like orgasms--are vastly supperior to the singular alternative. So brace yourselves ladies and gentlemen (mostly ladies) because we're unloading the goodness all over your chest.

'99 Draft Class


The single greatest crop of quarterbacks to ever hit the NFL Draft was supposed to make us forget all about Marino, Elway, and all the other old fuckers that we didn't like that much to begin with. At KSK we honor this mishapen menagerie of signal callers, even if a few of them are selling robot insurance at Leisureworld.

Truthfully I just made this shirt because I really wanted it for myself. I liked the way it came out so I decided to make it available to the general public. So here they are, three different styles of the ubiquitous Starting 5 shirt.
The five greats featured in their team color on lightweight coton flanked by the heavyweight t-shirt in black with gold and the ladies option. If you are looking for different colors or styles all you have to do is email me with your request, we're quite flexible.












Sexy Business


Are you sexy? Do you make said sexy work for you? Then you my friend are in the Sexy Business. Another homage to our favorite Sex Cannon this shirt sums up everything that is the cumslinger.












On the left is the sexy red ringer shirt for all the hipsters out there lookin' for love in all the sexy places. To the right we have the team color edition of said shirt; either way, you're ready to fuck.


But what about the ladies??? Oh don't worry about that, it's about time we spread the sexy downstairs.












Ah...combine the sublime hotness that is the hip hugging undergarment with the overt sexiness of KSK and you're guarnateed to attract some attention (especially if you're wearing nothing else).

Now all we need is some models! We tried putting them on Ape's cat but...uh...that didn't end well. So all you lady readers out there need to get your shit in gear! Free merchandise for the first piece of ass to send us that picture.

NEW UPDATE!







44 comments:

3000 said...

Don't get me wrong, I fully support your creative endeavors, but Sweet Zombie Jesus, I beg you to get beyond the Microsoft Word fonts.

Seriously, Comic Sans is the absolute worst typeface designed IN THE HISTORY OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION!

People tend to use Comic Sans to look "fun" and Papyrus to look "classy" and both make me die a little inside.

Unsilent Majority said...

We're limited to what's offered by the manufacturer.

Remember, if you have a specific request I can always alter the font.

Now settle down.

Smello said...

Perhaps we female readers should just send you naked, full body shots that you can dress like paper dolls.

I mean, we got those lovely pictures of BDD's....assets.

Redhead said...

Wow, you're really trying to sell these.

Um, boys, the idea behind these is fine (and I certainly don't begrudge a woman wanting to announce that she's 'in the sexy business') but at least put them on some cute clothes. I thought you were more interested in women's fashion than that.

Dat RoRo Kid said...

Paul Lukas would be VERY upset by the font and word alignment.

devang said...

coton

Is that Mexican for cotton? Hate to nitpick, but that's one of my pet peeves.

devang said...

Great, now I have that damn song in my head.

Curse you UM!!

John S. said...

what? No boxer briefs?

I keed

BeaverFever said...

will the ladies underwear be available in the crothless variety ?

becky said...

I was told there would be thongs.
when that happens...lemme know.

devang said...

I was told there would be thongs.

Would you prefer KSK be in the front or in the *ahem* crack.

LadyAndrea said...

Screw clothes, I just got KSK tattooed on my ass.

devang said...

Andie wins

Vanilla said...

What I really want is one that says "Where's Tim Couch with my f@$*ing juice?" because everyone can already tell that I'M in the sexy business.

The Last Unitard said...

Schwag.

save the steagles said...

I'm gonna want to see them on Ape's cat before I make any purchasing decisions.

Captain Caveman said...

3000, if I had high-and-mighty opinions about fonts, I'd do everyone around me a favor and kick my own ass.

Or are you just still pissed about the Fontys?

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28261

Burnsy said...

@ Devang

Are you saying your grammar is "supperior" to UM's?

Unsilent Majority said...

Becky, it's been added.

Grimey said...

That's a nice rainbow of colors on the first '99 Draft Class t-shirt. You could definitely wear that shirt to a parade.

becky said...

UM-
that was fast.
saving everyone else the trouble, "I bet you get that a lot" and "That's what SHE said!"

oh, and thanks, love :)

PeteJayhawk said...

Is it possible to get the QBs shirt done in white lettering/black tshirt, or rather anything other that just a white T? I'd order in a sec.

And not to be too much of a whiner about fonts because I'll buy the fucker either way, but it'd be nice if you did it up right ala the original Beatles shirt that everyone else copied.

the occasional joo said...

No sexy undergarments for the gentleman? Your missing out on a HUGE untapped market... mostly me.

devang said...

@burnsy

Are you saying your grammar is "supperior" to UM's?

Not at all. I have a thing about misspelled words. Call it OCD if you will.

Awful Chief said...

How about that "anything goes" stick of dynamite photoshopped into the sex cannon?

Burnsy said...

Nevermind, I was hoping you caught it, too. I'm professionally OCD with it.

Redhead said...

the occasional joo is right - we definitely need some boxer briefs here.

devang said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
devang said...

I'd buy boxers, but obviously not with QB names on them

This Suit Is Not Black said...

Fuck Milano. She ain't got shit on you guys. But you need a name for the line that kicks "Touch"'s ass. I'm not creative enough to suggest something, tho.

Biggus Rickus said...

I think "Fuckwear" kicks "Touch"'s ass.

Mayor McRib said...

Will there be a Sex Gannon clothing line for the Raiders Fans?

This Suit Is Not Black said...

I like "Sticky." Use it in a sentence today:

"Hey, I just took home panties from KSK's Sticky clothing line!"

It's got a ring, nah mean?

the occasional joo said...

I'd buy boxers, but obviously not with QB names on them

I wouldn't mind a pair that said viva el cumslinger

Becky said...

Everyone else takes pictures of their racks for you - the ass is all I got. Send a size small and you've got yourself a booty model.

darthmoridin said...

I appreciate what you're trying to do, but jeez, ask a designer to make these look good. (I'm sure I'm not the only one who frequents KSK).

This shite is worse than the $35 garage sale shirts at Urban Outhouse.

DrDoom said...

the occasional joo

I agree if you make boxers that say this I will get them in fact i will design them now and post the link.

DrDoom said...

uh it is impossible to do this on a site i found since it is in the lower left corner as opposed to anywhere it is not like the t shirts. and custom tees does not have mens boxers.

Captain Caveman said...

I appreciate what you're trying to do, but jeez, ask a designer to make these look good. (I'm sure I'm not the only one who frequents KSK).

This shite is worse than the $35 garage sale shirts at Urban Outhouse.


I'll try to say this politely: Why don't YOU design something, you worthless fucking piece of shit?

Stuck in the Ivy said...

Wow CC, a little defensive of the designs are we?

Not that I blame you, I've spent about 3 years trying to come up with something to put on a shirt. Still haven't thought of shit.

devang said...

@Stuck in the Ivy

One of my favorites is a guy riding a motorcycle. On the back of his shirt it says: "If you can read this, the bitch fell off."

CC, ignore the fucktard.

devang said...

I'd like to use this one, but copyright probably prevents me from doing so.

"The surest sign that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

-Calvin

Calvin and Hobbes

MemphisRaines said...

I'll try to say this politely: Why don't YOU design something, you worthless fucking piece of shit?

Well said! People, they do this for free & they're offering us (uhhh, fans? groupies?) an opportunity to purchase schwag (schwag!) that features the catch phrases they've made part of our vernacular. Quit'cher whinin'! If you want it in some random font or with some other design there are a million sites on these here interwebs that'll let you do it.

Awful Chief said...

devang, there is also a shirt that goes along with that one that says "i'm the bitch that fell off".